Maybe I'm Too Hopeful - Second Chances

[ccnaboy2000]

Well it's getting late here and I'm a little bit of an insomniac now. So I'll give an overview here of my situation and you all can tell me what you think.

 

My ex girlfriend and I dated for 5 months to the day. Things were great, she was a wonderful girl and there was an instant connection. We spent all our time together, she was always over at my place doing things all the time. She ended up moving in with me after a month (yea a little quick but I didnt mind). Well after a month my business partner decided he wanted to buy me out, I was working 16 hour days and that was just too much for me, the condition was I had to move out of my place, we shared a double house.

 

I agreed, i moved out and we still lived together, but then my biz partner screwed me over and never paid me. So I lost my most of my income. Things were a little tough but I got by. She stood by me the whole time. Her moms side of the family hated me since they thought me being without a job I couldnt support her, her dads family loved me because I was a good guy and they saw I treated her better than anyone. She had a history of being in abusive relationships. She also suffered from pretty bad depression. She visits her psychologist, who said he's noticed a huge change in her since she dated me (in a good way).

 

Well fast forward to month 3. I've still havent found work, things werent looking great for me financially. She said she wanted to be single, and she didnt feel secure with me since I lost my income and thats made her start thinking about her ex-bf. She said she still wanted to date me. I got a little bummed over it, I was trying my best. Couple weeks went by and she cried telling me she didnt want to breakup and still wanted to be with me and things went on. Things were great we still did stuff together all the time.

 

Month 4 1/2 came by, going on interviews for jobs but still havent been hired, I started getting depressed and distanced myself from her. I had to leave my apartment and moved in with a friend and she went to live with her gramma. She still called me and texted and we saw each other almost daily. She constantly reminded me how she loved me, and how its good that we are going through this now because it will make us stronger. Kept telling me she missed living with me. I could tell she was depressed though, she started smoking weed like everyday. I loved her so much but I was kind of depressed over my situation.

 

On our 5 month anniversarry I got a text saying "we need to talk about us". I knew what that meant. I met her at her job and we talked and laughed in the car, and then I asked what she wanted to talk about, she started crying saying she just wants to be single, and we need to figure out our lives and get out **** straight. I was calm and cool, I asked her if this is what she really wants? I told her I wanted to work things out. She said she didnt feel appreciated lately and just wants to be single tell things get better. I didnt argue or fight, I didnt beg or plead.

 

Later that night she texted me asking if I was OK. I ignored it since I went no contact immediately. Next day she tried asking if i was ok again, then kept texting asking why I wont talk to her. The next morning I replied, I told her that I do love her and care about her, but I care about her but I cannot be her friend since I will always want more, and unless she felt there was something worth saving please dont contact me again. She was upset said whatever you want.

 

Another day rolls by she texts me, saw that I visited my old online dating profile and was like "Your already dating? I guess you got over me quick" didnt reply, 2 hours later, she texted me to remind me I had my job interview later that day. Still didnt reply.

 

Last texts I got was late at night 2am in the morning on Wednesday. She told me she misses me and loves me she doesnt know why I dont want to be her friend and I must hate her, she doenst know why I dont want to be her friend. She says she doesnt know why she wants to be single. She says she still wants to be with me but we both have stuff we need to work on and being together made us too comfortable. SHe still loves me.

 

I didnt respond. She hasnt tried making any contact since those texts Wednesday. No more late night attempted phone calls. She seems to be chatting up other guys a lot now on facebook, and since she is now single she's getting a LOT of male attention too. Everything she posts seems to be all happy laughing and joking.

 

 

She admitted once she always sabotages her relationships and the guys dump her, I'm the first guy she's dumped. She always said she's the kinda girl that would never leave a guy and work through things no matter what. (GUESS NOT) I'm also the first non-abusive relationship she's been in. I'm actually a very nice guy :\

 

Maybe I'm deluding myself into thinking she wants a second chance in the future when things are better in our lives. I dont know what do you guys think? Everything she said makes me think she is genuine. Advice, Opinions welcome. I dont know what to make of all this. It's a big mess, one bad thing after another. :\ I will admit I didnt show her appreciation or love much prior to the breakup because of my hardships. But right now I'm maintaining no contact. FML

Edited December 6, 2010 by ccnaboy2000

[strength-abounds]

Stay NC, get a kick a$$ job, make a ton of money, and find someone that will stick with you with through thick or thin. Live well, brother.

[Don_da_Ho]

Good job in not begging, chasing or responding! I think you've done everything right. You can't worry about who she's dating or what she's doing. Focus on getting a job and getting your life back on track. It will all come together. She may come around, she may not. If not, there's always another good one coming around the corner.