BS76 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Riddle me this. I'm a 24 (nearly 25) year old guy, I've got a well paying job, hard working, athletic, and not to toot my own horn, I'm a pretty attractive guy. Since I hit the market again I've been more aware of what's going on around me. Something that has struck me is that a lot of the girls I know, between the ages of 20-27 are all dating men significantly older. I'm not talking 2-3 years, I get that, I'm talking about 7-10 years older, fellows in their 30s. It seems to defy standards, it's not that they have more money, or that they are more attractive. Quite the contrary, I've observed them to be uglier, and not necessarily over achievers. So I really don't get it. If they aren't more attractive, and they don't have money. Why the hell would they prefer to date men almost old enough to be their dad's. I just don't get it. Q Why are so many women attracted to significantly older men? A. Hypergamy. It's wrapped around the instinctual drive in women for a provider & protector. It manifests itself as women dating men of higher station than themselves, which often translates to being with older men who've got an economic and social head-start in life.
musemaj11 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Q Why are so many women attracted to significantly older men? A. Hypergamy. It's wrapped around the instinctual drive in women for a provider & protector. It manifests itself as women dating men of higher station than themselves, which often translates to being with older men who've got an economic and social head-start in life. Yup, parasitic instinct to look for the best host to leech off.
Els Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Yup, parasitic instinct to look for the best host to leech off. Sigh, I give up. I've wasted too much of my life trying to reason with a person who either: a) insists on retaining the victim mentality all his life against all reason and logic, and not doing a jot to change things for himself other than whining on a message board, or b) is a troll. Either way, I have better things to do. I hope my answers benefited the OP and the other men who are genuinely seeking answers, at least.
sigurpol Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 (edited) Not really addressing anyone else's post nor am I answering the question But I just thought I'd share a few occasions to create some more feedback. However, I do notice a lot of other women "seeing" older men. Not to say every woman does it. I remember when I tried my luck on another dating site, this one girl and I spoke for a bit. Met once.. and that was all. Nothing came of it. However, I've seen her come into where I work with her new boyfriend (said so on her page) and the guy is easily 10-15 years older than her. Got me scratching my head. But uh, this reminded me of two friends of mine (both female). One of them was my date to my brother's wedding a few years ago. At one point during the night, she said, "I feel like I'm robbing the cradle tonight.. being your date". I asked what she meant. She said because she was older than me. By one year. I was 23. She was 24. I pointed this out and she said she was used to dating guys older than her. I knew her ex was around 32 or 33 years old, and I mentioned that. She said she dated a guy who was 47 years old. FORTY SEVEN! I really didn't know what to say. To add to it, she was younger than she was at the time.. so who knows. Another friend of mine has been romantically involved with her boyfriend the past two years. Good for the both of them. She's 25, he's 41. A girl who I used to be close to in high school has been dating a 38 year old, divorced, with two children. She's my age (25). Again, I'm not saying this is wrong, and everyone is doing it. I'm just not used to hearing it and don't quite understand. Then again, it doesn't concern me. I'm happy with who I'm with now and there's a 2 year difference. Fine by me Edited December 6, 2010 by sigurpol
kdark Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Yup, parasitic instinct to look for the best host to leech off. No better than the men who date them, who are just looking for a young piece of a$$.
GorillaTheater Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 By one year. I was 23. She was 24. I pointed this out and she said she was used to dating guys older than her. I knew her ex was around 32 or 33 years old, and I mentioned that. She said she dated a guy who was 47 years old. FORTY SEVEN! So if my wife decides to jump ship, I can look foward to the possibility of dating girls my daughter's age. I'm trying to decide if that's good or not. Right now I'm leaning towards "not".
mmk1 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 (edited) I think younder women are looking for older men as more mature and knowing what they want. I'm 49 and I've dated very attractive girls as young as 30 and I'm currently dating a girl who is 32. They do not mind the age difference and I admit it helps that I look and act younger than my age. The 32 year old thought I was 37 initially. Nothing wrong with this, IMHO, and I will keep doing this as long as I can! Edited December 6, 2010 by mmk1 typos!
