Lostatnight Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I was going to post this under friendships, but I thought it might be better here - I have a friend who might be having a mid-life crisis - he says he is talentless, friendless, unsuccessful, and a loner - and to be honest, he is somewhat right, but I have been trying to help him by getting him to join outdoor clubs, etc. and meet people, but it doesn't seem to be working... Now, I am NOT posting this in regards to my relationship to him (he is not a whinger, nor depressing me, nor suicidal or anything, and doesn't stay at home moping around but I just don't know what else to say to him to try and help him Can anyone please suggest some ideas for me to suggest to him to help find a talent (he takes lots of classes and follows his interests, it's just that none of them ever seem to 'click' with him and keep his attention so that he sticks with it), and he is okay meeting people, not shy etc. but just doesn't seem to develop meaningful friendships (he's also single)... Anyway, thanks in advance
cdrqueen8 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 try to help him gain self confidence. remind him of his positives. suggest something that can make him feel good
michaelk Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 It's possible that your friend is like me - a bit of a 'dilettante'. I always need new interests and am not good an keeping long-term friendships going. I think a certain type of mind craves constant stimulation from new ideas, and has a hard time with human relationships because, frankly, they become boring. I try to deal with it by acknowledging that this is how I'm built, and I don't try to fight it too much. There are some fundamental things you just can't change. Keep making sure he has social opportunities. He will probably meet an occasional person who is stimulating enough to keep his interest. It may be only 1 in 100, but he'll never find them if he doesn't make the effort. Other than that, there's nothing wrong with taking a lot of classes or having a lot of different interests. Nothing says we have to find a single thing in life to occupy us. In some ways, it's advantageous to be a jack-of-all-trades. You can easily find something to talk about with almost anyone!
Author Lostatnight Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 Cool! Thanks Guys I'll try and encourage him in this... Thanks again!
mystical.one Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 In our area we have a group called "Events and Adventures" it's for single people. It's not to "meet" your next mate, but to get out and enjoy things you like to do with others who enjoy it as well. I think the web URL is something like eventsandadventures dot com
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