Having a hard time with temptation to look at their facebook

[radrluv72]

I also find the FB thing to be the most difficult part of NC. My exdefriended me two weeks ago after I told him not to contact me unless he wanted to have an honest talk about what was really going on with him in our abrupt split. 2 days after that, he went as far as hiding his friends list & their postings on his page, but left his own postings on his wall public...of which, I found to be a little odd. I officially implemented NC Friday of last week when I sent him a message telling him that I'd sent almost all the things he gave me while were dating back to him in Afghanistan. I haven't communicated with him since. But looking at that damn page...yes, it is *so* hard. I miss him so much & love him dearly.

 

The ironic part of the whole FB thing is that I know my ex is just as much of a "stalker" as I am, and he doesn't update or comment as much since I told him not to contact me. After a long talk with one of my best guy friends about what happened with my ex, I have a feeling that NC is going to be just as hard on him as it has been on me, only since he was the dumper, I'm the one getting my power back. But I know a big part of that is that I need to stop looking at his page, because I know it's interfering with my healing process. I marvel every day about how hard it is to get the head & the heart to cooperate with eachother after a breakup. It's day 11 for me...day 30 can't get here fast enough, so I can start feeling like a human being again.

[poorguy]

NO looking a Facebook!!! I think Carhill called Facebook "Satan's Notebook"-which I thought was funny because it's true. Nothing good comes from Facebook as far as relationship go. I was talking to a divorce attorney at work and I asked him how Facebook factors into divorces nowdays?? He laughs and says, and I quote- "I call Facebook exhibit A"

[Buzzkillington]

I'm not an obsessive user of facebook (Though definitely check it once a day so that might count), but I sure as well was for the first couple of months after breaking up.

 

It's definitely the worst part of NC I think, provided you don't still live together or have kids I mean. Since I knew she was seeing her new guy, and pretty much all the posts that were on her fb page right after were him sending her youtube music videos with winky smilies (F**** sake) and suggestive messages, I deleted and blocked her eventually. But it took a couple of months.

 

It's a horrible site sometimes!

Edited January 10, 2011 by Buzzkillington
Edit: And deleted all her friends from University (who actually were lovely people) and her brother. Don't need reminders.

[Rose T]

NO looking a Facebook!!! I think Carhill called Facebook "Satan's Notebook"-which I thought was funny because it's true. Nothing good comes from Facebook as far as relationship go. I was talking to a divorce attorney at work and I asked him how Facebook factors into divorces nowdays?? He laughs and says, and I quote- "I call Facebook exhibit A"

 

Thanks for this funny post - Satan's Notebook and exhibit A, lol! I needed a laugh...

 

I'm having a really tough time today - I deleted my ex from my Facebook 5 weeks ago, straight after the break-up - but I was with a mutual friend yesterday and couldn't help having a peek at his profile... I saw a photo of the woman he'd cheated on me with!! So awful... Also because she looked kind of plain and ordinary, it almost made it worse... don't know what I was expecting, Liv Tyler at the very least lol... now I've been in a whole world of trouble today and have had to delete and block Skype and Gmail chat and any other last vestige of contact just to get my wall up again and get through the day... Facebook is evil. Don't go there, learn from my pain...

[Vickstar]

My ex bf who dumped me 3 months ago deleted me a few weeks ago for no reason whatsoever, i never spoke to him, upset him, begged him, none of that! Even tho we didnt speak it was nice to know that we were cool by being fbook friends but obviously not

He still friends with people really close to me like my brother, best friend etc

Im glad his profile is set to private but i keep nosing at his friends profiles seeing what he comments on there, highly doubt that hes doing the same with my friends, oh well

[Mrlonelyone]

Strangest FB story.

 

Ex has a new BF she blocked me on her main FB page....then created a second one that is not blocked to me. WTH!?

 

So she must like the other guy more, but still likes me too? :-/

 

FB Allowing grown people to act like teens again since 2004.

Edited January 10, 2011 by Mrlonelyone

[I have no title]

I was lucky that my EX deleted his facebook profile a month before we broke up, so I'm not struggling with this temptation.

But he has profiles on other websites and photoblogs, so what i did is just -asked my father and he blocked those web-pages in the settings of my browser so - Now I cannot enter them even if I would like to. In the beginning I felt like a drug-addict searching for another dose, I couldn't find my place and I already wanted to ask my father to unblock those websites again, but I resisted the temptation, and I am happy for that - since it accelerated the process of healing.

I also blocked him from any possible communicator, and deleted everything connected with him.

I would say it reaallly works, and it reaallly makes my life much easier!

I also convinced myself that it didn't make sense to think about our memories together, since he dumped me in a very ugly way, and he is not worth thinking about. In the beginning it seems impossible that you can control your thoughts and let someone out of your head - but if you really try to keep yourself busy with other things, and everytime you have the smallest thought about your ex - you just force yourself to think about something else, you get used to not to think about your ex at some point (cause you've been constantly prohibiting yourself from it).

