How badly did i mess up?

[ShotDown]

We started out as friends, then a month later, we started going out. It all started out smooth sailing, everyday, we would be happy to see each other and be with each other. We would do things for each other, support each other, comfort each other, basically being a happy couple. Slowly, i had changed for the worse, i started becoming insecure. We would fight and hurt each other more and more frequently as the months pass by. Things would be good for awhile and then suddenly take a turn for the worse (like a rollercoaster). She eventually grew tired of it all then broke up with me after being with me for 18 months. She offered to be friends and said i was still a very important person to her and still loved me. I accepted her offer to be friends.

During the course of being friends with her, i had believed that i really did mess things up as she was very close to the ideal girl i've always wanted. She was there when i needed her, she cared about me, she loved me, and she accepted a lot of my imperfections. After a week, i asked if we could mend things and perhaps to be together again. I wanted to change for her, to be how we were before everything turned into a rollercoaster. She told me she did not want to be couples anymore, she would need time to heal, to move on, but she still thought of me as an important friend and still loved me, just not the love that will make us couples once more. A month then passed by, i couldn't stand being only a "friend", i wanted more, i wanted her to love me again. I decided to ask her once more if we could be together, no luck. I then told her i could no longer be friends, because i harbor these feelings of love that i could not simply settle to be just "friends". She listened and went with whatever i chose. I chose to not be friends, to not see nor talk to each other until i felt i was ready to be friends again-- in other words, no contact. When we said our good byes, she told me she would be very sad and will miss me. I thought perhaps this would be able to heal and eventually make a chance in myself.

 

She was my first girlfriend yet i was quite immature. I regretted hurting her and that if i were given the chance to, i would change for her. Though it appears she's moving on and well, my question is, how badly did i mess up? Should i continue on with the no contact? It's been about a day and i miss her very much so. I just want to gain some insight on all of this -- hopefully to be able to choose a wise path and to become a better person.

[Capital P]

yes , continue with no contact. The other way isnt working and it never will

She will finally have to come to terms with everything now you have gone NC

See what happens, hold out

[ShotDown]

Her words of saying how she misses me, how she still loves me, and i'm considered a important person to her is still stuck in my head. Should i just ignore those words? To be honest, it's causing anxiety and restlessness.