11 months and one day of dating... We broke up.

[justletgox51]

Last Friday, my ex-boyfriend and I of 11 months, and one day broke up. Throughout our relationship we had mini fights, mini break ups but it always worked out in the end in a day or two. However, it has been a week already and I tried talking to him, apologizing to him, going to his locker after school to apologize and ask him to come back to me. But nothing worked.

 

You see, our break up was caused because of me. Our school is self-directed so we can meet younger and older grades, and we'd all work in one big department say, the English department where students work on English and you're English teachers will either be in the department, or wait for the next period for them to come. Anyway, me and my ex went to English together so that I could work on my essay while he does grade 10 English applied. I'm in grade 10 too, but I take academic, while he is in grade 11. He's very behind in his courses, and credits because he's taking 2-3 courses that are grade 10 instead of grade 11. Anyhow, it was all perfect until one of his friends (grade 11 taking university English) came up to him and asked if he could read his tragic story which was based by the move, "A Walk to Remember." My ex-boyfriend read the story, and I also read his friend's story. Until his friend told him, "You're so slow! It's only a page!" I agreed to him but in a joking way telling my ex, "Yeah ______, you're so slow!" And I was just honestly joking around because he was playing the game too telling me, "'Cause you're talking to me right now!"

 

After he read the story, he didn't even get it and the period was done. We got out of English and that's when he told me, "I felt dumb back there." I asked why, and it was because I agreed to his friend that he was a slow reader. I swear to the Holy Bible that I was just making fun of him, in a nice way. I always do regarding anything even with school! But he told me, "Well I took that seriously." Until I sensed he was mad at me and I guess I overreacted because I ran away from him and went downstairs to his locker to get my gym stuff since his locker was near the gym. My best friend saw me and I guess that was part of why I ran away since she just yelled, "What's wrong?!" and I didn't want to talk about it... Plus, I ran away because whenever my ex gets mad he'd slam lockers, rip out posters at school and it scares me to death. He already did it twice 2 months ago, and I'm amazed by how I survived both of them.

 

Anyhow, I ran away from my best friend and my ex, until I got to his locker. He asked me, "What's going to happen now?!" He held me really tightly on my arms, and I just broke down into tears that I did not feel ready to answer his question. What he did after was he left, slammed lockers in and called me a, "****ing ****!" in front of students going to gym and a teacher. After that, he came back telling me we were done. Officially done. Sigh. </3

 

After gym it was lunch, and I asked if we could talk about it. At lunch we both cried, but in the end he told me I couldn't be his girl friend anymore. He was tired of the fights, and after 11 months... Sigh. </3

 

However, what makes me feel so bad about myself is that last week I kept going to his locker and we'd talk. One time I was feeling so happy and laughing and I saw him sad, I asked him, "What's wrong? Be happy! :)" And he told me, "You're smiling, and laughing... You're moving on..." I told me, "No, I'm not... Pinky promise" We pinky promise and we hug until after school, he kissed me. However, after a few hours after he gave me that kiss, he got pissed off at me on FB that he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. The next day, I went to his locker to get my EMU boots that I always leave in his locker, and he saw me alone. I was still depressed and saw me depressed. he gave me a hug, apologized to me, he wanted me back, kissed me, and wanted me to fight for him. He also called me babe when I was going up the stairs to my next class. However, after school he got mad at me again saying it just won't work out anymore. He called me 'babe' by accident, and he kissed me because I wanted it? UGH. :'( I didn't even ask for anything. He also told me that he's never going to do that anymore... Because I kept asking him, "What was the kiss for then? WHY did you kiss me?!" The next day, I did the same thing again which was I went to his locker, we'd talk, hug it out, and he'd again get mad at me after school because I should just leave him alone.

 

And last Thursday, I heard from people that he's been flirting, touching, and hugging other girls... You guys can guess what I did again. After school before leaving school, I went to his locker and asked, "I heard from people that you're flirting, hugging, and touching other girls.... I see you've moved on already. Did you?" He told me that he just wants to be happy, he didn't move on yet but he will. I asked to be together again, he told me no... He said he already told his parents and friends that he's never coming back for me... Plus he's behind in his courses (like what I mentioned). however, he said he might come back 3 years from now... We hugged it out, made a promise to celebrate my birthday at a restaurant near our school for my birthday this Monday, and the last thing I said, "I thought you'd keep your promise of staying together, 'forever and always.'" He told me, "Remember when I said, it's only you who can change my love for you? Well, you changed everything."

