germain Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 So after 2 e-mails and a month or more of nothing (since break up) I decided she was moving on after breaking it off with me and my only option was to get on with my life. I removed her from Facebook and sent her a to the point e-mail asking for my things back. And then, only then did I actually get a response to my e-mail which I was basically asking: Had she really given up? Will there be an opportunity for me to show I have been working to change in the future? And that I really wish to be with her, even if it can't happen right now (LDR). Her response basically told me how she hadn't moved on, is a broken person, and really wanted the future we had planned to pan out. She felt what I expected of her (my neediness to some extent) was more than she could give. In response to whether or not I may ever see her again in my area, she replied that she wanted to. That she wants to return and me be a part of her life again, but that she "suspects" I'm not the kind of person that would be happy with her lifestyle/career and lack of time for me. And that it wouldn't be fair for her to "demand something cannot provide" her. I didn't expect to hear anything, but honestly to some degree I did at some point down the line. I know she still loves me and it's going to be a while before she and I will be able to move past this when we finally decide to start. But I really don't want to. Yet I feel as though she has decided that I am unable to change or cope with my insecurities, especially during this long-distance part. And that part about me will never be able to be contained, even as I strive to improve myself through therapy, establishing a strong group of friends, and focus more on my career goals. And less on making her the center of my life. She tells me she wants me in her life yet also says that she doesn't believe I can be happy with her, in turn making her unhappy. What do I say? Do I even respond? I've spent the last few hours typing up a gigantic e-mail to send, but what can I really say other than make my case (again) that change like this in a person takes a while, and I am dedicated to working this crap out. And that I love her. And am truly broken too.
Don_da_Ho Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 No, don't respond even though your "intuition" is badgering you to do so. She's made it clear that she can't deal with you insecurities and she wants to be single and that you wouldn't be able to deal with her being single. You need to continue to work on yourself. It is way too soon after your breakup for you to make any approach with her that will work. If you email her, it will only confirm that you are insecure, you will look weak no matter what you say and it will only cement her decision. Good luck!
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