My Soulmate

[PK7790]

Im a married man who is now 1 yr into an affair

Im not sure what its supposed to feel like but here goes.

 

I struggle daily my guilt its not for my wife but for my lover i worry constantly how much im hurting her and what im doing to her, iv not treated her well i have told her things about me that no one else will ever know, i told her because im comfortable doing so - i can tell her anything - but told her things about my past sex life that would make most cringe. Im trying to treat her well and (as well as i can in our situ) but i have a habit of opening my mouth and saying silly things that hurt her, she has told me she is loyal to me and she will wait for me - i trust her completely and was blown away when she said that, it hurts because im not giving myself to her - im still with my family.

Everyday we tell each other how much love we have and share, everyday i feel like crying because i love her so much yet im not ready to leave my kids behind, i love them so much.

I cry a lot i feel sick i hurt so much but for the 1 hr or so get 2 or 3 times a week when im with her.

She makes me feel amazing loved happy excited sexy

one day we will be together ill have the courage to move on and start a new life with her................

she is my lover my best friend my soulmate

[Spark1111]

Im a married man who is now 1 yr into an affair

Im not sure what its supposed to feel like but here goes.

 

I struggle daily my guilt its not for my wife but for my lover i worry constantly how much im hurting her and what im doing to her, iv not treated her well i have told her things about me that no one else will ever know, i told her because im comfortable doing so - i can tell her anything - but told her things about my past sex life that would make most cringe. Im trying to treat her well and (as well as i can in our situ) but i have a habit of opening my mouth and saying silly things that hurt her, she has told me she is loyal to me and she will wait for me - i trust her completely and was blown away when she said that, it hurts because im not giving myself to her - im still with my family.

Everyday we tell each other how much love we have and share, everyday i feel like crying because i love her so much yet im not ready to leave my kids behind, i love them so much.

I cry a lot i feel sick i hurt so much but for the 1 hr or so get 2 or 3 times a week when im with her.

She makes me feel amazing loved happy excited sexy

one day we will be together ill have the courage to move on and start a new life with her................

she is my lover my best friend my soulmate

 

You sound in a lot of pain PK, for someone so in love. I am sorry to hear that.

 

Why not tell your wife the truth: that you have developed feelings for another and need to separate while you explore your feelings with this woman.

 

Allow your wife to date also. She may meet someone who does not lie to her. It is a risk you may have to take to be with your soul mate.

 

But telling the truth is the manly, respectful thing to do for your family. It is the lies and deception that kill relationships.

 

Off to go to therapy with your wife: See if there is a marriage worth saving while you are separated. Live with your other woman full time to explore the relationship on a daily basis.

 

Agree to attend family therapy so your children will be better prepared for your departure, if that is what the future holds.

 

Why not approach this like an adult man, PK?

 

Why not?

[TaraMaiden]

You're a cheater, and you're betraying your wife.

If you still have sex with her, you're enjoying the best of both worlds, and you could get out, if only you had the balls, so what's stopping you?

 

I'm not sure what point you're trying to make.

 

You're lying and really just coasting along betraying both women, but you owe your wife more, not your lover.

You owe her the truth, and you owe her a divorce.

 

I just think you need a bit of a wake-up call and a reality check.

This is a mess because you've made the mess.

Now either clear it up, or put up and shut up.

 

Sorry, but I think you might have needed to hear that.

[PhoenixRise]

Im a married man who is now 1 yr into an affair

Im not sure what its supposed to feel like but here goes.

 

I struggle daily my guilt its not for my wife but for my lover i worry constantly how much im hurting her and what im doing to her, iv not treated her well i have told her things about me that no one else will ever know, i told her because im comfortable doing so - i can tell her anything - but told her things about my past sex life that would make most cringe. Im trying to treat her well and (as well as i can in our situ) but i have a habit of opening my mouth and saying silly things that hurt her, she has told me she is loyal to me and she will wait for me - i trust her completely and was blown away when she said that, it hurts because im not giving myself to her - im still with my family.

Everyday we tell each other how much love we have and share, everyday i feel like crying because i love her so much yet im not ready to leave my kids behind, i love them so much.

I cry a lot i feel sick i hurt so much but for the 1 hr or so get 2 or 3 times a week when im with her.

She makes me feel amazing loved happy excited sexy

one day we will be together ill have the courage to move on and start a new life with her................

she is my lover my best friend my soulmate

 

You know what....if you love this other woman as much as you say then you should man up and be with her. Tell your wife you want a divorce and work out a custody arraignment. Really what other choices do you have??

 

You could take control of your life and make changes.

 

or

 

you could continue to do what you are doing now. I would talk about how you are lying to and deceiving your wife and completely wasting her life but clearly your wife's feeling or what she deserves in her life is not even a blip on your radar. So let's talk about the one you care about... Yourself. You are miserable and you are hurting your OW too. How long do you think your OW is going to think you are oh so sexy and wonderful if all she see you doing is lashing out at her and weeping over your inability to take control of your own life.

 

Make a choice then make it happen.

 

or tell your wife you are having an affair and that you are in love with OW...likely she will have no problem making the choice for you.

[wicar1]

you are a cheater. Cheaters are masters of causing pain. You are no different.

[wheelwright]

Im a married man who is now 1 yr into an affair

Im not sure what its supposed to feel like but here goes.

 

I struggle daily my guilt its not for my wife but for my lover i worry constantly how much im hurting her and what im doing to her, iv not treated her well i have told her things about me that no one else will ever know, i told her because im comfortable doing so - i can tell her anything - but told her things about my past sex life that would make most cringe. Im trying to treat her well and (as well as i can in our situ) but i have a habit of opening my mouth and saying silly things that hurt her, she has told me she is loyal to me and she will wait for me - i trust her completely and was blown away when she said that, it hurts because im not giving myself to her - im still with my family.

