Why are so many women attracted to significantly older men?

[Star Gazer]

Well I would too, I mean everything above the age of 30 has been smashed and beaten a few times.

 

:lmao: I'm 32, and I wouldn't consider myself to have been smashed or beaten, regardless of how you meant that!

 

OP, as it has already been said, women in their mid-20's might prefer to date men 7-10 years older than them due to the disparity in maturity levels between herself and guys her own age.

 

A 25 year old woman and a 32 year old man is not some crazy age difference, particularly when maturity levels are taken into consideration.

[musemaj11]

I disagree with the popular myth that males mature slower than females because its not true.

 

It is just that the man as the traditional caretaker is generally expected to be more mature than the woman so if there is two equally immature male and female, the male will seem less mature than the female.

[DollWelch]

Based on other people's relationship(s) that I am aware of and I have encountered, I'd say women go for considerably older men simply because of maturity.

 

With maturity, comes great deal (realistically or ideally, perhaps) of experience. Not only that, but also, wealth. Older men have accumulated through the years, hard earned (or not so hard earned) money.

 

Some women just have this fantasy notion of landing that Promiscuous (in the bedroom) 35 year old wealthy man.

[musemaj11]

Some women just have this fantasy notion of landing that Promiscuous (in the bedroom) 35 year old wealthy man.

I dont think its 'some'. All women want the mythical Mr. Perfect.

[DollWelch]

I dont think its 'some'. All women want the mythical Mr. Perfect.

No. I know quite a few wonderful woman who don't. They do exist.

[112233]

Gosh, I feel sorry for older men sometimes. Of course, this is a generalization, but it's a shocking sense of entitlement these women have.

 

Yeah, tearing through all those 20 something honeys is a real chore. Don't know how I'll manage to find the strength to continue. But I'm certain I will.

[kdark]

Meh. People can choose to date whoever they want, age wise.

 

The only thing that grinds my gears are the women who automatically discount me because I am the same age as them, as if since they are female they are SO much more mature than I am. Going on a dating site and seeing a 24 year old with a preferred partner age requirement of 25-40 just makes me laugh.

 

Judge people on an individual basis. Don't make broad generalisations and assumptions just because someone is younger than you. I thought age was supposed to be just a number?

[Untouchable_Fire]

I am curious why so many women are attracted to significantly older married men? When I am reading the OW/OM forums the age difference between the female affair partners with their married men is usually at least 10+ years.

 

Oh! I noticed that too! What's up with that trend?

 

Those women tend to choose just dirty old guys for affairs. When I'm reading the OW forum a 30 year age gap just doesn't surprise me. I don't have an explanation. Men of them were single.

 

I'd say they more have grandpa issues than daddy issues.

[112233]

Those women tend to choose just dirty old guys for affairs.

 

What makes you think the guys are dirty?

[musemaj11]

No. I know quite a few wonderful woman who don't. They do exist.

Well, I dont think its because they dont want Mr. Perfect. Its probably more because either they cant find one or they realize early on that he doesnt exist.

Edited December 6, 2010 by musemaj11

[Untouchable_Fire]

What makes you think the guys are dirty?

 

dirty old guys... the word dirty is adjective describing old... not men.

 

Thus I'm saying he is 'Old as dirt', not that he is a dirty guy. I'm sure they have decent hygiene.

[denise_xo]

Because older guys are, generally, more mature.

 

This, in a nut shell. I appreciate maturity and experience in all people around me, not just in partners. I find the idea of that meaning that I want a baby sitter rather ridiculous I don't 'generally' go for older men, though, I've dated men my age up to 12 years my senior. Age is a number, personality traits are the criteria.

 

A general cut off point for me would be if the man could technically be my father (eh, not at 7 or 10 ).

[Els]

Yea those are basically the most common reasons.

 

Women want older men because they want the man to babysit them, not the other way around.

 

Women and young women especially want mature and experienced men because they want to be the immature and inexperienced ones but god forbids they have to put up with someone else's immaturity and inexperience.

