markdemicoli Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 .wysiwyg { BACKGROUND: #fdfdfd; FONT: 10pt verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; COLOR: #000000 } P { MARGIN: 0px } .inlineimg { VERTICAL-ALIGN: middle } Hi all, I have been in a long distance relationship for 6months since I met this girl during her holiday in my country, we passed a great time and kept contact with the story getting more serious everyday. I visited her in her country 3months after and those were the best days of my life, I saw her sad and I was sad too on my departure date back to my country, but what I knew was that it was not a goodbye, I was going to see her again. We were planning her holiday to my country and everything was going fine, we always kept contact everyday for 6months through sms and long video conversations on internet, lately she showed some indecision on purchasing the air ticket and after some days she explained that everyday that passes she misses and loves me more and it's hurting for her and she can't see it positive like I do that it's one day closer to our meeting, she just thinks that when we'll leave each other again it will hurt like breaking up every time. I talked to her abour making more frequent visits like 2months and she said that she knows that this is impossible, but for her even every one month it hurts, so we, but most of all she, chose to end this relationship cause this will only hurt more with time. At the moment I feel destroyed cause all my dreams I had of meeting again, and all the things I had to make me look forward to our converstaions and to comfort me when I have a bad day at work and every small thing that reminds me of her, now hurts too much. I feel dizzy and loss of apetite, I feel empty and wanting to release the pain I have inside but I cannot. I just felt I had every piece of my life falling into the right place and now it is completely messed up. I know that this is now over and i don't want to recover it cause i know what she feels, she wants to come over to my country for a proper good bye cause we still care for each other, but I don't know if this is good cause it will hurt even more for me. Please help me.
Don_da_Ho Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Sorry Bro. I know what that feels like. I don't think you should see her again for a "proper" goodbye, you're right, it will only make you feel worse and continue your pain. That can be done by text or over the phone but I don't think that's necessary. LDRs are very difficult. I have been there too. Each time you leave each other it's like your heart is getting torn out. It gets tiring. Sorry to say, but I would suggest you get busy with your life, exercise and start meeting other women even though you don't want to. Good luck.
Author markdemicoli Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 Today at work was really painful and every moment i have free, I have her in mind. Today is the first day after 6months with no contact at all cause we chose to leave some days before we talk again. I have nothing against this girl, she was honest and everything and the same from me, I promised to be faithful, but not everyone sees it the same, I always knew that there was almost no future for us and that's what killed the relationship, because she knows that our breakup will come one day and that with time we'll only get more affected towards each other and that it will be more painful. Maybe I was seeing it better because I accepted the fact that there was no future as I had just started my career in my country and wouldn't move to her's (she's still studying) before 2 years and I know it's nearly impossible for such a thing to work so long. So I was taking it day by day but then it got bigger and she was my major part for these last months, planning our meeting was something to keep you going everyday. Remembering our memories was something to make you joy, but relationships cannot go on if you know that you have no future, and I accept that, I know what I am feeling is just temporary but damn it hurts so much, i knew this would happen one day, but you never expect that day to come. My only worry for this LDR was that I would maybe lose my real other half if I encountered her, cause I promised not to betray this girl and I would have kept it no matter what cause I didn't want to hurt her. And I know that for her ending this relationship was painful, she was just crying on cam, and I felt so bad I couldn't just go and hug her and talk to her properly to fix this, that's why I really don't know what to do about the meeting her again for a good bye, I want to see her again, but I don't want my mind to hope for second chances and I want to remember that our last physical meeting ended with a kiss and an I love you with the certainty of meeting again. I really don't know, I hope the pain doesn't take so much to pass cause I really cannot concentrate on other things, I feel tired, dizzy and sick.
Don_da_Ho Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 Well, as long as you continue posting a monologue and instead of having a dialog, you will continue to feel miserable.
Author markdemicoli Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 what do you mean by posting a monologue. I am trying to explain what I am feeling now, this was the longest and most serious relationship I ever had so I never felt so bad after a breakup. That's why I am posting what I feel with the hope that someone who has gone through the same or a similar experience can help on my biggest dillemma of meeting her again or not. I want to make it clear that I want to remain friends with this person cause I know that not erasing her for ever from my mind would make it easier. LDR can sometimes be a conversation through internet etc. but with a person to whom you feel so attracted etc. so I hope I can keep the conversations with a person who was very special for me and still is, obviously without any hope of a relationship anymore. That's my biggest problem right now, meeting again or not in person? and how to keep good contact without feeling bad that the 'love' relationship ended.
Don_da_Ho Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 What I mean is that your posts are long and go on and on about how you feel. That's fine, but you're really not asking any questions so members aren't able to offer you much advice. You might consider posting in the Coping section. BTW, I did answer your question: Sorry Bro. I know what that feels like. I don't think you should see her again for a "proper" goodbye, you're right, it will only make you feel worse and continue your pain. That can be done by text or over the phone but I don't think that's necessary. LDRs are very difficult. I have been there too. Each time you leave each other it's like your heart is getting torn out. It gets tiring. Sorry to say, but I would suggest you get busy with your life, exercise and start meeting other women even though you don't want to. Good luck.
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