my boyfriend's ex keeps on calling.

[bebek]

I've just started dating my boyfriend for 3 months now, and his ex had dated roughly on and off for 3 years, keeps on calling/texting him. He ignores her calls when i'm with him. One day, when I gave him a surprise visit, he was on the phone with her, and the sweet and soft tone of voice he was using he had never use when he's talking to me. As soon as he saw me, he told her he's gotta go, in a normal tone of voice. Last 2 nights, we went out to celebrate his birthday, he kept on telling me how much he cares about me, how much he likes me, and he knows how much of an ******* he's been to me. What does that mean? and yes his ex called last night, and he answered, "I'm driving now, I can't talk right now." and then later on, his ex texted him as I took a glance which I confirmed later when he left to the washroom with his friends. "Plz call me back, if you can't right now I understand. I need to talk to u, plz give us a chance." As we discuss many times before, they're over and done with, as he told me they won't get back together, too much on and offs, he's so sick of it. So I told him, if there's nothing more than just friends between the 2 of you, tell her to come out with us, at first he said, sure. and then later on each time I tried to ask him to invite her, he always tells me she's busy or she's in the states working. He told me that he havent spoken to her in a while, or return any of her texts. If that's so, how would he know she's busy. A month ago, he came to pick me up from work with his niece, as I ask what they did that day, she told me they were playing games, and Auntie C came over. I ask her who Auntie C was, and she told me "I'm not suppose to tell you this, but she's Uncle J's girlfriend." Which later I question him about what they did for the day, and skip telling me about this Auntie C coming over. So I ask him about this Auntie C and why his niece would say something like that. His answer was, Auntie C is his ex, and the last time he saw his niece he was still with his ex, and that she's too young probably confused. I was just going to leave it at that, until he burst out "and I thought you were mad cuz she told you I kissed her or something." hmmm... BUSTED?! What's he hiding from me? What should I do?

Edited December 5, 2010 by bebek

[california15]

I don't think he realizes how much it bothers you. Or he does realize and is a douche for continuing. Sit him down and tell him how much it bothers you. Really bothers you. I mean you don't want your future fiancee/husband still texting his exes right? Its just not appropriate or acceptable. Tell him and wait and see how he reacts. If he changes, he's serious about you. If he doesn't, then walk. He's obviously not ready for a great relationship with you. You deserve someone who is

[forrest]

bebek, he cheated on you and he constantly lies to you. You need to run, not walk out of this relationship.

[poorguy]

Wait a second-He's been a ******* to you and you've only been dating for three months? Like your not getting along at this point, taking the whole ex GF friend thing out of the equation???

[Kinder-Horror]

bebek, he cheated on you and he constantly lies to you. You need to run, not walk out of this relationship.

 

This was exactly what I was going to write.

 

STOP "leaving it at that."

You are choosing to let him lie to you even though you know he is lying to you - and (in the most respectful way possible) you are posting on here looking for some scrap of a reason to stay.

 

He is lying and most likely cheating... if it had been 10 years, I would say to walk away... it's been three months - RUN away.

[bebek]

so yesterday, I sat him down and had a talk and I asked him about the text, he didnt explain but called his ex infront of me and put it on speaker so I can hear the whole conversation. They were both laughing at me for thinking too much and explained there's nothing going on between them. She's back with her ex, and they're engaged. On top of that I missed my cycle, so I went to get a pregnancy test, and it came out negative at first, until I tried the 2nd one and it came out positive. I couldn't believe my eyes, I went out to buy 3rd one and it came out positive. At this point I was so scared I broke down in the washroom, apparently the door wasn't properly lock, and he walked in. He comforted me and calm me down. He said let's get marry, he wants to take good care of me and our baby, and he never meant to upset me. About the "ex" if it still bothers me, he'll stop contacting her. I explained, I don't want marriage over responsibility, it's not right. He told me to think about it, it's not just responsibility it's love. He did tried very hard to ask me out for 6 months before I decided to give him a chance. He sat me down on the couch next to him and he got on the phone with his parents and gave them the news, they all seem excited about it. Last night we went out for dinner with a couple of friends, and his ex show up with her Fiancee, my boyfriend and her seems like brother and sister. I don't know what to think now. I know this sounds all mess up, and I feel so crappy and confuse, right now. Oh, this morning, I guess he wanted to show me his commitment to marriage, he took me to the bank, and added my name onto his account, and told me I can now keep track of his finance, and spend away as long as I don't go on a shopping spree every week. I don't know, sounds too good to be true?!

Edited December 7, 2010 by bebek

[katbailey8]

Like someone said, RUN and RUN fast. I was in your shoes, stayed in the relationship, mioved to another state to move in with him, changed my entire life and he was a lying, cheating, dog... If he can't be honest with you about small things now then he won't be in the long run.

[DuskCrush]

Sounds like he is definitely lying to you.

Why is he talking to his ex so much?

