bucketsorain Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 I have been friends with this guy for 9 months. We slept together right away and then decided to be friends. Then, we slept together again, then we were just friends again. Now, we are sleeping together again as friends. It sucks. I am completely in love with him, but every time I approach the topic of us being bf/gf, he just says that he doesn't want to hurt me and it will end badly. The sex is amazing, our friendship is awesome, we share the same interests and values, we can talk for hours, we play all the time, my kids like him, he likes my kids. So what gives with this? He admittedly has lots of baggage, but I simply can't understand. The last answer he gave me was that he just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. We are obviously very compatible, he says. And get this: I sent him a text saying that I felt like I was gonna throw up all day because I was feeling nervous about us. He calls me back and we start talking, and he says that he didn't want to tell me this, because it would make me like him more, but that I am always sending him text messages that are exactly how he feels, what he is thinking, etc... I'm like, "I know, dip****." I didn't actually say that, but I should have. We are connected in a very intense way, maybe that really is the problem. At any rate, he said that if he has to choose between sex and friendship, he chooses friendship. sigh. It stinks because I feel like if I stick around and accept the friend thing, he will eventually convert, but that type of thinking is not good, right? I don't think it is healthy to remain fixated on a future result. My war of attrition will not end well. So what gives with this type of guy? I think feeding him validation, sex, and attention is what I have been doing and that is the problem. And wow I think it must be time for me to move on. I just don't know exactly what that means... suggestions?
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