just_some_guy Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 After Friday's drama (see the suicide thread), I'm trying to pull myself together today. I made it to work, but all I've managed to do all day is eat lunch and order brake rotors for my car. (do it myself, to save the $1800 the dealer wanted to do it). I'm oscillating between anger and despondence, feeling numb. I'm glad I have friends who care about me. There are a few who know what's going on and are concerned enough to call me, see how I'm doing.
trippi1432 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 After Friday's drama (see the suicide thread), I'm trying to pull myself together today. I made it to work, but all I've managed to do all day is eat lunch and order brake rotors for my car. (do it myself, to save the $1800 the dealer wanted to do it). I'm oscillating between anger and despondence, feeling numb. I'm glad I have friends who care about me. There are a few who know what's going on and are concerned enough to call me, see how I'm doing. Totally understandable JSG...you need your support group. Being that your ex seems to have a long distance family, she needs hers too. Perhaps the hospital situation can help her find that...does she have friends where you are that can help out instead of having to tap you all the time? In this time, given the circumstances, you each need your own.
Author just_some_guy Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 She does, actually, she has tons of friends and people asking about her. That's one of the things that is bothering me a little. They're calling me to find out how she is. The ratio is probably 10:1 calls about her vs. people who even ask how I'm doing. The best part is having seen her email, I know how badly some of these people talk about me behind my back. I don't let on about it, just funny how saccharine they can be. Stopped by the hospital with some clothes and a few minutes to talk. It's clear at least some of the motivation of this was to manipulate me. Then I stopped by to tend the cats. It was garbage night, so I gathered up the garbage. I spotted pill containers in the garbage and took a look to see what she had taken and then realized that not only did she neatly toss the bottles in the trash, she also cleaned up after throwing up. Looking around the house, I realized how stupid this stunt was. Not only does she have friends and people who genuinely care about her, the house is gorgeous and full of beautiful furnishings and things. I paid for all that stuff and now I'm the bad guy. I have carted in no less than a dozen boxes of stuff she ordered from Amazon and QVC and other places since Friday and more is on the way. WTF? One of her crying jags in the hospital was about thanksgiving, how she was miserable and spent it alone and no one called her. I know for a fact that she was invited to at least two people's homes for T-day and either didn't return calls or turned them down. There's very fine line I'm treading between being a decent human being and being co-dependent or whatever. At least I got a workout in tonight. Have to take care of me in the midst of all this poo. Absurdity.
denise_xo Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 There's very fine line I'm treading between being a decent human being and being co-dependent or whatever. This bit here is really key, and I hope you find some way of balancing your own life and looking after your ex. I learned the hard way both in relation to myself but also close relatives like my mother that sometimes you have to push it back on to people even if that's harsh. I don't know what that would mean in your situation and maybe you're already doing it to the extent that you can. But there is a fine line between supporting others and enabling their destructive behaviour. I'm not saying you're doing the latter, but I'm guilty of it so I try to warn others not to do the same. Maybe some of these 'friends' who are badmouthing you in the emails could come over and take some responsibility for the situation?.... Good luck to you, and I hope you plan some positive events for yourself over the next few weeks so you can recharge on energy.
Recommended Posts