tbird509 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 i work with my ex all day and would like to show her ive moved on,even though i havent but i want to and im trying,any ideas how to show her ive moved on?
westrock Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Why do you feel that you need to show her you've moved on?
Author tbird509 Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 i need and want to move on,so i dont want her knowing i still have feelings for her,she broke up with me 3months ago,so i want to move on and she made it clear its over,so i gave it my best shot of making it work,so now its time to move on and show her i'll be fine without her
WTRanger Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Simple, act normal. Keep the conversations to work only, and treat her like any other co-worker. Unless you want to stand on your desk, tear your shirt off, and proclaim to the world you are over her all while giving her the double-barrel middle finger. I really don't know how else you can show her other than acting normal.
Author tbird509 Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 wtranger,u made me laugh,but your right,i guess its all about being myself and not caring what she thinks
Ajax Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 How bout when you are having a conversation with her start staring at another girl in the office, and make sure she notices. Then when she calls you out on it look back at her and say, "I'm sorry, what?"
mgene15 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 lol just act happy, upbeat around her, act as if nothing is bothering you even if it is
paleblue Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 its real easy, you just don’t pay any attention to her. you don’t really need to show her anything, you just need to worry about yourself. stop talking to her. stop looking at her. think about someone else in the office you really aren’t acquainted with. do you talk to them? do you care what they do? probably not. treat her the same way – indifferent. you don’t hate her, you don’t like her – you are just indifferent. go out, meet new girls. I work with my betrayer. she wants to be friends. I told her no. I told her don’t talk to me if you have a bf. I am not comfortable with it. plain and simple. the way I see it, she wanted me out so bad, well, I am just obeying orders : ) she cant have it both ways with me. I am not accepting second best, or breadcrumbs. it will be a cold day in he LL first. I don’t look at her, I don’t email her, I don’t walk by. if I see her in the hallways I will politely smile if she does, and keep walking. I don’t initiate anything with her. I didn’t want things to be like this, but hey, she started it. ive come to the conclusion you look like a pu@@y accepting her friendship while she is with someone else. when you do that you are pretty much saying to her, hey girl, its ok, I accept that you dumped me and are porking some other guy because you think he’s better than me, and that’s cool with me. I just want you in my life no matter what because I am that weak willed. I seriously doubt any guy with a sense of self worth and dignity is cool with any chick treating him like that.
LikeCharlotte Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 I hate to say this but the only way is to actually do it and once you do you wont care if your ex knows it or not. When you do not care what the ex thinks or sees it wont matter how you act or if she takes it the wrong way. Focus on actually moving on and you will feel better. So the real question is: "how do you move on?"
Surfer203 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 NC is mandatory to show your ex that you moved on. If you are still communicating with them then they know they still have you in their grasp. For me, this was my way of showing my wife that I was done with her.
SmileyGirl Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 its real easy, you just don’t pay any attention to her. you don’t really need to show her anything, you just need to worry about yourself. stop talking to her. stop looking at her. think about someone else in the office you really aren’t acquainted with. do you talk to them? do you care what they do? probably not. treat her the same way – indifferent. you don’t hate her, you don’t like her – you are just indifferent. go out, meet new girls. I work with my betrayer. she wants to be friends. I told her no. I told her don’t talk to me if you have a bf. I am not comfortable with it. plain and simple. the way I see it, she wanted me out so bad, well, I am just obeying orders : ) she cant have it both ways with me. I am not accepting second best, or breadcrumbs. it will be a cold day in he LL first. I don’t look at her, I don’t email her, I don’t walk by. if I see her in the hallways I will politely smile if she does, and keep walking. I don’t initiate anything with her. I didn’t want things to be like this, but hey, she started it. ive come to the conclusion you look like a pu@@y accepting her friendship while she is with someone else. when you do that you are pretty much saying to her, hey girl, its ok, I accept that you dumped me and are porking some other guy because you think he’s better than me, and that’s cool with me. I just want you in my life no matter what because I am that weak willed. I seriously doubt any guy with a sense of self worth and dignity is cool with any chick treating him like that. I couldn't agree more!! GREAT advice!