 

Just as I say in other threads, except few exceptions, women generally always want someone else to do their dirty work for them. They are inherently parasitic.

 

Oh come on. It isn't like the older men are the unfortunate victims. In many cases, the men themselves prefer younger women to women of the same age... you can just read the many threads about this to see for yourself. One seeks an older man to treat her like daddy's little princess, the other seeks a younger woman whose appearance hasn't been touched by the lines of age yet. Again, fair trade.

[Els]

Meh. People can choose to date whoever they want, age wise.

 

The only thing that grinds my gears are the women who automatically discount me because I am the same age as them, as if since they are female they are SO much more mature than I am. Going on a dating site and seeing a 24 year old with a preferred partner age requirement of 25-40 just makes me laugh.

 

Judge people on an individual basis. Don't make broad generalisations and assumptions just because someone is younger than you. I thought age was supposed to be just a number?

 

I agree completely. To be fair, though, many people just are this way... and age isn't the only number they use to automatically discount people unfairly. Men discounting women who are the same weight as them. Women discounting men who are the same height as them. Men discounting women for the size of their breasts... And it goes on and on. There is a bigger issue with such people, who narrow their dating criteria down to a number, than age itself, methinks.

[TouchedByViolet]

Meh. People can choose to date whoever they want, age wise.

 

The only thing that grinds my gears are the women who automatically discount me because I am the same age as them, as if since they are female they are SO much more mature than I am. Going on a dating site and seeing a 24 year old with a preferred partner age requirement of 25-40 just makes me laugh.

 

Judge people on an individual basis. Don't make broad generalisations and assumptions just because someone is younger than you. I thought age was supposed to be just a number?

 

I agree completely. To be fair, though, many people just are this way... and age isn't the only number they use to automatically discount people unfairly. Men discounting women who are the same weight as them. Women discounting men who are the same height as them. Men discounting women for the size of their breasts... And it goes on and on. There is a bigger issue with such people, who narrow their dating criteria down to a number, than age itself, methinks.

 

Yes and Yes.

 

In high school and most of college I had bought into the illusion that women mature faster than men. I believed that lie for years until I began spending more and more time with women watching how they interact with each other, gossip, deal with problems, approach life, etc. The average woman is no more mature then that average man.

 

Most women who date older men are more sexually attracted to them based on appearance and the IDEA of maturity. A ~20 year old woman will not know what maturity of a ~30 year old man is. She does not have the life experiences or understanding, but she does have an idea in her head. Older men have more experiences, stories, adventures, etc. which makes them more interesting. Level of maturity is something completely different. I do find the arbitrary nature of the attraction toward older men frustrating sometimes but meh, women will like who they like and so will men.

[tinktronik]

Oh for ****s sakes, see the little X in the top right corner of your screen? Do the world a favour and click it or get back to the original topic.

 

If you want to debate semantics, go join one of your local political parties you can go bicker and debate bull **** all you want there.

 

Oh boy, I see your going to be quite the add on around here.

 

I for one started dating my spouse, who is about 17 years older than myself, in my early 20s (23/39). It was repugnant to me to date yet another 20 something guy that wanted to "grab a brew", "hit the club", "hook up with chicks". Sigh, no thanks. My spouse was well over those days, he had personal interests he enjoyed and had passion for, music, cooking, people watching, ect and that he regularly pursued. He had lived long enough to figure out what those things were for him. There was very little of the insecurity that a man holds onto when he is young and figuring it out, he knew who he was take it or leave it and he was ready to do the same with me. He never needed me to be wrapped up in him or to be completely wrapped up in me, we could both just be ourselves, live for the things we loved and enjoy our time together. All of these things speak of maturity and self-assurance, single men who have it are well disposed to date attractive women of any age.

[Els]

Well I would too, I mean everything above the age of 30 has been smashed and beaten a few times.

 

That being said, I have a mental aversion towards dating people that aren't within +/- 2 or 3 years of my age. Can't do it.

