Been a while.

[chained2000]

Hi, this is chained2000. My original account was chained200 but I lost the password and the email account that was linked to it (stupid me, I know). My first thread was called Resentment(http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t245428/) if you guys don't remember me or know who I am.

 

So I filed for divorce in September of this year and it'll be final in three and a half weeks. I've been seeing a therapist since October and it's been okay. She helps me relax when I tell her how I really feel about my wife, which is mostly every degrading name and phrase in Hell. I got a small apartment 5 miles from my mother's house. Been living there for two months. Me and my wife were in close proximity yesterday. It was the first time we spoke to each other since I moved out in September. It was only about the house and other finances with our lawyers present. Just to make sure everything's in order before we go to court. Bich didn't change one bit when she came into the office. She rarely spoke and had a neutral look on her face, and above all, she didn't glance at me not one time. I glared at her for most of the meeting. She looked at everything but me. She knew I was looking at her. Then when we were done she speed-walked out the room.

 

So far so good besides the meeting. I know it was viable but it hurt seeing her again. Been fighting the urge to find me some sex but I guess I can wait to blast my guns in a few weeks. I'm impatient, excited, nervous, and relieved at the same time.

[Distant78]

Hi, this is chained2000. My original account was chained200 but I lost the password and the email account that was linked to it (stupid me, I know). My first thread was called Resentment(http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t245428/) if you guys don't remember me or know who I am.

 

So I filed for divorce in September of this year and it'll be final in three and a half weeks. I've been seeing a therapist since October and it's been okay. She helps me relax when I tell her how I really feel about my wife, which is mostly every degrading name and phrase in Hell. I got a small apartment 5 miles from my mother's house. Been living there for two months. Me and my wife were in close proximity yesterday. It was the first time we spoke to each other since I moved out in September. It was only about the house and other finances with our lawyers present. Just to make sure everything's in order before we go to court. Bich didn't change one bit when she came into the office. She rarely spoke and had a neutral look on her face, and above all, she didn't glance at me not one time. I glared at her for most of the meeting. She looked at everything but me. She knew I was looking at her. Then when we were done she speed-walked out the room.

 

So far so good besides the meeting. I know it was viable but it hurt seeing her again. Been fighting the urge to find me some sex but I guess I can wait to blast my guns in a few weeks. I'm impatient, excited, nervous, and relieved at the same time.

 

Good for you man. I know how it feels having to see them again after a significant amount of time. Made you feel funny didn't it? Don't sweat it, it'll be over soon then you can start fresh next year in 2011!!!LOL!!!

[chained2000]

Good for you man. I know how it feels having to see them again after a significant amount of time. Made you feel funny didn't it? Don't sweat it, it'll be over soon then you can start fresh next year in 2011!!!LOL!!!

 

Yes, it was very awkward having to see her there. I'm still in shock over this too, but hopefully I can make it a little bit past Christmas without going overboard. Thanks Distant.

[Distant78]

Yes, it was very awkward having to see her there. I'm still in shock over this too, but hopefully I can make it a little bit past Christmas without going overboard. Thanks Distant.

 

Don't worry about it. Do you have any friends? If so, you should hang around them to keep you in a good, reasonable mood. It stings but that doesn't mean you can't get back up. All of us betrayed spouses will have dark days no matter how many years away from D-Day.

[karnak]

What is interesting is that during all your years together after you discovered the affair your gut was telling you that everything wasn't exactly "alright". And it really wasn't. Our human subconscious can really be amazing...

 

Didn't your wife tried to get close to you during these last 2 months? And how did her family reacted to your actions?

 

I don't know what happened in these months you've been offline. But, based on your wive's attitude during the meeting I'd label her as a lying, unrepentant, selfish bitch.

[Spiritgirl]

[

I don't know what happened in these months you've been offline. But, based on your wive's attitude during the meeting I'd label her as a lying, unrepentant, selfish bitch.

 

Wow, thats a pretty big assumption based on what you read in a few sentences about someone written by someone else. This is so NOT helpful to OP and not even necessarily true. We have no idea what transpired. From what I recall from just reading his previous last post, written a few months ago, she wanted to talk to him and was pleading with him to believe she loved him and she was sorry. Did you get some new information since then? If so please share it. I would say it's more likely she was very afraid (and ashamed) to see him again and didnt have the courage to look at him. That doesnt make her an unrepentant selfish bitch. And even if she is, you dont know that. Sounds like you may have some of your own anger issues.

 

Chained, if you do feel like telling us what has gone on in the past few months, I for one, am interested. Whatever is in your best interest. Hope you are doing okay.