BorderRogue Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 i work with my ex all day and would like to show her ive moved on,even though i havent but i want to and im trying,any ideas how to show her ive moved on? Depends on the breakup I suppose. If it was a grueling bloody affair, then NC is probably save you alot of legal and mental grief. If it was a brainfart on her part, then be a gent/lady. Smile, excellent manners and go about your business. My EX stares at me from a distance and bites her lip as I walk past. Wistful thinking??? Who cares, I'm thinking about what to have for dinner and what movie is coming out. LOL
radiodarcy Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 its real easy, you just don’t pay any attention to her. you don’t really need to show her anything, you just need to worry about yourself. stop talking to her. stop looking at her. think about someone else in the office you really aren’t acquainted with. do you talk to them? do you care what they do? probably not. treat her the same way – indifferent. you don’t hate her, you don’t like her – you are just indifferent. go out, meet new girls. I work with my betrayer. she wants to be friends. I told her no. I told her don’t talk to me if you have a bf. I am not comfortable with it. plain and simple. the way I see it, she wanted me out so bad, well, I am just obeying orders : ) she cant have it both ways with me. I am not accepting second best, or breadcrumbs. it will be a cold day in he LL first. I don’t look at her, I don’t email her, I don’t walk by. if I see her in the hallways I will politely smile if she does, and keep walking. I don’t initiate anything with her. I didn’t want things to be like this, but hey, she started it. ive come to the conclusion you look like a pu@@y accepting her friendship while she is with someone else. when you do that you are pretty much saying to her, hey girl, its ok, I accept that you dumped me and are porking some other guy because you think he’s better than me, and that’s cool with me. I just want you in my life no matter what because I am that weak willed. I seriously doubt any guy with a sense of self worth and dignity is cool with any chick treating him like that. [COLOR=#677788][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000000][COLOR=#1f497d]paleblue, i couldn't have said it better myself! my 'ex' isn't really my ex. he was more a friend w/ benefits. in the beginning i tried pushing for more - - boy did i ever!at first he would just say "no" (but still continue with the benefits *rolls eyes*) then he would just give non- answers. the straw that broke the camel's back was when i went on his facebook and saw him flirting with all these other girls and talking about how he had the time of his life on the weekends - - while all along he has been telling me how depressed he was and how his weekends were either sh--ty or just ok. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#677788][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000000][COLOR=#1f497d]at that point i became undone by my own insecurities and started getting crazy paranoid/jealous; to make a long story short we had a big fight and he told me in no uncertain terms that he was fed up with the situation and that i needed to move on. i admit, i had no reason to expect him not to talk to other girls - - or even get upset about it. but it's not easy for me to let people in. which is why at the age of 33, he was my first kiss, my first love my first "everything". so even though the rational part of my brain was basically trying to tell me "you get what you settle for" the emotional side just couldn't accept that.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#677788][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000000][COLOR=#1f497d] anyway after a brief period (like a week) of no contact, i hit him up on IM. while we did talk things out - - he held firm to his assertion that i needed to move on but told me that he wanted me to know that deep down, he still considers me a friend.. phbbbtt- - whatever that means.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR] nevertheless, [COLOR=#677788][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000000][COLOR=#1f497d]i wasnt ready to let go yet so i tried doing limited contact. but when he didn't respond to an IM and text i sent a week later that's when i knew i had to quit cold turkey. around that time i came across loveshack and the NC guide and am eternally grateful that i did. because if i hadn't i wouldn't be able to say that i am at 19 days of NC [/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]as for us being friends... with friends like him - - good riddance! i'm done with whoring (be it literally or figuratively) myself out for scraps. of course i still have my days when i get super depressed and miss him like crazy and then there are days when i barely think about him at all. but all in all , NC has [COLOR=#677788][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=#000000][COLOR=#1f497d][COLOR=#000000]enabled me to take the power back and feel like a human being again. because ultimately, that's really what NC is all about. it's not about manipulating/guilting your ex into taking you back or proving anything to them. nor is NC about getting back at your ex for all the grief they put you through. it's about taking away the power that you've inadvertently given them in allowing their actions and words to make you feel li[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000]ke crap. no matter what you say or do to your ex, the old childhood adage still applies: i'm rubber you're glue whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. they're going to be fine regardless. you're the one who's going to find yourself stuck in the muck and mire of your own disappointment and resentment. and while it's going to take time to pull yourself out of it - - you're not doing yourself any favors by staying there.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]
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