Having a hard time with temptation to look at their facebook

[GreenPolicy]

I deleted my ex as a friend after she dumped me. The circumstances are such that I didn't get much of a reason that made sense to me. I have not looked at her page since the day she did it, and the logical, rational part of my brain tells me that no matter what I find, it will upset me.

 

Anybody else struggle with this?

[poorguy]

Don't do it...Someone should start a thread called "Post here instead of looking up your exes Facebook page"

[GreenPolicy]

Don't do it...Someone should start a thread called "Post here instead of looking up your exes Facebook page"

 

yeah, I won't. It's the hardest aspect of NC I find following. Probably cause it's the easiest thing to do.

[whatadeer26]

I would look at her page all the time. She was one of the FB people everyone hates also. Constantly updates statuses, post songs, comments on everything, is flirty on posts, talked about how great her life is, talks about how sad she is. Real drama Queen and attention whore. Everything I saw upset me. Deleting her was the best choice of my life. I also love the fact she can't see into my life also.

[poorguy]

I went through that all summer long. She would put pics of her and her new guy up there, of course-why wouldn't she...F facebook..Discipline

[poorguy]

Haha...My ex is an attention whore..If she wakes up with a headache at 8am by 8:20 400 people on facebook know about it....DONT LOOK IT DOESN"T SOLVE ANYTHING!!!

[whatadeer26]

I wish FB was never opened up to those without University or College e-mail addresses.

 

It is for narcissits, ie my ex. I'm not bothered by her anymore because she will never find a guy as good as me.

[SimonSerenade]

I had that problem and my heart always sank when I saw pictures of her having a good time out with the ladies while I was stuck inside looking after our child, Felt completely abandoned, I deleted her friendship and blocked her on it, She don't show up on anything any more, I get tempted to unlock her sometime's and take a peek at what's going on in her life but I resist temptation and pretend she don't exist as that's the best thing to do.

[Nkognito]

I have looked at mine a few times quickly after the breakup but nothing really changed. The feeds stopped once I de-friended her and her picture stayed the same, doubt it will ever change.

 

But after the two times I looked, I realized I wont see any changed and it just doesn't help. After halloween I wanted to see if there were tagged photos but bleh, I am done with her. I still have the urge to type out her name but why bother, it wont bring it back and does not do me any good.

 

Right now I am back on the dating scene, in rebound mode nonetheless but I am not out to break hearts. The girls I speak with right now, know I am not looking for anything long term.

[AlisaMarie]

I go through the same thing. Sometimes seeing things helps you through your anger stage, and validates things that you probably already know... but if finding things out emotionally hurts you... just stay away. It can be bad if you let it. But I found myself looking at my ex fiance's page and he's married and happy. It's been four years, and he was a cheater/lair, but seeing him happy actually made me feel good inside. I am not jaded.

[GreenPolicy]

I go through the same thing. Sometimes seeing things helps you through your anger stage, and validates things that you probably already know... but if finding things out emotionally hurts you... just stay away. It can be bad if you let it. But I found myself looking at my ex fiance's page and he's married and happy. It's been four years, and he was a cheater/lair, but seeing him happy actually made me feel good inside. I am not jaded.

 

 

Despite how things ended between us, I still love her and care about her deeply. And if we can't be together, of course I want her to find happiness and success. I want her to end up with somebody like me who will love her and treat her right. But I absolutely do not want to know about it. I don't think she cheated on me, and I don't think she left me for someone else specifically, but the thought of her with somebody else is very upsetting, and if we never talk again or get back together, she will eventually start dating again. She may already be involved with somebody else, it's been 7 weeks. Thankfully with NC I won't know about it.

[AlisaMarie]

Despite how things ended between us, I still love her and care about her deeply. And if we can't be together, of course I want her to find happiness and success. I want her to end up with somebody like me who will love her and treat her right. But I absolutely do not want to know about it. I don't think she cheated on me, and I don't think she left me for someone else specifically, but the thought of her with somebody else is very upsetting, and if we never talk again or get back together, she will eventually start dating again. She may already be involved with somebody else, it's been 7 weeks. Thankfully with NC I won't know about it.

Aww... I know what you mean. Sometimes knowing that they move on helps you move on. Sometimes I hear or find out things that I would rather not know. We can just hope that they will be alone or at the least... never find anyone as great as us! But like you said, in the long run... you'll want her to be happy. I am sorry you are feeling so sad. Heartache is not an easy thing to deal with..

[GreenPolicy]

Aww... I know what you mean. Sometimes knowing that they move on helps you move on. Sometimes I hear or find out things that I would rather not know. We can just hope that they will be alone or at the least... never find anyone as great as us! But like you said, in the long run... you'll want her to be happy. I am sorry you are feeling so sad. Heartache is not an easy thing to deal with..

 

Thankfully we met through online dating and have no lasting mutual friends. There is no information pipeline between us.

[NickJH1]

My girlfriend defriended me on facebook. I am guilty of looking at her profile which is mininal as she has it on a high privacy setting. My profile is open as is has always been. I was guilty the other day of adding some of her LIKES to my own LIKES (as they are my likes also!!!)

 

anyway now she obviously has seen my LIKES and gone and changed her LIKE setting to private!!!!!!

 

It is funny how we adults behave sometimes we really are no different to kids except we have to pay bills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AlisaMarie]

My girlfriend defriended me on facebook. I am guilty of looking at her profile which is mininal as she has it on a high privacy setting. My profile is open as is has always been. I was guilty the other day of adding some of her LIKES to my own LIKES (as they are my likes also!!!)