You really should end this now!...this guy is toxic

[carhill]

Oh, this morning, I guess he wanted to show me his commitment to marriage, he took me to the bank, and added my name onto his account, and told me I can now keep track of his finance, and spend away as long as I don't go on a shopping spree every week. I don't know, sounds too good to be true?!

 

Since, apparently, you're not going to walk away from this toxic situation, I offer this:

 

Hey, spend his money having him followed and, if fruitful, contact the producers of Cheaters (TV show). Fifteen minutes of fame all on his nickel. Good luck

[bebek]

Since, apparently, you're not going to walk away from this toxic situation, I offer this:

 

Hey, spend his money having him followed and, if fruitful, contact the producers of Cheaters (TV show). Fifteen minutes of fame all on his nickel. Good luck

 

 

I was hesitating at first, but then I thought about it and decided to end this once and for all in the coldest way. It's been a busy week. I got him on a shopping spree for brand new furnitures and eletronics, he even got me a puppy I had my eyes on for the longest time, which is just the love of my live right now. He told me he had to work over time the other day, and I pretend I bought it. Only for him to come home from those "long hours" to realize, he's only left with an air mattress and 2 blankets.

 

The hottest love, has the coldest end.

[bebek]

Since, apparently, you're not going to walk away from this toxic situation, I offer this:

 

Hey, spend his money having him followed and, if fruitful, contact the producers of Cheaters (TV show). Fifteen minutes of fame all on his nickel. Good luck

 

 

I was hesitating at first, but then I thought about it and decided to end this once and for all in the coldest way. It's been a busy week. I got him on a shopping spree for brand new furnitures and eletronics, he even got me a puppy I had my eyes on for the longest time, which is just the love of my live right now. He told me he had to work over time the other day, and I pretend I bought it. Only for him to come home from those "long hours" to realize, he's only left with an air mattress and 2 blankets.

 

The hottest love, has the coldest end.

[poorguy]

Wow did you really!?!?! That's frickin awsome!!!

[tinktronik]

So what are you going to do about the pregnancy?

[aerogurl87]

I'm nnot buying it. And even if the OP's ex is a douche bag, it still doesn't give her the right to steal his furniture. I hate to say this, but I hope he takes you to court to reclaim everything you stole from him. That's right, what you did was theft and is punishable by law as the law doesn't take into account a woman scorned.

[bebek]

I'm nnot buying it. And even if the OP's ex is a douche bag, it still doesn't give her the right to steal his furniture. I hate to say this, but I hope he takes you to court to reclaim everything you stole from him. That's right, what you did was theft and is punishable by law as the law doesn't take into account a woman scorned.

 

 

lol me steal? really? That's only part of the story, you read. IF only he knew where the furnitures are. I said he was left with an air mattress and blankets but I didn't say where I took the furnitures to. I do still love him, yet I do start hating the things he did to me. I'm not mean enough to really take everything away from him. He should find out where they are tomorrow when he go over to his grandma's for dinner, which is only around the corner. I had a talk with his grandma, and his grandma talked with his parents, they were the ones who suggested all this, I just took their words for it. About the baby, I'm keeping it. I don't believe in abortions.

Edited December 15, 2010 by bebek

[artchick88]

He's not really hiding anything. He's still seeing his ex.

You should be the other woman, and never have a healthy relationship, or you should leave him.

Why would you want to be with someone who lies to you.

He's terrible at cheating. And yes.. he was BUSTED! when he said that thing about kissing her. Common girl, you have to leave this joke! Are you kidding me?

[whichwayisup]

He truly may like you..Alot,..but the fact is, him and his ex are far from over. Whatever they shared on and off in 3 years, isn't over and sadly, you can't compete with that.

 

Before you get hurt more, do yourself a favour and break up with him. He isn't ready to be with anybody new until the story is completely over with him and his ex..Seems she wants him back and he certainly is giving her the green light, though he is keeping you in his life .. As an option. NOT good.

 

End it and say goodbye..Call a good girl friend, have a cry over a bucket of icecream and chocolate cake.

[aerogurl87]

lol me steal? really? That's only part of the story, you read. IF only he knew where the furnitures are. I said he was left with an air mattress and blankets but I didn't say where I took the furnitures to. I do still love him, yet I do start hating the things he did to me. I'm not mean enough to really take everything away from him. He should find out where they are tomorrow when he go over to his grandma's for dinner, which is only around the corner. I had a talk with his grandma, and his grandma talked with his parents, they were the ones who suggested all this, I just took their words for it. About the baby, I'm keeping it. I don't believe in abortions.

 

I read what you wrote and believe me when I found out my ex boyfriend left me out of the blue to be with another woman I wanted to do much worse to him, but I didn't. If the stuff belongs to you, then no it's not stealing and that's fine. If it doesn't though, you should've left his stuff at his place, packed up your belongings and just left. Just because someone makes a suggestion doesn't mean you have to do it though.