[karnak]

[

I don't know what happened in these months you've been offline. But, based on your wive's attitude during the meeting I'd label her as a lying, unrepentant, selfish bitch.

 

Wow, thats a pretty big assumption based on what you read in a few sentences about someone written by someone else. This is so NOT helpful to OP and not even necessarily true. We have no idea what transpired. From what I recall from just reading his previous last post, written a few months ago, she wanted to talk to him and was pleading with him to believe she loved him and she was sorry. Did you get some new information since then? If so please share it. I would say it's more likely she was very afraid (and ashamed) to see him again and didnt have the courage to look at him. That doesnt make her an unrepentant selfish bitch. And even if she is, you dont know that. Sounds like you may have some of your own anger issues.

 

Chained, if you do feel like telling us what has gone on in the past few months, I for one, am interested. Whatever is in your best interest. Hope you are doing okay.

 

Well, Spiritgirl... to be honest, if you had done to me what his ex-wife did to him I'd sure get very, very mad. By not doing any nasty thing to her I can say that Chained is a way better person than me. Yep, I sure got anger issues, alright.

 

And I took the liberty of asking Chained if that had been the last time he had talked with her. But perhaps, Chained can enlighten you on how he's feeling right now.

[chained2000]

Don't worry about it. Do you have any friends? If so, you should hang around them to keep you in a good, reasonable mood. It stings but that doesn't mean you can't get back up. All of us betrayed spouses will have dark days no matter how many years away from D-Day.

 

I have three friends who i've known for five years. We mostly hang out playing pick-up basketball at our local recreation center and going to the bar twice a week. And I do have those dark days and sometimes I call my friends to tell them i'm not coming when i'm really in a bad mood.

[chained2000]

What is interesting is that during all your years together after you discovered the affair your gut was telling you that everything wasn't exactly "alright". And it really wasn't. Our human subconscious can really be amazing...

 

Didn't your wife tried to get close to you during these last 2 months? And how did her family reacted to your actions?

 

I don't know what happened in these months you've been offline. But, based on your wive's attitude during the meeting I'd label her as a lying, unrepentant, selfish bitch.

 

You're right Karnak. As in my old thread, I held a lot of resentment and a few unanswered questions. But as of today I have all that I need to move forward from this pissy relationship. I'm washing my hands of her.

 

My wife has tried to contact me and numerous times during the last two months but I refused to speak to her. My mom would speak to her on occassion about me, but never gave her where I was located. Two and a half months ago she even came to my mother's house to see if I was there or not (and I was but I didn't show myself). She kept questioning my mother about me and where I was at but she stood ground and told her to leave the premises. I could tell she was pissed that my mom didn't give in to her when she slammed the door to her Benz. She never came back after that day.

 

Now for my wife's family? Mixed reactions. Some were angry at her, some at me, some at both of us. Nothing I didn't expect. I understood them fully. Never spoke to them again in two months after the few chats I had with them. That's all I have to say about her family. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

In reference to my wife's attitude, I honestly don't know. I was trying to read her face and I couldn't grab anything from it. She rarely moved in her seat and never looked at me not once. Her face was so plain. Like a statue. Spiritgirl maybe she was afraid and ashamed to see me. It was obvious from how she walked out the room that she didn't want to be near me. Oh well, the feeling's mutual. Don't want a lier for a wife no more anyway.

[Distant78]

My wife has tried to contact me and numerous times during the last two months but I refused to speak to her. My mom would speak to her on occassion about me, but never gave her where I was located. Two and a half months ago she even came to my mother's house to see if I was there or not (and I was but I didn't show myself). She kept questioning my mother about me and where I was at but she stood ground and told her to leave the premises. I could tell she was pissed that my mom didn't give in to her when she slammed the door to her Benz. She never came back after that day.

 

Seems you have a good mother who loves you and will stick up for you. That's good man. She was mad that she wasn't getting what she wanted. That's why she slammed the door to her car.

 

Now for my wife's family? Mixed reactions. Some were angry at her, some at me, some at both of us. Nothing I didn't expect. I understood them fully. Never spoke to them again in two months after the few chats I had with them. That's all I have to say about her family. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Yessir! Even if all of them were just pissed at her, eventually they'd probably still stick with her because she's still family.

 

In reference to my wife's attitude, I honestly don't know. I was trying to read her face and I couldn't grab anything from it. She rarely moved in her seat and never looked at me not once. Her face was so plain. Like a statue. Spiritgirl maybe she was afraid and ashamed to see me. It was obvious from how she walked out the room that she didn't want to be near me. Oh well, the feeling's mutual. Don't want a lier for a wife no more anyway.