 

anyway now she obviously has seen my LIKES and gone and changed her LIKE setting to private!!!!!!

 

It is funny how we adults behave sometimes we really are no different to kids except we have to pay bills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ha ha ha you're so right nick! We are grown up yet playing these little games. It's just because we still care. It's sad, but funny sometimes.

[Sassafras]

Don't look at her FB page. I was guilty of it and everytime I did, I saw something that broke my heart and sent me spiraling into a deep depression again. The best thing I've ever done was to gain control of those urges and STOP. Trust me, nothing good can come from looking. Block her if you have to, but dig deep and find the strength to move on from it. I promise you'll be happier for it and moving on will be easier. You don't need the constant setbacks. Best of luck.

[gastin]

i have been struggling through the same thing for about 6 months. for the first couple months i was looking at her profile. Even now i give in to temptation and look at her profile. but try hard not to because what you dont know cant hurt you even though you might now what is going on seeing it just makes it worse. i still want to look at what she is doing but i know it will only make me hurt more

[Fufu]

I used to see my ex-bf facebook profile very recently until I block and delete him.... who cares anymore

[amagordos]

Yeah im thinking of deleting my ex from facebook. It's just weird because I told him we could still be friends, but we don't really talk and its been almost four months since the break up. I just don't know what to do. He also has a new girlfriend, so i don't think he would mind if i delete him, it's just hard for me because i still wanted to be friends with him.

[BorderRogue]

I deleted my ex as a friend after she dumped me. The circumstances are such that I didn't get much of a reason that made sense to me. I have not looked at her page since the day she did it, and the logical, rational part of my brain tells me that no matter what I find, it will upset me.

 

Anybody else struggle with this?

 

When times were tough I'd go on-line and check the EX out on a popular music site. Just sit there and stare at her pic and wonder what she was doing. It worked for awhile until one day and it sucked so bad I will never look again.

 

Mind you I was 15 mos into the breakup, you'd think I was healed. Apparently I wasn't and that 2 minutes of peeking ripped the scab to the bone. God it hurt. Saw her with her new guy and she was talking to HIM like she use to talk to me. Yeah. Painful.

 

I was kind of worried that I'd be at zero again but I got over it. Thank god. A friend of all things told me that since I went completely NC she was probably using the video as "bait" for me. I have no idea why but that crazy statement made me happy. Yeah the cross we bear.

[PowerOfOne]

It's been 3 weeks since we broke up. I've been too s*** scared to look at her fb page since. I was riding an 'up' for a few hours last week and thought that it'd be a good test to see where I was at. Only thing she had was a comment on how she was enjoying her holiday and about a dozen friends 'liking' it but it sent me down to a low point in about 2.6 seconds.

 

I've hidden her from my news page and i've decided i'll go nowhere near it until I'm convinced can look at it and see a 'in a relationship' without feeling like I was kicked in the guts.

 

I can't really explain why i haven't deleted her and her friends... I think it's a pride thing. I don't want to let her know that it's got to me. I know, I know, i shouldn't care.

[Lemontang]

No good comes of looking at their facebook page. Not only did I delete & block one of my ex's but I deleted her family off mine as well. I didn't need her family feeds coming through and have them viewing what's going on in my life when I have no need to be involved with them any more.

Yes I got along great with her folks & sisters but I didn't need them filtering my life back to the ex. Even caught up with one of her brother in-laws about 5 months back and we discussed it and he totally understood why I removed him because the issues it'd create weren't worth the trouble it's possibly cause.

 

When you think about it before Myspace & Facebook it was so much easier to forget about them, so simply removing this tool to them should have the same effect.

[Damaged23]

No good comes of looking at their facebook page. Not only did I delete & block one of my ex's but I deleted her family off mine as well. I didn't need her family feeds coming through and have them viewing what's going on in my life when I have no need to be involved with them any more.

Yes I got along great with her folks & sisters but I didn't need them filtering my life back to the ex. Even caught up with one of her brother in-laws about 5 months back and we discussed it and he totally understood why I removed him because the issues it'd create weren't worth the trouble it's possibly cause.

 

 

I deleted my Ex's family members for the same reason. I really liked them, and we got along perfectly, so I hope they understand why I did it.

[REALM123]

I went onto my Ex facebook page the other day... Worst idea possible... saw everything she was doing and who she was with... the new guy! Wow brought that cold feeling to your body... You know the feeling? I now see her with my mutual friends pictures... it hurts seeing her with that guy but after 3 months I am feeling a lot better... everything takes time... We are in the same situation my friend! It will ONLY get better...

 

As soon as you find your peace with yourself... things will become ALOT easier down the road... it just takes time!!!!

[Movingthrough]

We all go through this type of stuff. In this time of day where its so easy to see someones life all the time, you always want to see whats going on. The way i look at it is, you know what you are going to see, and you are not going to like that, thats a fact. So i dont look. I had a friend come up that she knows for a few days, my friend posted that they were leaving, my ex asked where, when pic started going up of both of us hanging out she deleted the comment. Nothing ever came from it but you see what i mean, its weird, people act so different on there.

 

I actually havent blocked my ex because i dont want to have to see her main pic to do it, yeah its weird but im kind of using it as a test too. The fact is, if i dont search for her then i wont see **** about her, so i dont search.