Titania22 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 so what took 9 hours long? Lunch, walked across the city, 2 games of bowling, 3 games of pool, 3 games of air hockey, walking, dinner, and more walking to reach the complete other end of the city to where we started.
Author griffinchicken53 Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 Wow, that's cool. I can bowl
Titania22 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Wow, that's cool. I can bowl Yeah I thought so too. I don't think there has so be money spent on a date, but there are so many things out there that cost, and it adds up pretty quickly. On the bright side our 2nd and 3rd dates were at his place, where he cooked reasonably inexpensive meals and we drank tap water. So I guess the cost thing evened out a bit. I think maybe going to a cafe and seeing if you hit it off first. Because that is reasonably inexpensive and you can cut the date short if there is no chemistry.
hearttobreak Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Did you pay for anything? Or was the guy who spent 200.00 on everything?
Titania22 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Did you pay for anything? Or was the guy who spent 200.00 on everything? Well it wasn't quite $200, and I offered to pay for dinner, because I felt bad for hm spending so much. But he insisted. And then a few minutes later called me a cheap date because I wasn't drinking any alcohol.
Els Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Good to hear you two girls are coming off the hip with some dough on a date. Right? I did read that correct, didnt I? Don't quite get what you mean. What I meant was that if the guy wanted to treat me, the $5 coffee will do - in response to the OP's question. In response to what I think your question is, although I think you need to phrase it better - if he doesn't intend to treat me I'll also be happy to buy myself the $5 coffee. Geez.
alexlakeman Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Omg, you can't overspend on the first date! Nothing might come out of it and you've wasted all that $. When my fiancial condition is normal I will typically spend about $30 - $40 on a first date. This is in US dollars, btw. It keeps my ROI low. You figure 4 drinks x $6 is $24, tax / tip is $6 and u r @ $30, and if by chance you order an appetizer it shoots up to $40. I make it a very solid habit of not spending more than I normally would if we were dating later on. No sense spending $100 on a first or second date, if I can't afford that later on every week, $100 usd x 4 weeks, that's $400 per month; your CPL would go out of whack big time. I actually have a thread on the same subject, as I am actually taking steps to reduce my costs on first dates, ie go out for coffee. As for being unemployed, if she knows, she will understand if you can only take her out for a cup of coffee, just don't pick Starbucks, etc where a couple coffees might be $15+ lol.
Author griffinchicken53 Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 Hey Alex what is ROI? Cpl= cost per living
alexlakeman Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Hey Alex what is ROI? Cpl= cost per living Sorry, ROI ? Return on investment (what u spend on the date) and I wrote it backwards on my prior post. It has to be " keep ROI high) CPL is Cost Per Lay. The least you spend before you get laid with a particular woman the less the cost per lay.
denise_xo Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 CPL is Cost Per Lay. The least you spend before you get laid with a particular woman the less the cost per lay. :lmao: I'm kind of happy we go dutch where I live
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 So why would you wanna splurge money for nothing in return? This attitude is so offensive to me. "Nothing in return"? Was it a business proposition? He likes the woman. Maybe spending time with her and the pleasure of providing that is of value to him. Personally, I am fine with going "dutch," sharing expenses in all kinds of ways. I have a tremendously higher net worth than my partner. I own OUR home outright and I have assets (and, no, they were not acquired in a divorce settlement or otherwise attributable to any man). Still, Steve planned our first date. I was willing and very comfortable to meet him for coffee and to go "dutch" but he insisted on taking me out to a lovely dinner. Not only did he take me out to a lovely dinner, and pay for it, there was a basket of flowers and some keepsakes he'd collected on his recent road trip on the table for me when I entered the restaurant. I LOVED it. And, knowing my man like I do today, I know that if things had not worked out between us he would not have been whining, bitter or resentful of me because he'd sprung for a fabulous date for us. By the way, our first date ended with a kiss. To the bitter angry whiners - why not do yourself a favor and just have a "dutch only" policy. If the women you encounter don't go for this, clearly you are not compatible and you can just move on without wasting a moment on needless negativity against roughly 50% of your fellow human beings. Or, embrace a lifestyle that includes only other men.
