michee Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Okay found out that MM has people he IM's with but he told me he didn't. I asked him why he lied about it. Wow it's amazing when you confront the MM about lying and how they fly off the handle saying you are pshyco and crazy. Instead of asking normal questions...it instantly goes from 0-100 and so this tells me how he would react if there was a DD. I mean wow..why did I trust this guy.
spice4life Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Defensive reaction is a sign of guilt as they say. If it wasn't an issue he would have been more indifferent in his reaction. So were they other OW's he was IMing with?
Author michee Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 I don't know if he ever saw anyone in person. We met on a famous website for cheaters. Anyways one of the IM users that I found was also on that site. It is a huge blow and sucks
fooled once Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I am sorry that you are upset, but he has shown his true colors. Instead of admitting and possibly apologizing for lying, he turns the tables and starts attacking you. He is showing you who he is. If you have wondered if there is a future with him (not sure of your story), he is showing you how untrustworthy he is.
bentnotbroken Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 MM= lying to his wife. So why is it he is expected to be truthful with the woman he is cheating on his wife with? He has shown to be a pro at lying yet he is supposed to exhibit some unexpressed virtue of telling the truth. Not likely.
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 We met on a famous website for cheaters. Men on sites like that rarely talk to just one woman on there. It is unfortunate that you trusted him - the heart can blind us to a good many truths about people.
jsb58 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 That site is for cheaters. That is what he was doing. All considered, the expectation of exclusivity is foolish. Are you married?
EricaH329 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I mean wow..why did I trust this guy. Drumroll please... MM= lying to his wife. So why is it he is expected to be truthful with the woman he is cheating on his wife with? He has shown to be a pro at lying yet he is supposed to exhibit some unexpressed virtue of telling the truth. Not likely. This. Times a thousand. Now you can only get a mere glimpse into what his wife must feel (or will feel, after she finds out about you and all the others). I've never quite understood how someone can trust another, who is blatantly lying to a person they 'love' and 'care about'. I am sorry you are dealing with pain, I can relate to feeling betrayed. But this one you walked right into.
Author michee Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 I agree that why the hell would he be honest with me when he isn't with his wife. I understand...love the wisdom you are giving..bring on the 2 by 4's. His latest to me is that I am being nagging....stubborn. Please give me advice on what to say to him. He is so good at throwing it back in my face.
EricaH329 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 His latest to me is that I am being nagging....stubborn. Being nagging and stubborn doesn't begin to compare to being a liar/cheater/manipulator. I'd tell him that, and then walk away. You will find yourself in a lot more of these situations if you stick around. Nothing healthy will come of this, for either of you.
bentnotbroken Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I agree that why the hell would he be honest with me when he isn't with his wife. I understand...love the wisdom you are giving..bring on the 2 by 4's. His latest to me is that I am being nagging....stubborn. Please give me advice on what to say to him. He is so good at throwing it back in my face. What to say....Kiss my azz as I am walking away from this crap. Lying, cheating, punk moves and somebody is being stubborn. He is stubbornly pitiful and in need of a serious jolt of spine juice.
jsb58 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I agree that why the hell would he be honest with me when he isn't with his wife. I understand...love the wisdom you are giving..bring on the 2 by 4's. His latest to me is that I am being nagging....stubborn. Please give me advice on what to say to him. He is so good at throwing it back in my face. Advice on what? I ask again, are you married too?
awkward Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Michee, I'm so sorry that you're hurting. But I'm glad for you that you've discovered that he is in fact a liar. Hopefully you will use this information wisely. This is who he is, please don't forget that. What should you say to him? NOTHING. Absolutely nothing.
whichwayisup Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 He has a wife already and doesn't want another one, which is why he has an OW, probably lots of them by the sounds of it. He is a cheat, a liar, an ahole too. So, why bother even sheddin a tear over this guy? He isn't worth it, move on and be glad it's over. How much time did you invest in him?
whichwayisup Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 That site is for cheaters. That is what he was doing. All considered, the expectation of exclusivity is foolish. Are you married? You need to be honest here, it's online support and don't leave out important details when you post. You aren't just the OW who was lied to and feeling hurt, you're a MW, cheating on your husband and betraying him having an affair. Focus on your H, go to counselling and fix things or divorce. Don't even give the MM a second thought, he's not worth it as I said before.
EricaH329 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 You need to be honest here, it's online support and don't leave out important details when you post. You aren't just the OW who was lied to and feeling hurt, you're a MW, cheating on your husband and betraying him having an affair. Focus on your H, go to counselling and fix things or divorce. Don't even give the MM a second thought, he's not worth it as I said before. Oh geez, I hope that isn't the case. If it is, then I can't imagine how (or why) the OP would be upset that MM is lying to her, when she is doing the same thing to her H.
whichwayisup Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Oh geez, I hope that isn't the case. If it is, then I can't imagine how (or why) the OP would be upset that MM is lying to her, when she is doing the same thing to her H. With 4 posts and 3 of them on here, I just checked back and read it on another thread. Just isn't right to tell one's story and leave out important details like that. Sure it may sway advice but this OP now needs to look at her own behaviour and not point the finger so much at her MM. Sorry Michee, don't mean to make you feel bad. I hope you're able to work through this and whatever happens, divorce, or stay married.
EricaH329 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Sure it may sway advice but this OP now needs to look at her own behaviour and not point the finger so much at her MM. Oh wow, yes, that does change things. If I had known that, I wouldn't have posted at all. And I fully agree, the OP needs to focus on what she is doing to other people, as opposed to what they are doing to her. Once a person stops disrespecting others, only then will others have respect for them. You can't hurt others and expect not to get hurt in return. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that.
bentnotbroken Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Yes, I am married as well. Doesn't change my response it only adds to it....get a grip. You aren't doing anybody any good with the actions you are taking. I do so dislike not having a vital part of the puzzle.
jthorne Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I agree that why the hell would he be honest with me when he isn't with his wife. I understand...love the wisdom you are giving..bring on the 2 by 4's. His latest to me is that I am being nagging....stubborn. Please give me advice on what to say to him. He is so good at throwing it back in my face.You only have a handful of posts, but they remind me of this person. Maybe they can help you... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t237818/
Dexter Morgan Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Okay found out that MM has people he IM's with but he told me he didn't. I asked him why he lied about it. Wow it's amazing when you confront the MM about lying and how they fly off the handle saying you are pshyco and crazy. he is lying and cheating on his wife...what was the first clue he was a liar? or did you simply want to ignore that fact while you were getting what you wanted? Instead of asking normal questions...it instantly goes from 0-100 and so this tells me how he would react if there was a DD. I mean wow..why did I trust this guy. again, you tell us. he is a cheater, that should have tipped you off right there. and yes, he is a total jerk...but since you are an accomplice to hurting someone else in real life, you really aren't in a position to make that call without being a hypocrite.
whichwayisup Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Yes, I am married as well. Okay, so what now? What do you want to do next? Fight for your marriage, fix it, reconnect with your husband or continue to lust and chase after a MM?
phillyfan Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I don't know if he ever saw anyone in person. We met on a famous website for cheaters. Anyways one of the IM users that I found was also on that site. It is a huge blow and sucks Dude seriously you met on a famous website for cheaters and now u r surprised that he is cheatin on u? That is like being surprised u r wet when it rains.
Author michee Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 yes..agreed....with all of your posts...when you are in the affair..rational goes out the window...and you believe what the AP say's. not much else to say.
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