She Thinks I've Cheated...

[ALEXGORDON]

Guys.. I need a lot of help.. I'll split this all up so it can stay a bit organized, since it's long. I posted this in another forum but after a while I came here because I wasn't getting a lot of replies.. So here we go.

 

My Girlfriend, Tanna:

Her name is Tanna, and she's the most incredible girl I've ever met.. I'm always thinking about her and how mind-blowing she is, how she's so unlike any other girl out there and so damn special that she could have any guy she could ever want. Just being with her makes me feel like the luckiest guy on the planet. Anyway, we've been together for a little over seven months now and I have loved every single minute of it. I really think she's the one, and I'm so ****ing deeply in love with her.

 

Her Bestfriend, Amanda:

She lives with my girlfriend, they're closer than a lot of sisters, and well, she doesn't like me very much. That's all I can really say about her considering I really don't know her much at all. We've only talked briefly a couple times.

 

The Problem:

Amanda told my girlfriend that I cheated on her with her, and..... She believes her..

Thing is, I didn't cheat.. AT ALL.

 

How it went down:

Well, last night Amanda told my girlfriend that a few months ago (I question why she's JUST saying something about it to my gf) me and her were talking on Facebook's IM chat and I gave her a bunch of hearts and **** in our conversation. WHICH IS COMPLETELY FALSE.. I swear not one bit of that is true. But of course, them being so close, my girlfriend ends up believing Amanda over me..

 

Now I'll be honest, when she didn't believe me, that really caught me off guard and hurt a lot.. Because we've spent a large amount of our relationship talking about how we're the only people in this ****ed up world that we can truly trust. So hearing her believe Amanda over me really made my heart sink..

 

After struggling to put that past me, I asked her why she would believe that.. She told me that if it was anyone else saying that, she would believe me instead, easily, but my girlfriend believes Amanda instead because she's like a sister to her, and that she has never lied to her before, and that Amanda swears on absolutely everything that what she's saying is true; also that unlike me, she has no reason to lie.

 

I tried countering that by reminding her that I've never lied to her either, and that I swear on absolutely everything that I never cheated on her. I also tried reminding her of how against cheating I am (I feel I'm more against it than most people), that if I were to ever actually cheat on her, I would come to her MYSELF and tell her about it, because the guilt of doing something like that would kill me. Not to mention, that if I ever cheated on her, I'd be so sickened with myself that I wouldn't think she should be with me, I'd be undeserving. And after saying that, I told her that's why I have no reason to lie either.. Because that would have gone against everything I stand for.. But still, unfortunately, she didn't believe me..

 

Eventually that night, she broke up with me.. :/ That's when things really got terrible.. The girl I love left me because she thinks I did something that I didn't even do.. IT KILLED ME.. I tried asking her to imagine what she's doing if I was actually telling the truth, and that she's destroying our entire future.. I asked her how she would feel if she found out I was telling the truth.. and she said, "I would.. feel really bad, apologize.. a lot.. Think that I'm incredibly stupid for breaking up with you, and laugh at how .. I'm crying. I wouldn't be able too forgive myself for putting you through this even for the first minute.." but then she just followed up after saying that, by saying "but you did cheat..so..".

 

So there I was again, pleading to her that I really didn't, but guys, no matter what I tell her, no matter how much I promise her, no matter how many things I swear on, she doesn't believe me.. And it hurts so much..

 

Anyway it's been like that for a while. But fast forward from last night to tonight, we were doing more talking, and you could tell that she wishes she was wrong about things (she is, she just doesn't believe it), and she wishes that she could just believe me.. But I ended up asking her to take me back, to trust me that I'm telling her the truth and have hope that I can prove it to her. So she did.

 

Now I'm here, asking you guys because I'm completely desperate :/ How the hell can I prove such a thing? I swear I never cheated on her, that's a fact. But she's not believing my words, and me and Amanda's conversation on facebook was on it's Instant Messanger so the conversation wasn't saved.. I really have no idea how to prove I'm being honest with her, and I really, really don't wanna lose this girl who means absolutely everything to me.. Tanna is my world and I would never, ever do something so horrible to her, and I just wish she would come to that realization.. Because I thought that was obvious before last night.. :/ So guys.. suggestions? Please.. Help me prove to her she's wrong..

 

 

Also: Side-note.

I said I didn't know much about Amanda and that's true. But I do know my girlfriend inside and out, and I know she wouldn't make her best friend some cold hearted liar. I said Amanda doesn't like me, and that's true, but I don't think she would go as far as to lie to Tanna and try to break me and her up.. I really hope that isn't the case.. I actually believe that Amanda may have me confused for someone else, or something of that sort where she THINKS I was doing something when I really wasn't and she's just completely mistaken..

 

Also this has apparently happened before with a couple of my girlfriend's ex's. Where they have hit on Amanda while being with her? I guess? Which completely sucks for me because now I get grouped in as just one of those guys even though I never did that.. :/

 

 

HELP, EVERYONE.. HELP.. How can I convince her?

[ALEXGORDON]

I can't just move on.. She's been the perfect girl in my eyes since the day I met her, she makes me happier than I've ever been. That's why I need to convince her, I can't just give up on something like that..

 

Plus I absolutely hate cheating, I'd hate to continue to be known as a cheater in her mind. :/ I hate it now, it kills me

[AverageJoe]

Why do you want to convince her? She chose her best friend over you. =/ It seems pretty clear that she will believe Amanda over you no matter what you say. I would move on.

 

This.