creighton0123 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Good rule of thumb for a first date, depending on the weather, is something that involves a bit of movement. Physical movement makes for a date that goes places, rather than sitting in potentially awkward silence for a few minutes. This all depends on where you are. If you're in a big city, find a pedestrian area where there are food stands so you can grab something quick, places to walk and things to see for discussion sake, and potentially more private places to sit down and talk. All in all, this shouldn't run more than $30, a little more if you grab a drink. $100 is pricey unless you're going out at night. In talking with girls (I'm a few people's gay best friend), they trend towards being uncomfortable in blind date situations if the first meeting occurs at night.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I would have agreed with all of you. Which is probably why I was so shocked that the guy who asked me out and an online dating site spent between $100 and $200 on our first date. Of course it was 9hrs long, which I am sure wouldn't have happened if we hadn't been enjoying ourselves. But since then we talk every day for like 6hrs and he says "i am very important to him" (whatever that means). To be honest I have never known any guy to be so giving of his time. The point is if he had walked into that date with a set figure in his head, it would have ended alot earlier and we wouldn't have connected so well. Of course he also seemed more interested in actually making a connection then just getting laid and moving on. This. I don't think going into it with a set figure is wise. I'm not saying you should overspend, be aware of your budget but don't think all I'm prepared to pay is 'x'. I'd prefer to do something enjoyable rather than something expensive. If you don't have a lot of money, it's not a big deal. Coffee doesn't cost much, a picnic is good, heck you could really stretch your budget and find tons of things to do. I'm a student so I'd be happy with a cheap meal/drink and maybe a nice walk somewhere.
VertexSquared Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 My first dates have always cost around $40-70, but then again I live in NYC. Dinner can be pricey, but going to a local cheesecake/croissant shop can be relatively cheap and fun (<$10).
harmfulsweetz Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 This attitude is so offensive to me. "Nothing in return"? Was it a business proposition? He likes the woman. Maybe spending time with her and the pleasure of providing that is of value to him. Personally, I am fine with going "dutch," sharing expenses in all kinds of ways. I have a tremendously higher net worth than my partner. I own OUR home outright and I have assets (and, no, they were not acquired in a divorce settlement or otherwise attributable to any man). Still, Steve planned our first date. I was willing and very comfortable to meet him for coffee and to go "dutch" but he insisted on taking me out to a lovely dinner. Not only did he take me out to a lovely dinner, and pay for it, there was a basket of flowers and some keepsakes he'd collected on his recent road trip on the table for me when I entered the restaurant. I LOVED it. And, knowing my man like I do today, I know that if things had not worked out between us he would not have been whining, bitter or resentful of me because he'd sprung for a fabulous date for us. By the way, our first date ended with a kiss. To the bitter angry whiners - why not do yourself a favor and just have a "dutch only" policy. If the women you encounter don't go for this, clearly you are not compatible and you can just move on without wasting a moment on needless negativity against roughly 50% of your fellow human beings. Or, embrace a lifestyle that includes only other men. Totally agree. If you only pay for dates to get something i.e. laid, why not just hire an escort? I think it's nice when a man pays simply because he wants to treat his date like a lady, and make the evening special. If you don't want to pay in full, that's fine too-just be honest about that. For me, I have no issue with going dutch, just so long as it isn't awkward around the pay time. I've had dates turn up with no money before, which to me was ridiculous. Specially since it was HIS idea, and the restaurant of his choice, where only HE ate at. I had a drink and ended up paying for the lot. That was awkward because he took advantage of me, and assumed it'd be ok for me to foot the bill. I don't assume that on dates. I like to have my own money, and wouldn't think less of a man for wanting to split it. But it is nice for a guy to pay only if he wants to of course. The guys who pay in the hope of getting some may as well not bother, because they aren't doing it with the right intentions. That's not about making her feel like a lady, it's about making her feel obligated to do something for you in return.
2sunny Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 i like a man to take a walk and get ice cream or coffee -it's very inexpensive- but allows time to see if we get along -or not...
