SO HURT at the thought that ex has been able to be intimate with others so SOON

[kooki]

Hi, I am a female who would really like the male perspective on my issue, although girls opinions are always welcome.

 

I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago after a rocky, but very intense one-year relationship. The relationship was serious with talk about marriage and love forever. My ex has always stated to me that I am the one who got away.

 

As soon as we broke up, my ex, started dating right away, literally the same week, and slept with two women in the first two weeks alone. Since then, he hasn't stopped calling me professing his love for me, but he still sleeps with women regularly. He says he feels empty when he does so.

 

I on the other hand haven't been able to sleep with anyone, I have been so heart-broken. The thought of being intimate with someone right now disgusts me. I am still not over my ex.

 

But I feel SO HURT at the thought that he has been able to be intimate with others SO SOON after our breakup.

 

Do you think my ex is honest when he says he loves me deeply? How come he doesn't get disgusted at the thought of sleeping with another girl if he still has very deep feelings for me?

 

Do the guys out there who fall madly in love with someone and who profess that she is the one for them, get involved intimately with others SO SOON after a breakup???

 

Please help.

 

Thanks a lot

[Yer_Blues]

Do you think my ex is honest when he says he loves me deeply? How come he doesn't get disgusted at the thought of sleeping with another girl if he still has very deep feelings for me?

 

Do the guys out there who fall madly in love with someone and who profess that she is the one for them, get involved intimately with others SO SOON after a breakup???

 

Please help.

 

Thanks a lot

Well I don't really see sex with women when single disgusting, and the idea of "rebounding" is pretty established. Whether or not it's effective, some people seem to turn into rabbits after losing their S.O. security blanket

[Leandro]

Hi, I am a female who would really like the male perspective on my issue, although girls opinions are always welcome.

 

I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago after a rocky, but very intense one-year relationship. The relationship was serious with talk about marriage and love forever. My ex has always stated to me that I am the one who got away.

 

As soon as we broke up, my ex, started dating right away, literally the same week, and slept with two women in the first two weeks alone. Since then, he hasn't stopped calling me professing his love for me, but he still sleeps with women regularly. He says he feels empty when he does so.

 

I on the other hand haven't been able to sleep with anyone, I have been so heart-broken. The thought of being intimate with someone right now disgusts me. I am still not over my ex.

 

But I feel SO HURT at the thought that he has been able to be intimate with others SO SOON after our breakup.

 

Do you think my ex is honest when he says he loves me deeply? How come he doesn't get disgusted at the thought of sleeping with another girl if he still has very deep feelings for me?

 

Do the guys out there who fall madly in love with someone and who profess that she is the one for them, get involved intimately with others SO SOON after a breakup???

 

Please help.

 

Thanks a lot

IMHO, If I was madly in love with someone and profess that she is the one for me, I wouldn't get involved intimately with anyone. But that's me, and everyone is different.

[Dedalus]

Hi, I am a female who would really like the male perspective on my issue, although girls opinions are always welcome.

 

I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago after a rocky, but very intense one-year relationship. The relationship was serious with talk about marriage and love forever. My ex has always stated to me that I am the one who got away.

 

As soon as we broke up, my ex, started dating right away, literally the same week, and slept with two women in the first two weeks alone. Since then, he hasn't stopped calling me professing his love for me, but he still sleeps with women regularly. He says he feels empty when he does so.

 

I on the other hand haven't been able to sleep with anyone, I have been so heart-broken. The thought of being intimate with someone right now disgusts me. I am still not over my ex.

 

But I feel SO HURT at the thought that he has been able to be intimate with others SO SOON after our breakup.

 

Do you think my ex is honest when he says he loves me deeply? How come he doesn't get disgusted at the thought of sleeping with another girl if he still has very deep feelings for me?

 

Do the guys out there who fall madly in love with someone and who profess that she is the one for them, get involved intimately with others SO SOON after a breakup???

 

Please help.

 

Thanks a lot

 

It's a cliche (but also the truth) that men and women tend to view sex differently.

 

Generally speaking, guys can separate sex from emotion 'better' than women. Speaking for myself, I can definitely sleep with a woman indefinitely without feeling anything emotionally for her. Women might start off doing the same, but fortunately or unfortunately (depending on how you see it) they tend to become more invested after a while.

 

Obviously there are exceptions both ways...

[Damaged23]

Some guys are able to be intimate with a person w.out having that love bond; to them is just a physical thing, if its not the same way for you then don't worry about it. If he's truly in love with you idk, doesn't seem so, but mayb he is.