 

 

She is perfect at accusing you of something you didnt do. What will be the next accusation?

 

So you think this is the best you can ever do? She is insecure. Kick her through the uprights and move on.

If you cant, the problem lies with you, not her.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I can't just move on.. She's been the perfect girl in my eyes since the day I met her, she makes me happier than I've ever been. That's why I need to convince her, I can't just give up on something like that..

Plus I absolutely hate cheating, I'd hate to continue to be known as a cheater in her mind. :/ I hate it now, it kills me

 

Amanda's story makes no freaking sense. Why would send her a bunch of hearts and crap? Why?

 

Also... if it was true... Amanda should be able to back it up by showing her chat-log with you!

[ALEXGORDON]

Amanda's story makes no freaking sense. Why would send her a bunch of hearts and crap? Why?

 

Also... if it was true... Amanda should be able to back it up by showing her chat-log with you!

 

I agree that it just makes no sense.. Cheating disgusts me and I'd never do that to any girl, especially not to someone who's so special to me..

 

And no dude, this was on Facebook's instant messenger chat. That doesn't save the chat log. That's why this is so hard to prove to her :/

[ALEXGORDON]

Have you thought about confronting Amanda with your gf there? I would totally call the b it ch out.

 

Did you actually talk to Amanda on FB chat? Or did she make that up?

 

I really did talk to her, but it was a short conversation and it was the first time I ever talked to her. It was basically just 'the best friend meeting the boyfriend', and the entire time I was talking to her, the conversation was just about how special Tanna is to me and how I've never been so amazed by a girl before. That's all the conversation was. I didn't cheat on my girlfriend or anything, that's pure bull****..

[Mad Max]

If that were me, I would not take my GF back even if she found out the truth. She immediately sided with Amanda and didn't listen to a word you said.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I agree that it just makes no sense.. Cheating disgusts me and I'd never do that to any girl, especially not to someone who's so special to me..

And no dude, this was on Facebook's instant messenger chat. That doesn't save the chat log. That's why this is so hard to prove to her :/

 

No Facebook IM DOES save the chat!!! I know that for fact. That is what helped me catch my cheating x/GF.

 

It's just really hard to access the bloody thing.

 

http://morisy.com/how_log_and_pull_your_facebook_chat_history

[spice4life]

"Also this has apparently happened before with a couple of my girlfriend's ex's. Where they have hit on Amanda while being with her? I guess? Which completely sucks for me because now I get grouped in as just one of those guys even though I never did that.. :/ "

 

 

It sounds like she needs to get rid of her friend Amanda. Seriously, she has broke up with other guys because they hit on her friend??? It sounds like her friend Amanda is jealous of her and is wrecking her relationships on purpose. That's what it looks like from what you are posting.

 

Have you confronted Amanda about this accusation in front of your girlfriend??? If not, I would if I were you.

 

It totally sounds like Amanda is manipulating your girlfriend. The question is, do you want to be with someone who is so easily manipulated by her friends?

[EricaH329]

If I were in your position, I would have a conversation with the both of them at the same time in person. Things should get sorted out that way. If not, and if your girlfriend still wants to believe Amanda, then as much as it would hurt, I would walk away. There isn't anything you can do to make your girlfriend believe you after that.

 

Edit: I also find it a bit bizarre that after Amanda 'admitted' to hooking up with you, your girlfriend forgave her but will not forgive you. Something doesn't add up. Between Amanda making herself look bad, and your girlfriend forgiving only her.

Edited December 6, 2010 by EricaH329

[KraftDinner]

I believe this to be a fact: Amanda is jealous of all of Tanna's relationships, and makes up stories about them hitting on her to get rid of them so she can have Amanda all to herself.

 

That seems super-apparent by what you've written.

 

So Amanda's a jerk... and Tanna's frankly stupid to have her as a best friend and to be so gullible as to believe her.

 

And to be honest, if my boyfriend sent another girl a bunch of hearts on IM, I'd be like, "What the ****" and I think I'd kind of just move on... it's hearts, it's not snapshots of your penis. (But I'm pretty forgiving.) CLEARLY -- Tanna is NOT as into you as you are into her. If she really cared about you she could move past this.

 

You are being given a gift -- you know where you stand with her. Unfortunately it's not anywhere good.

[hoping2heal]

Amanda sounds like a tard. An amazing, mind blowing she-tard. Breaks up with you over accusations of facebook hearts? W-t-f? Is this the 4th grade?

[EricaH329]

Wait a minute, I think I may have misunderstood. Is she accusing you of cheating, or of sending hearts over IM? Because the two are completely different...

[youngskywalker]

She is insecure. Kick her through the uprights and move on.

If you cant, the problem lies with you, not her.

 

This.

 

If she's insecure chances are she's always going to be that way. I had a g/f once that was always worried that I was cheating on her and she never had any reason to believe so. Trust me, it gets really old. Even if you convince her it will only be a matter of time before she becomes suspicious again.

 

If I were you I'd sit down with both these girls at the same time and find out what the hell is going on. I wouldn't take that kind of crap. Deal with it like you're going to kick some @ss or just run from this girl as far as you can. I'll put up with a lot of crap in a relationship but NEVER lies and deceit either from her or her best friend who she's join at the hip with. Your relationship isn't just Tanna, it's Tanna and Amanda. That's the problem my friend.

 

Think of this too. Perhaps, your g/f is trying to get rid of you and is making up an excuse. It's happened before. Not saying it's the case with you but you should consider it.

Edited December 6, 2010 by youngskywalker