If you commit to this, you eventually reach the point when your thoughts swich automatically, and you actually stop thinking about your ex at all.

[Akumark]

I deleted her at first, then two weeks later added her again since I found myself childish because we weren't officialy dating (still unsure about that). I was not looking at her page since it made me feel bad atm and removed her from my online chat list. Yesterday I was feeling pretty ok about it and I looked at her next pics. I was amazed by her cold stupid sexy stare and how beautiful she was, I didn't sleep the whole night after that. I am so not over it right now

[Ajax]

I deleted her at first, then two weeks later added her again since I found myself childish because we weren't officialy dating (still unsure about that). I was not looking at her page since it made me feel bad atm and removed her from my online chat list. Yesterday I was feeling pretty ok about it and I looked at her next pics. I was amazed by her cold stupid sexy stare and how beautiful she was, I didn't sleep the whole night after that. I am so not over it right now

 

How did she react when you added her back? I deleted my ex from Facebook a week ago after 4 months of NC. Now I kind of regret it but if I add her back now I'll look completely weak.

[Akumark]

She didn't say a word, a common friend posted a ? as a comment on the new friend post and she replied with: lol. She hasn't called or texted me since I wrote her a small letter saying I wanted space since I didn't feel ok. I don't think she really expect anything from me exept maybe platonic friendship now so it's all about if I feel like it or not (I don't right now). We don't have a lot in common so I don't really miss talking to her but I miss everything else... I think the reason I feel like hanging around with her again is due the my past behaviour with her during the ''relation'', I want to make some sort of ammend.

[SeriousBob12]

FB is really dangerous!

 

In fact it's the devil when it comes to exes.

 

you're tempted as can be to see their profiles, but there is nothing you'll see or learn that will aide you in your recovery. In fact, it will just set you back.

 

I'm guilty of checking hers in the past, and I really can't tell you what I was looking for.

 

The deal breaker was when she changed her profile pic to her with her new man. For obvious reasons this hurt, but even more so because in the whole time we dated she never did that to me. Sure I had a pic of the two of us together, hell she even got pissed at me once for changing it (thought I did it to annoy her), but never reciprocated it. God I felt even more worthless.

 

 

Stay away at all costs. There is nothing that their page will show/tell you that will help you in any way!!!

[Buzzkillington]

My ex girlfriend saved me today.

 

My friend wanted me to find an old picture (I think I posted this somewhere else too yesterday, about how I saw an old picture and got upset) on my old facebook account, then today realised that I could use the account to see her profile picture this morning (Not friends on there though, so thank god couldn't have looked at her profile) - turns out she blocked that account (which only 'existed' again for like a day before she did it, lol!), and instead of feeling bad I thought oh thank God. You saved me from hurting myself like a moron!

 

You'd think I'd have been annoyed that within a few hours of it being there again she'd blocked it, especially when we weren't even friends on it and there was no reason to think I would have tried to contact her/annoy her or anything, and no chance of stalking. But no, it felt good. She might have just saved me from seeing her and a guy. And I know its none of my business. I stalked her for like a week or two after the break up but that was months ago - however I think we both made the right decision blocking each other from those accounts.

 

I know its only facebook and it shouldn't matter but it's really the devil when it comes to break ups, and it seems to blow up into this big important thing for me for some reason.

 

Back to the gym and then looking for a new job...

[ALonerAgain]

Oh boy, am I guilty of this.

 

My ex dumped me 10 months ago and only a couple of days after, had untagged himself from all photos of us (and there were A LOT). Set his profile to private, so I couldn't see what he was up to (good move), but stopped short of actually de-friending me.

 

I had de-friended most of his friends and eventually himself within a month as I couldn't bear seeing his photo on my Friends list.

 

Unfortunately, he still kept some my friends on his list. And that's when little bits of 'evidence' started filtering through.

 

It was never 'blatant': like shots of him displaying any kind of physical affection towards his new girl. But rather, the flirty comments attached to the photos that made me suspect his less-than-honest behaviour about the break-up.

 

I was still friends with one of his mate's girlfriends (as she and I share an interest - not my ex though!) and she let slip that the group holiday that I was supposed to go on with them, my ex was staying in a villa full of his female friends - including the 1 I suspected him to be with.

 

A few months later, I gave in to my urges one particularly bad day and stalked the mutual friend's page for this girl's profile. Surprisingly, this girl had left her wall "open" for all to see. And that's when my suspicions were confirmed: they were indeed together and that the 2 of them would be going on holiday for her birthday next month.

 

What makes me sick is I remember having a conversation with this girl a couple of months before he and I split and she seemed really nice. I even remember my ex saying to me that SHE had commented on how good we looked together and that I must really love him. She was even on my friends' list for a few months before we split!

 

Urgh. Lesson learned. Unfortunately, due to this relapse, I have now set-myself back a few months. And I have now had to de-friend the mutual friend to prevent any more relapses.