Relationship !

[ChillHill]

I'm sure this posted all over here but I just wanted to add my specifics and see what advice I could get from yall.

 

I'm 20yrs old. I was in a relationship with a girl for a year, it started out with her being crazy about me but towards then end it was the other way around (not that she didn't seem into me, but she was more in control I guess). We got into a silly fight and we broke up but we got back together within a week. Then we got into another dumb fight about 2 weeks later and she broke up for real with me. This was in October. Me being in love with her, kept trying to work things out saying it would be better she always saying "no no" I sent her some gifts and what not and this went on for probably 3 weeks of us still talking. A couple weeks went by with no talking and she had looked on my facebook (we were not facebook friends she deleted me) and somehow came to the conclusion that I hadn't changed at all for her and after that she completely stopped talking to me. No phone calls, texts, or emails. I haven't been able to get ahold of her since the beginning of November. I had to make a decision to move to Austin (I live in Dallas) and with the break up and her not talking to me I decided to to sign a lease for an apartment. She loves Austin and might end up down there some day who knows...but she wont talk to me at all. I don't know if I should write her a letter towards the end up December (I move in Jan 8) saying hey I'm moving and I just wanted to see you before and catch up and remain in touch or if I should do nothing. I love her to death and I don't want to end up going and her thinking I left her cause I love her that much. I just want her to know that I care but I feel as if me letting her know I'm moving that that would show her that I've kinda moved on and changed a little possibly giving hope for a future relationship.. help :\

[swfc_77]

you should just go mate, why are you moving if you dont mind me askin.

 

i presume its to better your life and not just because you fancy a change.

 

im movin from england to holland in jan and have thought about speaking or seeing my ex before i go, but what good would it do. i would just end up sat in a foriegn country wantin to come home to see her and speak to her again.

 

i have only told my own family and 1 or 2 friends as i dont even wants her to know out of fear she will contact me to ask for a catch up.

 

i would just keep moving forward and not look back, move on to bigger and better things, move on to the coping section as then you will realise your coping and not hoping so to say.

 

close that chapter of your life mate and grab this one by the balls.

[poorguy]

I have to agree on this one with the above poster. Looks like it sort of ran it's course. Your young, you have quite a few more relationships to be in yet, realistically...Tell you what though if you do want her back there is only one thing you can do and that is-NOTHING. That's right just do NOTHING..You'd be suprised the power of nothing. In other words just go away-she'll call

[ChillHill]

you should just go mate, why are you moving if you dont mind me askin.

 

Partly for change, but mostly because I planned on going there for school eventually and the opportunity presented itself.

 

Ever since we broke up my mind has been racing with a million different scenarios and all sort of things, one scenario almost made it seem like a sign. I'm not trying to be cheesy. My 2 best friends were planning on moving to Austin in August and had wanted to know if I wanted to go. I was still in the relationship so I hadn't planned on going. My gf loves Austin. She had ideas of going to school there for fall of 2011 and so did I so it wasn't hard to decline their offer because I would more than likely end up there eventually. She broke up with me just a couple of weeks before my friends needed the final answer if I wanted to go. I kept contemplating and when she finally wouldn't talk to me anymore I just said lets do it and signed a lease. Of course I know theres a lot of other people out there but we connect like no other, but we had been getting into a lot of fights and we needed a break for sure. So one scenario just seemed weird that she broke up with me right when they needed to know and plus, she had ideas to go there in about 6 months and we needed some sort of break and this is probably the only way we could have a real break. Of course thats just me thinking, for all I know she could never want to talk to me again I have no idea how she feels or what she thinks. I just don't know if I should tell her that I'm moving, I would love to get back with her eventually, but I know I can't hold onto that idea. So its like...If I tell her that I'm moving, that might show her that I don't need her and might give her a reality check also making her possibly choose Austin in the future. I truthfully just want to be in contact with her in some way. We both went through a lot. if I was to write her I would simply tell her I was moving, not where though, and see if she wanted too catch up to call me. If she cared at all she would call me to figure out where I was going if not then that would be it.

[swfc_77]

i also connected with my ex like no other, i let her in so deep that when she left it felt like someone had pulled 85% of my life from under me.

 

you have a choice right now in your life, you know what they are.

 

i would take the choice that scares the sh..it out of you which is to move to dallas and not bother telling her, and when she contacts you because she doesn't know where you are just ignore it.

 

If I tell her that I'm moving, that might show her that I don't need her and might give her a reality check also making her possibly choose Austin in the future.

 

if i told my ex i was moving 1 of 2 things would happen -

 

1 - she would ignore it and leave me be - that would hurt me

 

2 - she would want to see me and "talk a friends before i go" and in the long run that would hurt me.

 

no win situation.

 

people would jump at the chance to move away and make a fresh start, but people dont get chances like this that often.

 

go for it mate.

[ChillHill]

i also connected with my ex like no other, i let her in so deep that when she left it felt like someone had pulled 85% of my life from under me.

 

you have a choice right now in your life, you know what they are.

 

i would take the choice that scares the sh..it out of you which is to move to dallas and not bother telling her, and when she contacts you because she doesn't know where you are just ignore it.

 

If I tell her that I'm moving, that might show her that I don't need her and might give her a reality check also making her possibly choose Austin in the future.

 

if i told my ex i was moving 1 of 2 things would happen -

 

1 - she would ignore it and leave me be - that would hurt me

 

2 - she would want to see me and "talk a friends before i go" and in the long run that would hurt me.

 

no win situation.

 

people would jump at the chance to move away and make a fresh start, but people dont get chances like this that often.

 

go for it mate.

 

 

I think you may be right. It is almost a sign to move to Austin since it happened at such the perfect time. Not contacting her is so hard...

[LuckyClover]

NC is really hard, but it really is the best thing. Sounds weird, but I tried the oppisite of NC and take it from me, everything everyone tells you about NC is true. Sad but true.