youngskywalker Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Texting sucks. I just went through a STR and I think part of the problem it didn't work out was that we texted too much instead of forcing our interest into dates and phone calls. I've fallen into the trap of believing I was getting to know a girl and she was interested because she was texting me and even being very flirtatious. From now on I'm going to stay away from it as much as I can with girls that I want to date. It's for friends, and couples who are IN a relationship where both sides are committed. That's my opinion anyway. The next girl I meet, if she wants to get to know me, is going to have to see me in person instead of mooching attention from me via text messaging. And that's exactly what I believe it was: mooching affection from me for an ego boost or just wanted to play a game for awhile. Wow, was I stupid. I wish I could have a chance to do it differently.
runner Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Texting sucks. I just went through a STR and I think part of the problem it didn't work out was that we texted too much instead of forcing our interest into dates and phone calls. I've fallen into the trap of believing I was getting to know a girl and she was interested because she was texting me and even being very flirtatious. From now on I'm going to stay away from it as much as I can with girls that I want to date. It's for friends, and couples who are IN a relationship where both sides are committed. That's my opinion anyway. The next girl I meet, if she wants to get to know me, is going to have to see me in person instead of mooching attention from me via text messaging. And that's exactly what I believe it was: mooching affection from me for an ego boost or just wanted to play a game for awhile. Wow, was I stupid. I wish I could have a chance to do it differently. my name is runner, and i approve this message. +1
In The Green Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Hear, hear. I keep reading horror stories on this site of how people are poorly communicating or being manipulated via texting.
EyeAlone Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I also had a STR fail because of texting. My personal opinion is that it builds a lot of false intimacy.
Author youngskywalker Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 Hear, hear. I keep reading horror stories on this site of how people are poorly communicating or being manipulated via texting. It's a tool that can be used in a new relationship to help it or destroy it. I think people need to take a second look at how and what they text. Look at how many posts in here are about "this person texted me, what does it mean" or "didn't hear back for 5 hours". Many of us are running ourselves in circles by opening up the pandora box of texting. I knew better than to go down this road in the my last relationship but I was overcome with the temptation. Once you start the downward spiral it's almost impossible to get out. Many here know what I'm talking about. Simple fix... keep it very light, short and most of all DO NOT attempt to communicate feelings; ESPECIALLY ones of dissatisfaction. Here's my question: what do you think about chatting on the computer? I think it's alright and don't recall having negative results come from it. Texting with cellphones and conversing on the computer are two different worlds IMO. Agree?
runner Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 yes i would say so...it's as if, when on the computer, you make the effort to log on and then log off the chat, whereas on mobile it just goes on and on and there aren't real boundaries on where the convo begins and ends- hence the reason why i prefer not to converse via text. it's just kinda wierd. i prefer to keep texting light, and if anything, just a means to actually getting together and spend some real face time with each other.
LondonS Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Totally agree- I use to be the one who left my phone in the car for hours and never needed it, yet when I started dating the last guy ( he was a chain texter) I got hooked into texting and I think that pretty much ruined everything. lesson learnt !!
refurb Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Nothing wrong with texting or email or talking on the phone. However, the purpose of it should be to arrange dates. Don't try and create a relationship electronically. RF
phineas Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I'm realizing this was the problem with the last woman. I was letting her talk & text me way way too much. She had no reason to actually see me. I got trapped. We wern't actually dateing but she started expecting me to act like we were. Phone convo's took the place of spending actual time together. I was wasting huge amounts of time on the phone. If I went out & didn't answer her call I was "blowing her off" & she'd want to know where I was & who I was with. Then another woman showed interest & I almost felt like cheating when I talked to her so I just ended it with the first woman. It wasn't hard. I can't get attached to a woman if I don't spend real time with her. I will not fall into the text & call trap again. The phone is used for scheduling dates. If they want to talk to me they need to give me face time to do it.
Tom81 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I also approve of this post...as I've fallen for this trap before too. Damn texting.
Author youngskywalker Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 Wow, I'm surprised at the feedback from other people who have experienced the same thing as myself. I think we could help a lot of people here. There are many people who I see in this forum who are falling into this trap. More feedback would be nice because I think there are potential relationships out there that are sabotaged by this method of building connection. I only wish I would have known this earlier. I might have gone forward with a special girl. It's tricky and delicate in the world of dating and any help we can get will benefit us all. The chronic texters need to consider. Cheers.
tigressA Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 This is a huge reason why I had a text block put on my phone a year ago. It helps a lot! I tell everyone I give my number to that they have to call my phone to get in touch with me, not text. If they forget, they get a convenient message letting them know I've blocked texts.
SmileFace Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Wow, I can't believe how many people deal with this. I have been a victim to the dreaded text . I am seriously about to block texting on my phone as well. It has come to the point that I feel like I am in relationships with guys since text seems really not to have any time boundaries and you are texting from wake to sleep.
mortensorchid Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I'm behind you 100% on this. Texting is a good means in which to contact someone, but when they really want to SAY something they should do it face to face or on a phone call at the very least. Since the invention of email and now texting (which is essentially sending an email to someone), have you noticed that people are becoming much braver? And I say that sarcastically, they are actually much more offensive and cowardly. I wish I had a quarter for every time someone broke it over via email or text now, it's a cruel, cruel world. But, in some ways it's a good thing because you see who the person really is by these actions.
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