 

Whatever her reason was for not looking at you, she's still nothing but a selfish whore. You'll find someone who will never play you this way.

[chained2000]

Yessir! Even if all of them were just pissed at her, eventually they'd probably still stick with her because she's still family.

 

I figured that. Doesn't really matter now at this point. They're not in my position. It's between me and her at the end of the day. Just want this to be over now.

[Distant78]

Well good for you dude. Not a lot of men like you have the courage and balls to get out of a parasitic marriage, especially if there's kids involved.

[chained2000]

So my wife is in the hospital for trying to commit suicide. I'm in the lobby with her family and my mother and i'm waiting to see her now. I'll tell you guys more later on tonight if I can. This is ridiculous.

[kuma]

So my wife is in the hospital for trying to commit suicide. I'm in the lobby with her family and my mother and i'm waiting to see her now. I'll tell you guys more later on tonight if I can. This is ridiculous.

 

I hope she's ok...

[Distant78]

She only did it to make him feel guilty. She doesn't give a crap about him and never did.

[karnak]

Geez, man. I'm sorry for you. This sure is a mess.

 

You have to keep your cool. Regardless of what she's done to you she's now a frail human being. And she needs all the care that can be given to her, so that she can get on her feet again.

 

Be there for her on this very moment if she needs you. And remember that you were not responsible.

[karnak]

She only did it to make him feel guilty. She doesn't give a crap about him and never did.

 

Possible. Regardless of that, such an act is the result of a very desperate and troubled mind. If she really did try to kill herself (if this was not some sort of "staged act") such an extreme action is a sign that she's already paid for her misdeeds.

[goingstrong]

So my wife is in the hospital for trying to commit suicide. I'm in the lobby with her family and my mother and i'm waiting to see her now. I'll tell you guys more later on tonight if I can. This is ridiculous.

 

How serious of a suicide attempt? If it was serious attempt, you're still entitled to divorce, but I would say that you forgive her even if you don't. This is a guilt, shame and loss type of behavior and she is trying to escape the pain.

[Mimolicious]

C2000, I promise you that it only gets better bebe!

 

I know it's hard. Been there myself! One day you will turn around and laugh at it all. You are already on your way to that "one day".

 

At the end, she can't look at you in the face. She has no scrupples and she facked up. SO why should she even look at you?! Think about it this way, you have already taken the high road. Wish you well!

 

Edited after reading the suicide attempt. Whoa! People are crazy. Hope all turns out well and everyone is safe.

Edited December 8, 2010 by Mimolicious

[chained2000]

I apologize for being gone for so long without giving you guys a little update. I'm going to get straight to the point on the status of my marriage. I've decided to hold it off for a while. Now I know some of you may think I'm being a pushover and whatnot but I'm doing this because part of me still cares about her. I'm probably not thinking straight but this is what I feel currently. It just doesn't feel right leaving someone in a fragile state. Now in regards to the "suicide attempt" she tried overdosing on sleeping pills at her parent's house. Her mother wanted wanted to make sure she was okay because she was in the bathroom for a while. Called her name multiple times but never got a response. Tried the door and it was locked so she used a penny to unlock it (it's a really weak lock). Found her knocked out on the bathroom floor with 3 empty containers of Lunexor and that's how she ended up in the hospital. Had to get her stomach pumped too.

 

The doctors told us that her liver has obtained some damage and that she's lucky to be alive. She's been in the hospital these past 2 weeks undergoing a lot of evaluations, being on a fixed diet, and closely watched. It's just a pure mess and she may need to be transferred to another facility to undergo deeper treatment. Me and her talk everyday and she did say she did it because she was guilty over us, and doesn't know if she could keep on living. I honestly don't think I can leave her now, not when her life is still at risk. I've been staying at a Motel 6 about 2 miles from the hospital where she stays. So there it is.

[Distant78]

I apologize for being gone for so long without giving you guys a little update. I'm going to get straight to the point on the status of my marriage. I've decided to hold it off for a while. Now I know some of you may think I'm being a pushover and whatnot but I'm doing this because part of me still cares about her. I'm probably not thinking straight but this is what I feel currently. It just doesn't feel right leaving someone in a fragile state. Now in regards to the "suicide attempt" she tried overdosing on sleeping pills at her parent's house. Her mother wanted wanted to make sure she was okay because she was in the bathroom for a while. Called her name multiple times but never got a response. Tried the door and it was locked so she used a penny to unlock it (it's a really weak lock). Found her knocked out on the bathroom floor with 3 empty containers of Lunexor and that's how she ended up in the hospital. Had to get her stomach pumped too.