EasyHeart Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 This has to be one of the strangest threads I've seen. Since when have women NOT dated men who are older than them? Why wouldn't they? Isn't the average age gap in married couples 6-7 years? I don't know any married couples where the man isn't at least a few (and often many) years older than the woman. Especially if the women are in their twenties. Have you even SEEN a guy in his twenties? The only shocking thing would be if any woman would ever voluntarily date such a vile creature.
Eclypse Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 It really gets my blood boiling when people lump all young guys into the same "immature, only wants hooks" stereotype. Don't they know much that hurts guys like me who actually prefer a stable monogamous relationship? There's a fair few of us out there, and clubs and pubs are not the place to find them. I got rejected last year because I was too young (I was 3 months older than her). Now she's dating a 38 year old (she's 19) and she always complains to me and cries about how he's always raiding on wow and doesn't want to see her or talk to her apart from when they get together to have sex. Talk about immaturity But all that's behind me. I'm dating a girl who's a year older than me and Age has never come into conversation yet... so maybe I'm one of the lucky ones?
cerridwen Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Men in their 30s are young enough to still look hot but old enough to be better at navigating relationships than guys in their 20s. By virtue of their greater life experience older men bring better partnering to the table. They know how to be patient, show interest in a partner, weather moods better, and come across as less capricious. Guys in their 20s are not often as emotionally mature even when they are cultured or monied. Male or female, who wouldn't be more attracted to a more attentive partner who treats you well, is matrue, and still physically attractive?
aerogurl87 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 It really gets my blood boiling when people lump all young guys into the same "immature, only wants hooks" stereotype. Don't they know much that hurts guys like me who actually prefer a stable monogamous relationship? There's a fair few of us out there, and clubs and pubs are not the place to find them. I got rejected last year because I was too young (I was 3 months older than her). Now she's dating a 38 year old (she's 19) and she always complains to me and cries about how he's always raiding on wow and doesn't want to see her or talk to her apart from when they get together to have sex. Talk about immaturity But all that's behind me. I'm dating a girl who's a year older than me and Age has never come into conversation yet... so maybe I'm one of the lucky ones? Not all younger guys are immature and into hooking up I'll admit. My boyfriend is the only guy I've ever dated who is younger than me. He's 18 and I'm 21. Ironically enough he's more mature than my ex who was 30. He's one of the few young guys I've met who wasn't into beer pong, hooking up with girls, and doing other random meaningless things alot of boys around my age are into. I think I just got lucky to be honest because he's a rare breed for his age group from my experience.
Author durkadurka Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 Not all younger guys are immature and into hooking up I'll admit. My boyfriend is the only guy I've ever dated who is younger than me. He's 18 and I'm 21. Ironically enough he's more mature than my ex who was 30. He's one of the few young guys I've met who wasn't into beer pong, hooking up with girls, and doing other random meaningless things alot of boys around my age are into. I think I just got lucky to be honest because he's a rare breed for his age group from my experience. All of the activities you just listed above are very young, but like many guys on here have said, it's a shame all of us guys in our 20s are lumped together. My idea of a great evening is sitting in front of the fire with a bottle of wine or sitting in the hot tub, not out at a club hitting on tons of different women. Just not cool.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 The idea of dating someone old enough to be my parents is repugnant, regardless of how mature they are. Yeah, but you're not the one dating someone old enough to be your parents. Stop eyeing insecure girls and you won't encounter the traits known to insecure people. The detailed answers for each and every one of those girls lies in her past somewhere, but they don't matter to you.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 (edited) I have always dated men right around my age or only slightly older, but I think women like to date older men because they treat them like the young hottie. The last guy I dated for a few months was 6 years older, which was the biggest age gap for me ever. And even though the gap was relatively small, he was still treating me like the young hottie. It was great. There's this older guy at work (I'm guessing about 15 years older) who totally flirts with me, but in a respectful way. He looked at me from way across the office today and shot me this huge lusty grin. I totally felt like a sex bomb. Edited December 8, 2010 by Ruby Slippers
MJ2 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Because they are usually more mature and treat us better. They are not in the going out scene and tend to know who they are as a man.
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