 

SIGH. :'( I talked to him yesterday telling him, "I miss you and I still love you..." However, he told me, "About the promise of going to (restaurant's name here) we're not going. I don't want you to feel something and i don't want to hurt you anymore." I told him, "But you promised! You said even dining out as friends!" Until he told me, "Since you think I break promises, we're not going tomorrow, go eat with your friends there for your stupid birthday! Now leave me alone and give me my space!"

 

Ever since that... I just stopped talking. He broke his promise, and I'm not even sure about if he's going to keep the other promises we made. Sigh. I'm really hurt, and I haven't talked to him ever since yesterday morning. Today is Sunday, tomorrow is Monday-- my birthday... I'll be seeing him again in school hallways' probably flirting, hugging, etc... Sigh. What should I do? :'(

[justletgox51]

Anyone ever felt this way? :'( I just don't know what to do now...

[Arabella]

Honestly, reading all this, I can't even figure out what his deal is or what he even wants, but I will say this: Leave him alone.

 

He's told you clearly he doesn't want a relationship and all you're doing right now is hurting yourself and pushing him even further away.

 

Stop ALL contact. Don't go to his locker anymore to talk to him, and stop trying to hold him accountable to old promises that he made on the assumption that you were his girlfriend. Things change once you break up. For both your sakes, give him his space.

 

Only then, he will be able to see what he's missing out on. He might come back, or then again he might not, but if he doesn't, you will be well on your path towards moving on.

 

Best of luck,

 

A

[justletgox51]

Thank you for this advice and I am moving on. However, today is my birthday and I was so happy until we saw each other in the hallways. I ignored him when we saw each other, and he came running back, tapped me on my shoulders and told me, "I just want to say... happy birthday! :D" And my feelings came back... Ugh. After that, I asked him if he wanted to go to my locker after school... And he did. After school, he was acting like we were still together, saying "Happy birthday! Happy birthday!" was going to hug me behind, and we hugged. What he also did was kiss me as if we were still together?!?!? At that point, I was furious. He told me he kissed me because it was my birthday and that I wanted it? But I never even asked for one! And who gives a kiss on a girl's head, on the cheeks, near the lips???? If the two of them are not even together? I told him, "How come these others guys who greeted me didn't give me kisses??!?! After that, he said he takes it back and told me he is never going to talk to me ever again.

 

:'( :'( I already on my way to moving on... :'(

[justletgox51]

I hate him so much ! :'(

[justletgox51]

He deleted me on Facebook, the day on my birthday and kissed me unexpectedly (as his birthday present) but I honestly was shocked and not amused. He also told people that I wanted it but I didn't. I want to talk things out with him so badly, but people are telling me that he should talk to me first. However, he already deleted me on Facebook which means, "don't ever talk to me again." SOMEONE HELP.

[qinboxmail]

He deleted me on Facebook, the day on my birthday and kissed me unexpectedly (as his birthday present) but I honestly was shocked and not amused. He also told people that I wanted it but I didn't. I want to talk things out with him so badly, but people are telling me that he should talk to me first. However, he already deleted me on Facebook which means, "don't ever talk to me again." SOMEONE HELP.

 

He has anger problems. You shouldn't be with this guy or you'll get hurt more the future.

[Don_da_Ho]

Wow. He is obviously abusive and you are a co-dependent abusee or a drama queen or both. What should you do?? You should act like a mature, secure, confident WOMAN and dump his a$$ like a hot rock.

 

What's next, he's going to smack you in the face with his fist? Not only should you dump him, you should do some serious soul searching to find out why you're attracted to abusive guys. Or I guess you can wait until you're 38, divorced twice with three kids and try to figure it all out.

[justletgox51]

So, it has been 4 days now... He still hasn't talked to me ever since after my birthday (on Monday) and there are times where I just want to go up to him to say, "I'm sorry." I'm on my way to moving on, but I don't know why but I just miss talking to him... /:

[qinboxmail]

so, it has been 4 days now... He still hasn't talked to me ever since after my birthday (on monday) and there are times where i just want to go up to him to say, "i'm sorry." i'm on my way to moving on, but i don't know why but i just miss talking to him... /:

 

delete his number. Turn off the phone. And don't see him anymore.

[Don_da_Ho]

Focus on his bad qualities and learn not to be an abusee.

[justletgox51]

Well, I broke the NC because I talked to my ex today. Frankly, I am moving on because I have found someone who has a kind-heart, caring, and he is a musician who is the type of guy I am well attracted to. I guess, this musician boy has been helping me with my whines, and sadness about my ex.

