So here's a weird one...

[ResetInput]

Hello all!

 

First of all; English isn't my native language so bare with me. So here is my story...

 

I've been with this girl in an unofficial relationship for more than a year now. It started as f**k-buddies. She was crazy about me in the beginning but i paid no special attention to it (was almost annoying at times). One fight and quick make up later, things started getting a bit more serious from both sides. We started to have an awesome time together and it evolved into a relationship without the "official" stamp.

 

The feelings were mutual and it was going so well. Then it hit me like ton of bricks when she told me she was with a distant friend of mine. She said she wants to try with him. After that initial shock (almost puked) i got myself together and we started having a normal conversation about it. After trying to make her explain what its all about and why she did it things got really confusing for me. She started doubting her decisions saying: "I dont know if its worth f**king up this relationship", "I have a strange feeling i'm gonna get burned by this decision". From there it got to the what i now consider a standard issue: "I dont know what i want, i really dont" and "I have him in my head right now, because its new, but its a ton deeper with you" etc. Then i somehow "faced" it and told her as a friend to just go with the flow and try it: maybe it's gonna turn out great for her. It seemed like she was "the victim" at the end of the conversation (by that i mean she was more confused than i was). She told me she has to think about it and needs some time to clear her head. I wasn't very happy with this ofcourse as there was no real closure to it and it felt like she left me hanging.

 

I deleted all her contacts, phone number, e-mails etc. which feels quite liberating right now. But the thing that bothers me the most is that she didn't make a clean cut, but instead, left me hanging. Now i'm hating myself for silently hoping she ll get back and can't quite "let it go". The more i'm trying to figure all this out, the more confusing it gets.

 

I would like to think that she left me hanging so she can try that guy out and return later to me so she can use me as a "backup". In that case i would accept more easily that its just over or that she is just playing some nasty games with me. But since its a little bit more complicated with all the unofficial stuff, i dont get it.

 

Let me just say i ve been through a lot, but this was just 2 levels above everything else i ever felt. The feelings were stronger than in any 4 year relationship i ve had. I hope it makes sense. I would like to hear your interpretation of this situation. Thanks in advance!

 

RI

 

 

Edited December 5, 2010 by ResetInput

[jsb58]

You get what you give. You didn't give a care when she was crazy about you but you just wanted sex. Maybe she realized that you didn't have a lot of respect for her to treat her that way, and went looking elsewhere. You couldn't help it that she developed feelings for you, so now why is it her fault that you developed feelings for her too late in the relationship?

 

This is a risk you take with FWB's.

 

She is probably in a FWB with the new guy too. See who develops the feelings in that relationship. As you've seen yourself, feelings will develop. She is keeping you on the back burner until she finds out what's up.

 

People think FWB's are easy but they can become more complicated faster than real relationships. Move on with this one and rethink the FWB strategy in the future.

[ResetInput]

The thing is, we did clarify this together. It wasnt about FWB anymore and i let her know that clearly. We had a couple of really long sincere conversations about it. So it elevated from a FWB state and her initial crush to something deeper at the same time.

Edited December 5, 2010 by ResetInput

[dk.bnz.chi]

why did u stop puking? u were doing good there 4 a minute