 

...Wow, so now it's okay for older men to want to date younger women because women their age have been 'smashed and beaten a few times' (even though they themselves probably have too) ... but not okay for younger women to want to date men older than them?

 

Talk about double standards.

 

Look, I know your story, I know what happened in your breakup. I read and sympathized with you in the LDR forum. I know your ex left you for an older guy... but there's no point taking it out by being irrational with all women like this. You're only going to turn into the scores of bitter men hovering around here. How your ex acted is not how a woman should act, period; the AGE of the man she is with is immaterial.

 

Let go. What you're doing now is only going to hurt yourself, not her.

Edited December 6, 2010 by Elswyth

[poorguy]

I have only been in 3 TLR's. The first was 6 years younger (19), the second was 9 years younger (19), the 3rd was 13 years younger (20)...For whatever reason thiss seems to be what's attracted to me and I of course them. The one problem I have noticed is the younger ladies go through changes that I really can't be bothered with so eventually we break up. It's as if we just end up having different agendas. I will say they usually begin to date someone else right after we are through. The thing about it though that I cannot understand is after some time of them dating a new exciting younger dude or whatever they always always want to come back to me....Young ladies are soo confusing lol

[aerogurl87]

Before I met my boyfriend ALL the guys I dated were older than me by at least a year. The oldest being 11 years my senior. I think for me it came down to the fact that older men were usually alot more mature then the boys I was meeting around my age (early twenties) and looking to be settled. I didn't want to go out and party and hook up, I was looking to find one guy to be with and start planning out a future. But that's just me.

[alex1960]

Why the hell would they prefer to date men almost old enough to be their dad's.

 

 

 

I just don't get it.

 

Dating someone who is old enough to be your dad is a bit extreme. 7 or 10 years older is not extreme.

 

As for why women prefer older men, you'll figure it out when you get there...

[Hopeful30]

Yea those are basically the most common reasons.

 

Women want older men because they want the man to babysit them, not the other way around.

 

Women and young women especially want mature and experienced men because they want to be the immature and inexperienced ones but god forbids they have to put up with someone else's immaturity and inexperience.

 

Just as I say in other threads, except few exceptions, women generally always want someone else to do their dirty work for them. They are inherently parasitic.

 

lol!

 

Women mature faster than men. Fact.

Older men are more attracted to younger females because they are more fertile. Fact.

 

Would you want to deal with a woman who has a lot of growing up to do and doesn't know what the hell she is doing with her life? I didn't think so. You would prefer an older woman who has a head on her shoulders.

 

This is exactly the immaturity im talking about. It almost seems sexist. A personal opinion is bombarded with comments like woman are "parasitic" simply because men assume all women are neurotic, psychotic, jealous bitches who want men to do all the work.

 

If this is your mentality, then you need to grow up a bit yourself.

[poorguy]

Also men in their 30's (not trying to offend anyone here) are also a bit more experienced in bed too. My last girlfriend as 12 years younger han me and I know for a fact nobody has ever made her feel like I did including her current boyfriend-which is probably why she's always sexting me now lol

[musemaj11]

Oh come on. It isn't like the older men are the unfortunate victims. In many cases, the men themselves prefer younger women to women of the same age... you can just read the many threads about this to see for yourself. One seeks an older man to treat her like daddy's little princess, the other seeks a younger woman whose appearance hasn't been touched by the lines of age yet. Again, fair trade.

I didnt say it wasnt a fair trade.

 

I merely said women are inherently parasitic in mentality.

 

Women mature faster than men. Fact.

WRONG!

 

Physiologically, yes.

 

Psychologically, no.

[Els]

I didnt say it wasnt a fair trade.

 

I merely said women are inherently parasitic in mentality.

 

And... a guy not wanting someone of his own age but choosing to date someone younger, less wrinkled, and better-looking is what again..?

[Els]

WRONG!

 

Physiologically, yes.

 

Psychologically, no.

 

Actually, dear, your posts compared to those of many women your age here are a very sad testament to the sheer RIGHTNESS of that statement - in your case, at least.