TooAccepting32 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 My boyfriend of 4 mths invited me to his work Christmas party. He treated me like poop there and was really disrespectful. It was so bad I hoped to never see him again. I had enough so I excused myself and took a cab to meet a group of friends. I proceeded to get severely drunk (stupid and I'm not usually a drinker). Toward the end of the night one of my male friends asked me to dance and I did. It was a slow song. We did not make body contact or anything just hands on shoulders hands on hips. I've danced with him before as friends but I didn't have a bf. I then let another male friend drive me home which he usually did before I had a bf. We walked arm in arm to his car because I was wearing very high heels, and it was slippery. He dropped me off and that was that. I have to finalize a decision about whether or not I will keep my jerk boyfriend around after treating me like a non human... in the mean time the question I have is have I been unfaithful or is this betrayal? I know he wouldn't approve and frankly I dont approve. Usually I would never dance with someone else if I had a boyfriend, or walk arm in arm.. usually I would get a girl to drive me or take a cab. I wouldn't do anything that puts the other person in a position to have to question or doubt me. At the time it didn't seem like a big deal, just like old times hanging with my friends. When I woke up however I realized I technically danced and walked arm in arm with other guys.. Any insight for me? Thanks
EricaH329 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I think the first priority is talking to your boyfriend about why he treated you the way he did, and explain to him that it was unacceptable behavior to you. About the rest of the thread, you said it yourself that you don't approve of what you did. I always try to put myself in the other persons shoes. Would you like it if your boyfriend did what you did? I don't think it was the worst thing in the world, it could have been much much worse. But in my opinion, it was inappropriate given the fact that you are in a relationship with another man.
KraftDinner Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I'd say it's not a betrayal -- dancing and walking arm-in-arm...? I'd do those things with my father, so that's not romantic. I wouldn't feel like I was cheating if my boyfriend walked in and saw me doing either of those things. The bigger issue though is why your boyfriend treated you like poop.
imagine Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 If you think that it is a betrayal, it is. I'm sure that you would not want your boyfriend to have done the same. Discuss why he treated you so badly. After four months of relationship, you should feel cherished in his company. If not, he is using you. Get out!
i'm not the one Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 it sounds like you're feeling like the things you did with those guys were not innocent acts but done out of anger for how your boyfriend treated you... which is not a great reason to have done it. that being said, you could have done much worse. don't beat yourself up about it, but be careful not to do it again if it's going to make you feel guilty. and most importantly remember that you deserve a guy who doesn't make you feel that way in the first place!
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