jms5777 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 So my wife and I have for the past six months had issues. We have been married almost seven years and have two kids. Since we have been married we have both been able to make alot of money and things were always great. We both got married very young but never seemed to be a problem. More recently after starting a new business that has had a few challenges things have gotten very bad. I had to travel to start the business and spent 5 days a week on the road. In the last 60 days we have been able to see each other everyday but the problems got much worse. She has been going out with "co-workers" 3 to 4 times a week and stays out till 2am or later. She acts as though this is exceptable behavior and I am being controlling. When this happens it of course causes a fight and we both do things out of anger. She now says Im smuthering her and it has gotten so bad that we are going to see a couselor and I have had to move out for the time being. I dont know what to do? I am trying to fix and show her I love her but I feel like she has lost interst in me. It has only been a short time we have been fighting but I feel its gotten really bad fast. Why does she insist on going out to the bar when it is causing so much trouble between us?
Surfer203 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 My wife did the same thing.. watch out for this! My wife starting going dancing her friends.. she does not drink but still would stay out late 3-4 AM and one night they came home at 7 AM. Totally unnacceptable. Her friends with her with her so I know she was not out cheating but this behavior led to her detaching from me and living a more exciting independent lifestyle. She is now gone, been gone for 1.5 months and is doing whatever the F she wants with another guy. Be careful. Call her on what she is doing and make sure there isn't any funny business going on. Also, if you want things to work between the two of you - now is the time! Don't wait any longer have open communication and address your problems.
westrock Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Be prepared to drop or sell the new business.The new business is not worth it if it has caused so much stress on your relationship and your family. Your family has to take priority over business.
2010_Sorry Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Yes, your wife is showing all of the signs of beginning an affair. I did this a few years ago with my husband, it was completely out of character for me. Surfer is right, now is the time to act. Looking back to my situation, I would suggest doing something now. Don't be the nice, sweet man that you feel you need to be to save your marriage. You need to tell her that you love her, but will no longer tolerate her behavior and if she continues to do this, ask her to leave. Do not waiver on this. From experience, your wife will keep you in a state of limbo for months if not years if you do not put your foot down now. If she decides to leave, then start no contact immediately. Never beg, never negotiate.
Surfer203 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Wiser words never spoke 2010 Sorry. I should have started NC right away and stuck to it. It would have had much more impact than trying to win her back. What a waste of time - too late at that point. Act now!
fltc Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Why does she insist on going out to the bar when it is causing so much trouble between us? Because that's where she's meeting the guy she's screwing now? Your situation sounds exactly like so many others here, I have to wonder if she's found someone else....
What_Next Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Listen to what is being said here! Listen to it! Research the 180, follow it. Then tell her honestly and openly that her behavior is not acceptable as YOUR WIFE and if it continues the option exists for her not to be YOUR WIFE!
Donewrong Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 I hate to say this but from experience of being the cheater - she is having an affair. If you want to save your relationship..confront her now!!! Don't wait. She needs to know that you know. Set some ground rules-tell her if she stays, no more girls nights out! Do it now!!!
Ballerfamily Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 I put up with this for 20 years. Confront and address this now. It will save you so much grief and pain. Mix alcohol with this, and its a mixture of disaster. Stand up for your marriage now. She would never condone this from you. Putting oneself in this situation long enough, and a doormat husband like me, and (5) affairs and 20 years later, the bitterness and resentment you wll have will be unbielievable. Nip it now. If she doesn't stop, its time for a stand. Anyone who is married, should never accept this. The bars are nothing but trouble after 9 pm for MW. If you stand up now, you will most likely knock her out of this party fog, or show her the door. If it doesn't, you have saved yourself a lifetime of misery, second guessing, wondering what she is up to, following her, sleepless nights, worrying about DUI's, and on and on.
Ballerfamily Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 (edited) And I think about the time my ex thought she was a golf widow. I golfed once a week, with men. This equated to partying till early morning, at bars and socializing with a co-ed crowd at least 3 times a week. Can you think of a better breeding ground for infidelity. And I should add, happy hour from 4-7. And who the hell whats to be married to a party girl without you being there with her. Its ok once in a great while, as with the men. But is still completely different in the way a bar treats women, and men. MW drinking and partying at a bar, is like a fox in a henhouse. Just read the threads of OM who prey on these easy targets. Edited December 7, 2010 by Ballerfamily
UofLCards Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 My SO started this about 2-3 years into our relationship. Me being stupid, thought there was no harm in it if it was only every once in a while. THAT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE!! She now is a wreck. That is all she wants to do is go to bars and drink. Every night. In the meantime she has gotten 2 DUI's and 2 AI's and has been seeing another guy for a little over a year from what she told me. END THIS NOW, if you want to save your marriage.
Recommended Posts