 

As for my ex that I have mentioned on this post he is a basketball player, and from the beginning he was the nicest, caring guy who I never thought would get physical when he gets mad. However, I am not into sporty guys, well the musician boy also plays sports too which is fascinating. I will take things slowly this time and get to know this musician boy.

 

However, today I broke NC with my ex cos he was alone and I asked how he was, why he deleted me off Facebook and to be just friends from now on. He told me he deleted me off Facebook (on my birthday) because I was annoying, it is too early to talk right now or to be friends, to leave him alone, and yelled infront of students that I'm annoying and stupid. In addition to that, when I told him, "But you ruined my birthday..." He told me, "Well you have ruined all my days." Also, he told me how he was going to have a fight with this guy because of basketball. Ugh. It hurt for a bit because I thought he'd stop with all those fight things (and he did stop ever since we dated for a year, a month and a day). I talked about it to the musician boy and I felt at ease.

[Don_da_Ho]

You meet another guy that you're attracted to and you STILL go ahead and break NC and contact your Ex. Wow, you are a glutten for punishment. What you got from your Ex was exactly what I thought you would get. Sorry you had to be subject your Ex, but that should prove to you once and for all that he's a real jerk. STAY AWAY from your Ex and he will be less likely to bother with you.

[Arabella]

He told me he deleted me off Facebook (on my birthday) because I was annoying, it is too early to talk right now or to be friends, to leave him alone, and yelled infront of students that I'm annoying and stupid. In addition to that, when I told him, "But you ruined my birthday..." He told me, "Well you have ruined all my days."

 

He verbally abuses you every time you talk to him and yet you continue to come back for more.

 

Why do you continue to talk to someone who treats you like this?

 

Focus on the new guy and leave your ex be.

[justletgox51]

That is true... I just don't know why I wanted to talk to my ex. I just wanted to say to be friends and stuff, but I guess he told me it's too early to be friends or to talk. Also, I sent him messages on his Facebook telling him I'm sorry and the memories and telling him I already moved on. And he replied with, "Honestly leave me a lone!!!! Were done our relationship so who cares!! Alright don't piss me off" Ugh.

[justletgox51]

I have slowly started walking away (moving on) and yesterday my ex, asked my closest friends if I moved on already. He heard from people that I have moved on and asked my closest friends and even told one of my closest friends, "She's cute and I like her. Tell her that!" Ugh. In addition to that today, I just wanted to have peace with him since it'll be Christmas day soon. Btw, Christmas day of 2009 was when we were officially together. Sigh. :'( So, today I talked to him and asked, "Can we be just friends? It's Christmas time... " And he replied, "So, what?"

 

 

HELP!!! :'(

[nessaaa]

Girl, it seems like you both are playing mind games with eachother. Sounds like he wants you to keep begging, I mean, he did say that he wanted you to fight for him...but how much begging could you do really??--maybe that's not it. He doesnt want you!...but he doesnt want you to get over him---maybe not. You see how he's all worried that you moved on out of a sudden, keep it that way. If he really loved you, he wouldnt have broken up with you over stupid lil petty things.

[justletgox51]

The thing is, tomorrow is our Christmas break and therefore we have late start and then a Christmas assembly which is just half day...I'm planning on giving away all of my best friends Christmas cards and candy canes, and I was wondering if it will be good to give him (my ex) a Christmas card for the goodness of my heart? Without expecting anything. I'm just scared he might talk **** to my friends saying, "Why did she give me a Christmas card? What ex does that? blah, blah."

[justletgox51]

It's been almost 2 weeks of NC (except there were a week of NC (arguments and begging to come back, and 2 days in which I talked to him, and asking him questions of why he deleted me off Facebook on my birthday, in which he told me to leave him alone) and I feel like he doesn't even care anymore! :'( Yesterday was the last time I was able to see him before the Christmas break, and we just looked at each other in the eyes, in the hallways as if none of us has ever spoken to each other before. He asked one of my friends, "What were you and (insert my name here) talking about yesterday?" And my friend just said, "Why do you care?" And he replied, "I don't care." And she said, "ooo... okay!" And he replied, "whatever." Sigh. :'( He doesn't even care about me :'( He has deleted and blocked me off Facebook, and hasn't even APOLOGIZED for all the mistreatment I received from him with the verbal abuses. Sigh. It's almost our official one year on Christmas day, and the least he could do is say, "I'm sorry" sincerely. THIS IS SO HARD ! :'(

 

HEEEEEEEEEEELPPP!! :"(