lovebitme Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I might be over thinking this. I went on two dates with this girl. First one coffee and then drinks at a bar and the second one a nice dinner and walk around town. Both dates went great but I never got a third one. We talked about going to a movie sometime but it never happened and now she is gone. I'm asking if it matters that I didn't ask her someplace special or something. Say, like a concert or some event that she's into. You know, something to really wow her. I would think if a person is into you after two dates then where you go for the next few doesn't matter. They just want to see you right? Or am I wrong about that? Either way doesn't matter because if it's that important to thr girl I think I'd want to move on to the next one. But for the next girl I meet should I be more choosy about picking awesome places and things to do?
zengirl Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I don't think it really matters. A place would only matter to me if a guy insisted on taking me somewhere I had a strong adversion against. For instance, a guy once tried to take me on an early date to a Friday's Front Row, which is loud and noisy sports bar type atmosphere, and some of his friends were going to be there. I cancelled on him once he brought up the place, citing not interested in a tag-along date at that stage. Something like that might put me off -- attitude matters, as I'm fine with meeting friends; I met my boyfriend's friends early on, but it felt more like he wanted to show me off and less like he just wanted to hang out with his buddies. It also would put me off if -- in the great, interesting city I live in -- a guy only seemed to go to chain restaurants or something. There are plenty of interesting local restaurants, free shows, and things to do. . . and I like supporting local businesses. But on the first date, I wouldn't care, and by then I'd know if he felt the same way about the local scene. That's more a shared value thing, though, and I'm a bit strange about it. For the most part, I think it's more the interaction than the activity. Really interesting activities can cover up the fact that the dynamic isn't interesting yet. . . and maybe it can allow you more time to develop that interaction, but that seems a waste to me. With the right person, it's easy to have fun.
Author lovebitme Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 For the most part, I think it's more the interaction than the activity. Really interesting activities can cover up the fact that the dynamic isn't interesting yet. . . and maybe it can allow you more time to develop that interaction, but that seems a waste to me. With the right person, it's easy to have fun. Agree. I'm all for doing some fun activities and opening up my wallet for a g/f but I like to get about 5 dates under my belt so I know the girl is into ME and I'm not being used. Then I'll splurge and spend $300 on one night. Hell, $1000, in a blue moon. I like to take care of my girls but I want to know if it's for better or worse. You see where I'm going with this? The reason why I wrote this is because the girl who I had feelings for I believe I could have gotten a 3rd date if I would have offered her to someplace fun. She's into concerts. I could have gone out and bought front row seats to the rock concert in town and guess what..... she wouldn't have passed it up. But part of my heart would have felt like I was trying too hard. The other part would have felt like I was getting the girl. So I'm split on the decision. I just want to find a girl who loves me for me! I think I made the right choice.
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