amythan Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is currently living with his gf. He claims his relationship is perfect but he is having an affair, which last almost nine months. He told me that he is feeling very guilty. The thing which puzzles me is that he explained me that if his affair was just about f*cking (or a ONS) he would not feel guilty but that it is more than sex so he feels bad .. Is this normal ? Do people feel more guilty when feelings are involved ? Is this the same for women ?
anne1707 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Ofcourse its normal to feel guilty! What is not so normal is to feel no guilt if it just sex. Does your friend intend to continue the affair?
Author amythan Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 I guess he feels bad but he is hoping on the other girl to finish it, he is not going to do it. He is weak. I kind of understand him. If it is just sex, it means nothing but when you have feelings it becomes important. I think if it was me I would feel the opposite though.
anne1707 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 He is just being selfish - plain and simple. Do not give him the excuse of being weak. He is getting what he wants from two women and is showing no true respect or love for either of them. If he did, he would make a decision and end it either with his girlfriend or with the other woman. How are you going to feel now when you see his girlfriend? You are now part of this deception.
Author amythan Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 Well, I am his friend and also friend of the other girl ... I am not judging them. She is in love with him and he is just selfish. If his relationship was that great he would not do this, but he feels comfortable at home, he loves her and he feels safe. Also i think he has feelings for the other girl but he knows that feelings alone do not make a relationship. It seems to be a real mess.
anne1707 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Unfortunately your friend has put you in a very difficult situation. If his girlfriend finds out about the other woman plus finds out that you have known for sometime then you could well be in for some flak too. I am assuming your loyalties are with your friend and that you do not plan to tell his girlfriend from the sound of your posts. However you may want to consider setting some boundaries with your friend as to how much he involves you in this situation.
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