Ex girlfriend broke up w/ me 4 mos ago,NC 46 days,calls,wants me back,then disappears

[deuces]

I posted a couple weeks ago that after 46 days of NC, it was broken on her birthday. She then proceeded to tell me that she wanted to get back together, would do whatever it takes, and was willing to try to make it work. I told her I really wasn't sure how I felt about getting together and that I couldn't give her answer right then. I would just have to think about it. Then she doesn't call for a week. So, I call her and as much as I tried not to bring it up, I basically said, "Let me get this straight, you want to get back together but you aren't capable of calling?" We end up arguing, phone gets disconnected and now a week later, her phone is still disconnected. WTF?

 

Background: We were together 4 1/2 years. She broke up with me in August. We were long distance. But I spent 1/2 the year in her country and the other 1/2 in the states for the past 4 years. I understand that calling from her country to the states is super expensive. Let's just say it would cost a whole days pay to call me for 15 minutes. BUT there are tons of internet shops around where this would not be a problem.

 

If you want something bad enough, you do whatever it takes right? Guess she didn't want it bad enough? What were her intentions? Did she really want me back or was she just messing with my head? And if she was just messing with my head, then what the hell for? Any insight anyone please? I'm going crazy bc I don't have anyone to really talk to about this.

[deuces]

Any sincere thoughts? Please?

[dreamer0123]

I don't know- my ex did something similar and I"m just as lost as you... my only advice is (and this is what I tell myself)- is decide what works best for you. If you want to continue to try to reach out then do- if not that's ok too- don't base your thoughts on what she is thinking because they either will similar to completely different. You don't have control of what she does - only what you do.

 

Does this even make an ounce of sense?

[cerridwen]

If you want something bad enough, you do whatever it takes right? Guess she didn't want it bad enough? What were her intentions? Did she really want me back or was she just messing with my head? And if she was just messing with my head, then what the hell for? Any insight anyone please? I'm going crazy bc I don't have anyone to really talk to about this.

 

Yes, when you want something bad enough you DEFINITELY put more effort in than she has.

 

No, she didn't want it bad enough since as you said, getting to a computer and sending you an email is easy enough. That she can't go out of her way to do that is telling. She reappeared, disappeared, and has stayed gone. She is a flake. You deserve better.

 

I don't know that she was messing with your head. Hard to tell what her intentions were because you didn't include more details about why she might want to do that; how you broke up; who broke up with whom. Did you burn her in the past? Does she have a history of being unreliable and inconsistent?

 

But actions DO speak louder than words: She put very little effort in getting you back by failing to email, call, whatever. Perhaps she felt rejected that you didn't leap at the opportunity to reconcile.

 

Regardless, please fire her from your life.

Edited December 7, 2010 by cerridwen