musemaj11 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 (edited) "Nothing in return"? Was it a business proposition? He likes the woman. Maybe spending time with her and the pleasure of providing that is of value to him. Exactly why Im trying to save him from his possible delusion. Chronic gamblers for example do take pleasure in spending their hard earned money on gambling tables. Does that mean no one should help them realize that they are throwing away their money? If he wanna give away money, then adopt an orphan. To the bitter angry whiners - why not do yourself a favor and just have a "dutch only" policy. Now I do have Dutch only/taking turns only policy. But I also wanna spread the message and save other men from self-delusion. Totally agree. If you only pay for dates to get something i.e. laid, why not just hire an escort? Thats what I was telling the guy. If he wanna spend tons of money on dates for nothing in return, then just hire escorts for more bang for the buck. A lot of escorts offer great company even with no sex involved for cheaper cost. I think it's nice when a man pays simply because he wants to treat his date like a lady, Of course its nice. Who doesnt like getting free stuff? I know I do too. Specially since it was HIS idea, and the restaurant of his choice, where only HE ate at. I had a drink and ended up paying for the lot. That was awkward because he took advantage of me, and assumed it'd be ok for me to foot the bill. He probably just got taken advantage of bad by some 'dinner whore' and he was retaliating at your expense. Its not a good feeling, wasnt it? I know how you feel. I have been used by a dinner whore once as well. But I would never do it to someone else because it hurt. That guy was low. Edited December 6, 2010 by musemaj11
DollWelch Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Dinner and a movie is a BAD first date. I couldn't agree more. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to steer your date away from a movie. I'd personally feel awkward; I'd be fighting the urge to get up and leave! (That's how neurotic I can be)
Author griffinchicken53 Posted December 6, 2010 Author Posted December 6, 2010 What about dinner, no movie and something else.
alexlakeman Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 Dude, FORGET dinner on the first date, period.. you are going to be talking and have food in your mouths, then what?? If you sit at the bar have some drinks the night can go as long or short as you want... I agree with everyone else, forget the movies the first few dates... it's pointless, you sit there next to each other with no conversation for two hours... what's the point?? Later on yes, of course. You can do drinks and , heck just drinks at a bar; go play pool, go bowling to one of those cool hip bowling places (strikes or strike zone here in the US) , they have music, very modern, alcohol is flowing... I like going to a wine tasting bar or a wine tasting event, could be a good first / second date... Just forget dinner and a movie; neither one
alexlakeman Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 My first dates have always cost around $40-70, but then again I live in NYC. Dinner can be pricey, but going to a local cheesecake/croissant shop can be relatively cheap and fun (<$10). That's interesting... I don't think we have those in Florida.. what age are we talking about? That's a factor as well.
alexlakeman Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 . The guys who pay in the hope of getting some may as well not bother, because they aren't doing it with the right intentions. That's not about making her feel like a lady, it's about making her feel obligated to do something for you in return. You took it out of context...I am the first to say that I rarelyyyyyyyyyyyyyy get sex on the first date; I am not going out for that on the first date; I am going out to seek a potential relationship; been like that for a while... BUT if I spend $100 on the first date only to find out there's no chemistry, that's a waste of $.. Now if $100 is not much for the guy, then fine, but for me and most people, I think, that is a significant amount of money to just waste on a first date.. GRANTED, I HAVE spent that much on a first date, at times inadvertantly (ie I end up going to an unknown part of town and end up in a pricey place) or on purpose (As I did back in Aug), I knew the date was not going more than the first date, but I felt like having fun that night, she was loads of fun, so we had drinks, had a bite to eat, then headed off to a wine bar till the late hours..... I expected nothing sexual but my ROI was good, as I had a blast, so not always sex, young lady! LOL
AverageJoe Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 The guys who pay in the hope of getting some may as well not bother, because they aren't doing it with the right intentions. That's not about making her feel like a lady, it's about making her feel obligated to do something for you in return. Dating = sex. That is what it ultimately boils down to, agree with it or not. I refuse to pay these amounts I see some of the guys on here pony up. I am not spending my hard earned money on anything unless there is a equal return in value. So, therefore I have thought of some clever and cunning ways to spend very little, to no money at all on a first date. Win win. Another poster here a while back coined it; The Gentleman's Tax. I couldnt agree more.
musemaj11 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 (edited) This is basically the illogic of most women: Man pays Woman, expects Woman to give nothing = Romance. Yes! Man pays Woman, expects Woman to give something = Business. No! Anyone with basic logical capability can see that there is something wrong with that equation. How about we switch around the equation: Woman gives Man sex, expects Man to spend nothing = Romance. Yes! Woman gives Man sex, expects Man to spend something = Business. No! According to the same logic/illogic, a romantic woman would give a man sex without him having to spend any money on her. Yes? Edited December 7, 2010 by musemaj11
Author griffinchicken53 Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 Age range roughly 28-34. I don't drink though. Take medication that kind of prevents it. Might look weird like I'm just getting her drunk.
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