dreamer0123 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Hi Everyone I posted in the other forum as well but thought I should post in here as well.. My ex and I broke up last Oct. We were together for 3 years and were on different pages- we had a good relationship (so I thought). Anyways- we talked a little bit originally (once a month or so) but I went Completely NC for 5 months after I asked him for a second chance and he said no. In Aug he called me out of the blue- we met up and he said he missed me, and wanted a second chance. He thought I didn't fight for the relationship and I gave up on us.. I wasn't expecting this at all- so I told him I needed time to think. We met up once in Sept for coffee but neither of us brought it up- Since late Oct- we've seen each other at mutual friends parties. The last two weeks we spoke on Sundays. So today he came over for brunch- and things got carried away. We hooked up and but then I pulled away asking what all of this meant.. he pretty much told me he was looking for a friends for benefit deal and that "he wasn't ready"- he pretty much think things won't ever work out but then at the same time wants to hook up. I don't get it- I mean it's like he misses me, but wants thins friends with benefits- i told him I can't do that.. that I'm too attached for him and one day it would be nice to be friends- but why the sudden change? Why go though all that effort of contacting me? I'm so mad at myself for thinking he really wanted a second chance... any advice?
You Go Girl Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Ick. If he wants friends with benefits, he can find that somewhere else. You don't settle for crumbs when you want the whole cake. I'm sorry he's being such a jerk.
durkadurka Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Ick. If he wants friends with benefits, he can find that somewhere else. You don't settle for crumbs when you want the whole cake. I'm sorry he's being such a jerk. Bingo. Why sell yourself short?
Livelovelearn Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 i think he just missed the sex and the physical part of the relationship, he sounds like he doesnt know what he wants so i would just leave him alone. my ex broke up with me last year and came back three months later saying he missed me and whatnot ive come to realize that the only reason he came back was because he probably wasnt having success with other women, and of course he knew i would be willing to get back with him, which i did and it was great in the beginning however he wasnt serious because he never wanted to talk about our problems which then came back up again and then he broke up with me again and get this left me for another woman which he had been seeing 2 months before the breakup behind my back....overall i personally think men only come back or say they miss u and make it seem like they want you back...because of sex,,probably because some arent as successful with women as they thought theyd be
Author dreamer0123 Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 i think he just missed the sex and the physical part of the relationship, he sounds like he doesnt know what he wants so i would just leave him alone. my ex broke up with me last year and came back three months later saying he missed me and whatnot ive come to realize that the only reason he came back was because he probably wasnt having success with other women, and of course he knew i would be willing to get back with him, which i did and it was great in the beginning however he wasnt serious because he never wanted to talk about our problems which then came back up again and then he broke up with me again and get this left me for another woman which he had been seeing 2 months before the breakup behind my back....overall i personally think men only come back or say they miss u and make it seem like they want you back...because of sex,,probably because some arent as successful with women as they thought theyd be I do think he's confused.. and not sure of what he wants. I do feel like I need to get my feelings out in the open (for myself) not him so I think that's what I'm going to do. I will not get into a FWB deal.. but sometimes it just makes you wonder how people think? I mean not in a million years I would have guessed this would happen... it's dissapointing...
fiat500 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Ugh! You never want to be around someone when they're "confused" He gets NOTHING if he doesn't want a real relationship. That's the only thing you should be sure of.
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