Madgick1 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 (edited) I'm interested in moving a business relationship into a social one and am wondering if he's interested in just friends or is also interested in stepping into dating. We work in the same industry, different organizations. Met at a conference, had a good time, did a project together. I know he was attracted to me (altho that doesn't always mean a person wants to move on to something more). He invited me 3 times to tour one of his business assets, which I did. It was unclear if it was a business courtesy or a social event when he invited. And we were joined on the tour by a tour guide, so we didn't get to much talk alone, which is how you'd move from a business relationship to a social one. I sent a bottle of wine thank you after the tour. He wrote an email thanking me for it and said "of course it will be exercised on a future date", an odd turn of phrase, and that he had several weeks of traveling ahead but would catch up with me 'on the rebound'. When I read it I wondered briefly if that meant he wanted to drink it with me, then thought, 'naaah' too cryptic. Found out later he did mean to drink it with me. He spent spent most of his adult life in male dominanted environments (military and engineering) and I think isn't really socially smooth, and having split up from his second wife in Mar 09, is a bit gun shy abt relationships-- he's not a shy guy, altho I've noticed he's a cautious one. He contacted me Thursday while I was on break during a seminar. He'd been on a camping trip and told me about it, then updated me on a bit of that joint project we had during the conference (which has nothing to do with me at all but interests him), then told me that next week he's going out of state to ski for a week, and said when he gets back he should be back for a while and "Let's make a point of toasting the holidays when I return". I said I was out of commission 12/20-26 and before a firm date could be established, had to go back into the seminar. Sigh, I still have no idea whether he's interested in being friends or maybe exploring dating and a relationship. Bored in the seminar, I drew a littel calendar and worked it out. He's been out of town a lot in the 51 days since I sent him the wine. It's all been social trips, to visit a brother, another to visit his father, a trip to a memorial with a friend for another friend, a camping trip and a ski trip. He's only actually been back for two weekends in those 51 days, meaning only two opportunities for weekend dates. But since he gets back usually on Thursdays, it would be a bit rude to call for a Saturday date. In the 51 days though, he's mentioned getting together 3 times when he's done travelling, drinking that wine I sent twice and getting a holiday toast once. Told me in detail his travel plans, something that is not my business at all, and I wondered if he was telling me in detail because he was interested but didn't want me to feel brushed off. Everytime he is in town, abt once a week he has sent me short joking emails, updating me. Once told me he'd told his brother something abt us at the conference. And once when he was in town 3 days tried to set up something but it fell thru. Frankly, looking at my calendar and with Xmas and New years on the weekends, I don't see how we are able to get together until January, unless he wants to do 12/18 which is 3 days after he gets back from his ski trip or the week between Xmas and NYE. Actually this weekend would have been been good, he's been back from his camping trip 11 days--but no. It's the first non-holiday weekend he's been home since October, so maybe he just wanted downtime. Clearly I'm not a burning interest, but there must be some interest or maybe not, only a friends thing someday. OTOH, I'm losing interest. I have enough friends, am looking to date. Any comments? Edited December 5, 2010 by Madgick1
january2010 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 A link to your updated thread: Update: Work to Personal Relationship
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