SlawKing Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 My Ex and I had been together for almost four years. We got a dog together about a year ago and have been raising him together. For a few months before the actual breakup she seemed to be pulling away from me emotionally and refused to talk about our problems without starting a fight. We were still friendly during the breakup process. A few weeks after we actually broke up she invited me over for drinks. We both had a little too much to drink and she came on really strong. We wound up making love that night. I couldn't spend the night because I had work in the morning and my work clothes were at my house 45 minutes away. When I went to leave she begged me not to crying that she didn't want to be alone. The next day she claims that she doesn't remember anything that happened and it only happened because of the alcohol. Then, just two days after that night, she starts dating someone in one of her classes. After that she starts treating me like the devil and won't let me see the dog because it's, "just an excuse to stay in her life." I've been in relatively no contact for about a month now (I quantify that because I had to send her an email, which she didn't respond to, asking if I could have my stuff back that's still at her house) and she has yet to attempt to contact me. Is this just because she's rebounding, or should I not expect her to ever try to contact me? She's pretty stubborn and last time we talked she pretty much acted like she hated me.
Capital P Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 My Ex and I had been together for almost four years. We got a dog together about a year ago and have been raising him together. For a few months before the actual breakup she seemed to be pulling away from me emotionally and refused to talk about our problems without starting a fight. We were still friendly during the breakup process. A few weeks after we actually broke up she invited me over for drinks. We both had a little too much to drink and she came on really strong. We wound up making love that night. I couldn't spend the night because I had work in the morning and my work clothes were at my house 45 minutes away. When I went to leave she begged me not to crying that she didn't want to be alone. The next day she claims that she doesn't remember anything that happened and it only happened because of the alcohol. Then, just two days after that night, she starts dating someone in one of her classes. After that she starts treating me like the devil and won't let me see the dog because it's, "just an excuse to stay in her life." I've been in relatively no contact for about a month now (I quantify that because I had to send her an email, which she didn't respond to, asking if I could have my stuff back that's still at her house) and she has yet to attempt to contact me. Is this just because she's rebounding, or should I not expect her to ever try to contact me? She's pretty stubborn and last time we talked she pretty much acted like she hated me. Who the **** is this devil woman! You have been too needy at some stage, probably when u were together. If you do need your stuff then just go get it. If you can do with out it then continue to blank her, she will eventually contact.
Author SlawKing Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 Ok, wow. It's obvious she's avoiding me now. I was just on Xbox live playing Black Ops with my best friend and she came online. Within fifteen seconds she deleted me from her friends list. I hadn't even said anything to her and didn't plan to. It's kinda funny too though. She was playing Hexic HD. She only does that when she's depressed. Someone must not be happy.
Perhaps Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 This is what you do: Ignore your urge to see the dog. Ignore her. I give it a month, at most. She will contact you. Besides, unless it's something VERY important of yours that she has, I suggest you not worry about what's left at her place and just move on. Women like her live off the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of you - and by going NC, you deprive her of that nectar.
Author SlawKing Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 I've been fighting the urge quite well for a while now. It's hard not being able to see my dog. He's basically my child and to go from spending every day with him to not seeing him at all for a month has been really hard. I just wish she'd be more mature about this.
hoping2heal Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 My Ex and I had been together for almost four years. We got a dog together about a year ago and have been raising him together. For a few months before the actual breakup she seemed to be pulling away from me emotionally and refused to talk about our problems without starting a fight. We were still friendly during the breakup process. A few weeks after we actually broke up she invited me over for drinks. We both had a little too much to drink and she came on really strong. We wound up making love that night. I couldn't spend the night because I had work in the morning and my work clothes were at my house 45 minutes away. When I went to leave she begged me not to crying that she didn't want to be alone. The next day she claims that she doesn't remember anything that happened and it only happened because of the alcohol. Then, just two days after that night, she starts dating someone in one of her classes. After that she starts treating me like the devil and won't let me see the dog because it's, "just an excuse to stay in her life." I've been in relatively no contact for about a month now (I quantify that because I had to send her an email, which she didn't respond to, asking if I could have my stuff back that's still at her house) and she has yet to attempt to contact me. Is this just because she's rebounding, or should I not expect her to ever try to contact me? She's pretty stubborn and last time we talked she pretty much acted like she hated me. Sounds like she used you for some comfort when she felt lonely. She is probably right about the alchohol. I'm sure she DOES remember, but. I know people think alchohol just makes the truth come out. That isn't always the case. It does lower your inhibitions so you may feel more free to say something on your mind, or more free to indulge what's on your mind for right now. She's seeing someone else and it looks like she's worried ties to you will just end up causing probs with the new guy, and she does not want to lose him. Go back to NC.
Author SlawKing Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 Sounds like she used you for some comfort when she felt lonely. She is probably right about the alchohol. I'm sure she DOES remember, but. I know people think alchohol just makes the truth come out. That isn't always the case. It does lower your inhibitions so you may feel more free to say something on your mind, or more free to indulge what's on your mind for right now. She's seeing someone else and it looks like she's worried ties to you will just end up causing probs with the new guy, and she does not want to lose him. Go back to NC. It wasn't so much that she slept with me as much as it was about how she was terrified of being alone and then jumped into a relationship two days later. That's just unhealthy. Also I realize that she's probably acting this way because she's afraid of messing it up with this new guy, but that doesn't make the way she's acting acceptable. She should have had a lot more class during this breakup.
Author SlawKing Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 Ok here's a different question. She hasn't responded to my email concerning my stuff. What should my next step be in getting my stuff back?
Damaged23 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 Ok here's a different question. She hasn't responded to my email concerning my stuff. What should my next step be in getting my stuff back? Why don't you ask a friend to go and get ur stuff for you? that way, u get ur things and she can' say it's just an excuse to stay in contact with her. Prove to her and most importantly to urself that the reason why u've been asking her to give you ur things is bc u really need them and not bc u wanna see her. God Luck, and stay strong!
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