 

The doctors told us that her liver has obtained some damage and that she's lucky to be alive. She's been in the hospital these past 2 weeks undergoing a lot of evaluations, being on a fixed diet, and closely watched. It's just a pure mess and she may need to be transferred to another facility to undergo deeper treatment. Me and her talk everyday and she did say she did it because she was guilty over us, and doesn't know if she could keep on living. I honestly don't think I can leave her now, not when her life is still at risk. I've been staying at a Motel 6 about 2 miles from the hospital where she stays. So there it is.

 

You're only in for more heartbreak. It's good that you care about her health but you still gotta divorce her. She only did it to draw you back and you're falling for it. Let her lie in the bed she messed up.

[Carrot2000]

Chained, I read your backstory and I think you're doing the right thing by holding off on the divorce and supporting your wife, but please don't let this incident cloud your judgment about the marriage and your wife's behavior. Clearly, she needs help and is in a place where she can get it; hopefully she will recover and move beyond her depression. You are doing the decent human thing, but it sounds like your wife has deeper issues that are beyond your ability to solve.

[wicar1]

I apologize for being ....

 

First of all, I pray for her well being...

 

You are doing a great thing by supporting her in her present state. I agree with your decision...She's human...

 

May be she did it to make you feel guilty or may be win your sympathy or may she couldnt stand losing you...Anyway...In her present state...( as you ve described) you need to care for her...

 

BUT, never forget she cheated on you. Never make this incident influence your decision to leave her. Her present state might make you vulnerable... and might give you thoughts of staying with her. Dont get trapped. As soon as she's cured... just leave her.

 

Also.. this is an alert to you. She's capable of taking a life, even if it's her own. You should be glad it this incident never happened when she was with you. I can imagine what might have happened if she did the same when staying with you..in the same house ?? I bet every single relative of hers would have blamed you...If things have gone too nasty may be you might even get charged for something you never did.

 

So handle this situation very carefuly. Care for her but dont get too close.

She has a weak mind. She's a cheater and now she's trying to commit suicide. She's no marriage material.

[chained2000]

Thanks Distant, Carrot, and Wicar. I know what you guys mean by not forgetting and being careful, I really do. I will be honest this is leaving me with small thoughts of being with her as crazy as it sounds. I never wished death on her. Never wanted her to die even though I was so angry at finding out the truth about our marriage. I can't even be angry at her right now and it surprises me. If she does make a full recovery, I don't know if I'll be as angry at her as I was again. This whole thing is messing with my head.

 

When I arrived to see her with my mother, some of her family members were accusing me of making her try to kill herself. Her mother and father were trying to calm them down but they got so loud security had to put them in check. I kept my mouth closed. No point in trying to explain to them. They know the whole story and I wasn't even there when she tried to do that. Gave me mean looks when I walked into her room. Wicar you're probably right about them accusing me if it happened while I was with her. Who knows? I would've probably been in jail. I'm just glad that she's not dead and in good care for now. I'll try and get back to you guys as soon as possible.

[Distant78]

Thanks Distant, Carrot, and Wicar. I know what you guys mean by not forgetting and being careful, I really do. I will be honest this is leaving me with small thoughts of being with her as crazy as it sounds. I never wished death on her. Never wanted her to die even though I was so angry at finding out the truth about our marriage. I can't even be angry at her right now and it surprises me. If she does make a full recovery, I don't know if I'll be as angry at her as I was again. This whole thing is messing with my head.

 

When I arrived to see her with my mother, some of her family members were accusing me of making her try to kill herself. Her mother and father were trying to calm them down but they got so loud security had to put them in check. I kept my mouth closed. No point in trying to explain to them. They know the whole story and I wasn't even there when she tried to do that. Gave me mean looks when I walked into her room. Wicar you're probably right about them accusing me if it happened while I was with her. Who knows? I would've probably been in jail. I'm just glad that she's not dead and in good care for now. I'll try and get back to you guys as soon as possible.

 

Wicar took the words out of my mouth regarding your wife. She's crazy and as far as her family is concerned, they're nutjobs also. They have some nerve accusing you of causing all of this rubbish after everything she put you through. Wicar is right: Your azz would be in jail now if it had happened on your watch or her sneaky azz probably would've killed you and herself. Cheaters don't like it when their betrayed spouse moves on. Best believe EVERY SINGLE ONE of those family member would've been trying to see you in prison for life if it happened while you were around. Heck, they're probably trying to get you in jail now. That's why cheaters can be dangerous to be around. They'll come up with a whole bunch of stupid explanations to do what they do. If I were you, I'd stay away from her and her family and let them deal with their issues because I see this getting worse. You don't need to be around this at all and you deserve better.