DragonSlave49 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 hey, you guys. havent been on here for a few days...busy with work and things... anyway, things seem to be moving forward slightly. i do think that he is interested in me (seems that it is highly likely)... seems to be the type that doesn't push the issue... i just have to take things slow and make sure that i continuously go up to him and start conversation since that seems to make him feel more comfortable to do the same (i tend to get super nervous right before i approach him for some reason, but im always welcomed even got so nervous once i walked into something ... let's just say i was HIGHLY embarrassed )... thanks for the advice you guys! this definitely will be a work in progress... but i AM patient and i believe the rewards will be amazing. just have to swallow that nervous feeling thats in the bottom of my stomach. Why is it taking you so long? Why are you wasting so much time here? It is dangerous for you to beat around the bush like this (see the last paragraph)! You should just take the initiative and ask him on a date, but be prepared for either eventuality and stay professional, since this is taking place at work. Dating is where people find out about each other. Heaven forbid he has to miss his favorite TV show because he's talking to a real person for a change. I'm going to venture to say that the two of you, even if you're physically attracted to each other, are from different planets. You strike me as the type of person who is completely within the confines of society. You're looking at a lot of things in terms of "right and wrong" that really are just matters of preference. He reminds me of myself, so I feel like jumping to his defense. His questions seemed random to you and were "dead end", but only because you didn't respond to them well. Communication is always a two way street. That being said, I actually thought from reading the OP that you two probably had a mutual attraction. I think both of you will face a challenge of being honest to each other. Because of your goal-oriented approach you might end up glossing over differences when it would be better to talk about them. Since he is obviously trying really hard (in his own way), you should think about things that he may be hiding. Ultimately, though, i think that opinions are less important than people. I've had many a great potential relationship fail because of my poor communication skills. There was one girl that I was involved in an organization with who I ended up deciding might like me (and I liked her). I met with her one day to discuss business for the organization and she was dressed up really nicely, and I know it was because she was trying to impress me. I thought that the organization was too important to jeopardize with drama between us, so I told her that I wouldn't like to date her because I was worried about how the organization would be affected. The problem was that she hadn't asked me out or anything yet, so she got offended by this and quit the organization. So I might as well have dated her, because in truth I was attracted to her. So by trying to do the "right thing" I ruined everything. The organization fell apart after that. The prerelationship stage is full of communication land mines, so you shouldn't dally there.
Author music3000 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Posted December 17, 2010 Why is it taking you so long? Why are you wasting so much time here? It is dangerous for you to beat around the bush like this (see the last paragraph)! You should just take the initiative and ask him on a date, but be prepared for either eventuality and stay professional, since this is taking place at work. Dating is where people find out about each other. Heaven forbid he has to miss his favorite TV show because he's talking to a real person for a change. I'm going to venture to say that the two of you, even if you're physically attracted to each other, are from different planets. You strike me as the type of person who is completely within the confines of society. You're looking at a lot of things in terms of "right and wrong" that really are just matters of preference. He reminds me of myself, so I feel like jumping to his defense. His questions seemed random to you and were "dead end", but only because you didn't respond to them well. Communication is always a two way street. That being said, I actually thought from reading the OP that you two probably had a mutual attraction. I think both of you will face a challenge of being honest to each other. Because of your goal-oriented approach you might end up glossing over differences when it would be better to talk about them. Since he is obviously trying really hard (in his own way), you should think about things that he may be hiding. Ultimately, though, i think that opinions are less important than people. I've had many a great potential relationship fail because of my poor communication skills. There was one girl that I was involved in an organization with who I ended up deciding might like me (and I liked her). I met with her one day to discuss business for the organization and she was dressed up really nicely, and I know it was because she was trying to impress me. I thought that the organization was too important to jeopardize with drama between us, so I told her that I wouldn't like to date her because I was worried about how the organization would be affected. The problem was that she hadn't asked me out or anything yet, so she got offended by this and quit the organization. So I might as well have dated her, because in truth I was attracted to her. So by trying to do the "right thing" I ruined everything. The organization fell apart after that. The prerelationship stage is full of communication land mines, so you shouldn't dally there. as far as in the lines of society --- not really. it's just that i have attempted to pursue before, and "put myself out there" only to not get what i wanted in return, so this has made me very cautious, and has affected my self-esteem with those things, so im very cautious with "how im come off" to ppl i like. i honestly never want to seem like im "into" someone too much, so i have perfected my art of appearing apathetic (though im raging on the inside ;P) it's kind of like a shyness... my hesitation.. i'm great with starting friendship, but i'm terrible at dating, which is why i haven't done it much. when he attempts to talk to me, i get so nervous, i "forget" what i planned to say. like, i think up all of these things to say BEFORE i see him, only to forget almost everything i planned. it's almost like i'm at a loss for words, and then we have awkward pauses. i can be kind of awkward with people at first. i usually make moves in very subtle ways. i understand what you're saying though...thanks for the example. thats something to think about... i do lack communication skills. i do plan to ask him out, however, i wanted to feel a bit more comfortable with talking to him before i did that, so when i asked him out, it wouldn't seem so "random", and this is also finals week for everybody, so i was just waiting for the semester to end... THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK YOU GUYS gonna keep you updated. i've been off so i should be seeing him at work the next time im in.
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