How do I make things right when it's all my fault?

[NancyIsTired]

I nearly cause several break-ups between my brother and his then GF. They found this out when I kept doing more stunts during their engagement (spreading lies, badmouthing her when she was absent, informing her about my brother cheating, etc.) Ever since then I have been deleted from my brother's facebook and I'm no longer allowed to come to their wedding.

 

I realized she must be hating me now since it's only me who has been causing trouble. What can I do to make things better and hopefully be forgiven? I won't ever do something like that again. I'm really sorry for putting her and my brother through all this mess. How can I fix this?

[12yearsin]

Why did you do this?

[NancyIsTired]

Why did you do this?

I had my own personal demons and always wanted attention ever since my brother and I were kids. He has always been the favorite child while I was in second place and dealt with bullies practically almost my whole school years. Plus I really have no luck in relationships at all. Two men already cheated on me but think it's deserved after what I put them through.

 

I never meant to treat her like this. It's not her that was the problem but me. Hopefully she forgives me one day and we get to talk again.

[NancyIsTired]

Well what I do to make things right?

 

Would any of you forgive me for this? I know apologizing wouldn't be enough so how can I prove them I've changed and really regret it all? I really mean it and would want to be reinvited.

[spice4life]

Well what I do to make things right?

 

Would any of you forgive me for this? I know apologizing wouldn't be enough so how can I prove them I've changed and really regret it all? I really mean it and would want to be reinvited.

 

Have you tried sending them both a heartfelt letter apologizing for all of your actions? If you broke their trust it is going to take some time to rebuild it. You are going to have to be consistent in your actions and more importantly, be patient. If they are leary about trusting you, accept it and continue to show your sincerety through actions. Don't try to force them to accept your efforts...they need to see you mean it. Let them come around in their own time.

 

Try sending a heart felt apology letter with an offer sit down with the both of them so you can tell them in person and go from there.

Edited December 5, 2010 by spice4life

[NancyIsTired]

I have already send 2 letters this morning, one for my dear brother and another for his fiancee. I really hope she can one day forgive me for being so horrible and we can maybe be friends.

How long should I wait to get a response back?

[spice4life]

I have already send 2 letters this morning, one for my dear brother and another for his fiancee. I really hope she can one day forgive me for being so horrible and we can maybe be friends.

How long should I wait to get a response back?

 

That's hard to say. Give them some time to digest it and see what happens. Has your relationship with your brother always been rocky? And is there anyone in your family who might be willing to be a cheerleader for you? In other words, is anyone willing to help champion your efforts? I wouldn't give up if they don't respond to the first attempt, it may take a little while for them to be comfortable with the idea of trusting. Just stay consistent and hopefully they will come around.

[NancyIsTired]

Has your relationship with your brother always been rocky? And is there anyone in your family who might be willing to be a cheerleader for you? In other words, is anyone willing to help champion your efforts? I wouldn't give up if they don't respond to the first attempt, it may take a little while for them to be comfortable with the idea of trusting. Just stay consistent and hopefully they will come around.

Apart from having arguments sometimes during our childhood and adolescence, nothing major has ever happened before. Though it used to annoy me every time he was the favorite child and received a bit more attention than I did.

As for who is willing to help me get them back in my life and reinvited to their wedding (if possible), my parents are going to try once again. The others don't want to get involved.

 

I have a friend that might help me but she doesn't know them too well.