[alimpo83]

My ex broke with me one month and a half ago.

 

After 15 days, I was already having sex with another woman, altough I don't love her. It's a bit empty sure, but men think of sex a lot differently than women, it's more of a chemical/animal reaction rather than a true feeling. It's in men's nature, nothing more. Don't dwell on it. I was the dumpee and as you can see I had no problem getting my body involved in sex, tough loving my ex with all my strength.

 

But my deepest feelings were not there. Simple.

[reservoirdog1]

It strikes me as weird. Not that he's sleeping with other women already (because I agree, men do tend to view sex differently than women), but that he continues to do so while professing his undying love for you. Hearing that makes my BS-O-Meter go off.

[pandagirl]

Having sex after a breakup is just another form of rebounding or coping.

 

And, I think it's probably more common with men, because while women cry, eat ice cream, and talk to friends for hours, men don't really do that -- they go out, get really drunk, and hook up with girls.

 

I've seen it firsthand. Men completely upset over their breakups and still in love with their ex, who just start sleeping around. It makes them feel better for the time being.

[kooki]

Thank you for your replies. I am still very much in love with my ex. He has been trying to get back together with me during this time we've been broken up.

 

We have been in contact (he calls me, and I pick up), and he doesn't spare me from the details of his sexual pursuits, which hurts me A LOT to hear. I keep asking him to please not tell me and keep those details to himself, but he still does it.

 

I don't know whether he really loves me or whether he's just trying to manipulate me to get me back (and just tells me BS that I am the one, etc.). Is he an *******?

 

I am so confused and so depressed about it. I am in a lot of pain.

[mridul_chajilee]

@kooki,after my breakup i was like a mad dog,i did what make me peace.My ex told me just after breakup that i only used her for sex,but that was false.so i did sex with three other girls to forget her but this bloody **** true love never leave me and still in her thoughts.sex is nothing but love is everything that i feel.

[Leandro]

Thank you for your replies. I am still very much in love with my ex. He has been trying to get back together with me during this time we've been broken up.

 

We have been in contact (he calls me, and I pick up), and he doesn't spare me from the details of his sexual pursuits, which hurts me A LOT to hear. I keep asking him to please not tell me and keep those details to himself, but he still does it.

 

I don't know whether he really loves me or whether he's just trying to manipulate me to get me back (and just tells me BS that I am the one, etc.). Is he an *******?

 

I am so confused and so depressed about it. I am in a lot of pain.

He is such a a******!!

 

If he truly loved you he wouldn't be telling you all that and sleeping around.

 

Cut contact with him. It hurts you way to much and he isn't stopping.

[mridul_chajilee]

@kooki,will you accept him even after dat he had already involve in sex with other gals?its a big question for u?who broke first,u or he?if u then go to him and excuse him and say dat u r feeling jealous,may be its a rumour dat ur bf is doing sex wid other?may be he trying to manupulate u to come back !! So its the time for u and go to him and save ur love,if u realy love him,coz no one is best than him for u and u wil never happy widout him,but u can survive a life only and u hv to compromise ur life with someone else but u never get the true love.Go go go...time is waiting for you.Good luck.

[SimonSerenade]

I'm sorry to hear he's come back after having sex with different people, As hard as it is you shouldn't let this affect your decision, I've been there and done that and if anything, after having sex with these women It's only made me think about my ex more and want her back even more, It's meaningless moments like them that really gives you some perspective on what you truly had.

 

My most recent ex of 3 years left me near 4 months a go, We have a child together, I was her first time and her first love and despite my feelings for others in the past I just knew she was the one and this time was the real thing, Being her first time bared a sunshine and a little bit of a rain cloud over my head as I wanted to be her only time and if all went to plan I would but if all fell apart like it has I'd have to deal with the possibility of her being intimate with somebody else, The thought breaks my heart in half every time.

 

It's possibly one of the hardest thing's about breaking up I think, I haven't touched anybody since her as I've made those mistakes in the past with others and felt no better whatever the outcome, If my ex was to come back to me and tell me she was intimate with somebody else it would probably kill me inside but because I love her I'd always have her back and I'd always find a way to get past it and be happy with her because that's just what she means to me, I think you should give it a go personally and try your damn hardest not to think of it and if your mind does wander to it then just remember who it's meaningful with and the answer will be you.

 

Good luck, I hope you can work things out.