Everyday we tell each other how much love we have and share, everyday i feel like crying because i love her so much yet im not ready to leave my kids behind, i love them so much.

I cry a lot i feel sick i hurt so much but for the 1 hr or so get 2 or 3 times a week when im with her.

She makes me feel amazing loved happy excited sexy

one day we will be together ill have the courage to move on and start a new life with her................

she is my lover my best friend my soulmate

 

If she were your soulmate, you would not hurt her. Unless you had unfinished stuff.

 

It may be next lifetime for you.

 

Good luck.

[greengoddess]

:eek:ONE HOUR or so 2 to 3 times a week.:laugh:

 

Yup it's true love.

[wheelwright]

:eek:ONE HOUR or so 2 to 3 times a week.:laugh:

 

Yup it's true love.

 

So the sarcasm shows what love is not.

 

What is love?

 

Please don't give me the washing line!

[artchick88]

You owe her the truth, and you owe her a divorce.

 

Now either clear it up, or put up and shut up.

.

 

Couldn't agree more.

You need to be a good man and divorce your wife and do right for your girlfriend.

Things will get worse if you wait, and since you could not be a good husband, you at least owe your wife THE TRUTH and A DIVORCE.

[kuma]

I would talk about how you are lying to and deceiving your wife and completely wasting her life but clearly your wife's feeling or what she deserves in her life is not even a blip on your radar.

 

He has no compassion for the mother of his children. OP, please stop wasting her life. It is HER LIFE not yours...

[wheelwright]

He has no compassion for the mother of his children. OP, please stop wasting her life. It is HER LIFE not yours...

 

Isn't it funny how we have compassion for the person in our own plight?

[Jonah]

Gee, you get to buy gifts for two families this year PK! Is it just the gal or are you going to shop and buy for her kids if she has any? Maybe just give cash... save some time... And my bet is your time is slipping from you too trying to maintain two ladies.

 

If you can't make up your mind on what do do about this today, then you have decided to be ok with your life as it is today and maybe for 2011. So accept that and be ok with your decision. Embrace each moment, don't let worry steal the day.

 

Sooner or later though, something will have to give. You can only save one princess guy. Till then though, respect that you are who you are. You are living a life the best you can so you might as well enjoy it!

Edited December 7, 2010 by Jonah

[thomasb]

You know what? Not worth it. A post by a resident OW. Just not worth it.

[carrie999]

Im a married man who is now 1 yr into an affair

Im not sure what its supposed to feel like but here goes.

 

I struggle daily my guilt its not for my wife but for my lover i worry constantly how much im hurting her and what im doing to her, iv not treated her well i have told her things about me that no one else will ever know, i told her because im comfortable doing so - i can tell her anything - but told her things about my past sex life that would make most cringe. Im trying to treat her well and (as well as i can in our situ) but i have a habit of opening my mouth and saying silly things that hurt her, she has told me she is loyal to me and she will wait for me - i trust her completely and was blown away when she said that, it hurts because im not giving myself to her - im still with my family.

Everyday we tell each other how much love we have and share, everyday i feel like crying because i love her so much yet im not ready to leave my kids behind, i love them so much.

I cry a lot i feel sick i hurt so much but for the 1 hr or so get 2 or 3 times a week when im with her.

She makes me feel amazing loved happy excited sexy

one day we will be together ill have the courage to move on and start a new life with her................

she is my lover my best friend my soulmate

 

If you've just discovered LS, your OW may already be posting on the OW/OM board. You need to make a decision...not between two women (or your family and the OW), but what you actually want. And stop leading everyone on while you make that decision. Come clean, and treat them both with respect by letting them know what you're thinking and feeling right now.

[whichwayisup]

You know what? Not worth it. A post by a resident OW. Just not worth it.

 

Was thinking the same thing.

[bentnotbroken]

Was thinking the same thing.

 

 

Ditto.

[Iconoclast]

So the sarcasm shows what love is not.

 

What is love?

 

Please don't give me the washing line!

 

You see, it's kinda like this. He's in love with her, but he doesn't love her.

[thomasb]

Actually, the pathetic attempt at validation is rather pathetic if you think about it. Really rather sad...truly.

Edited December 7, 2010 by thomasb

[SidLyon]

Actually, the pathetic attempt at validation is rather pathetic if you think about it. Really rather sad...truly.

 

Very very sad.

 

There's a lot of it about right now. Must be that time of the year.

[TaraMaiden]

So PK: now you've been brought up sharpish from wallowing in self-pity, at a situation you are entirely responsible for - what you going to do about it?

 

 

Sings #"Hello Silence, my old friend......"#

[jthorne]

Actually, the pathetic attempt at validation is rather pathetic if you think about it. Really rather sad...truly.

Bordering upon mental illness methinks.

Or maybe just boredom because the MM isn't around much.

You decide which one.

[Dexter Morgan]

she is my lover my best friend my soulmate

 

lust and sex with someone new does not a soulmate make.

 

if you were to divorce and marry the OW, give it a few years and the next woman to give you a good orgasm will be your new soulmate.

[jthorne]

and the next woman to give you a good orgasm will be your new soulmate.

From what I understand, it doesn't even take years.

[Dexter Morgan]

From what I understand, it doesn't even take years.

 

yup, varies from cheater to cheater just how long it takes before wanting variety again.

[Spiritgirl]

You know what? Not worth it. A post by a resident OW. Just not worth it.

 

 

Excuse my ignorance but what does that mean?