mathguy Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Okay, for those who read my last thread: Yes, I was being totally paranoid and nothing was wrong. Thanks for the advice. Now, to avoid reading too much into anything myself, I'd like some folks' take on another matter. Womens' perspectives would be especially appreciated. So, I've seen this particular girl outside of class (junior college) once and it went well, but we're still in that 'getting to know' phase - no bf/gf stuff yet. She's very much into text messaging. Our text conversations always seem to be going well and she doesn't give me short shrift, but they always end abruptly, typically by her just not answering back when I send her something. The particular texts she's done this on have never been my most witty, but they weren't insulting or uncomfortable either (so far as I know). She also seems perfectly friendly the next time I text her, usually the next day or so. With that in mind... 1) How should I view this behavior on her part? I don't want to read too much in to this, but it does make me wonder what she could be thinking. 2) Should I ever try to text her a second time (or call her) in such a circumstance, or should I back off and wait 'til later? It keeps bugging me that it's possible she or I just didn't get a (sent) message and she's thinking I'm the one not responding, but if there's a good reason she didn't text back I don't want to seem 'clingy' by asking if she got it, either. 3) In this phase of a relationship, are random, one-time texts acceptable or appropriate or will they turn her off? It could be something nice to let her know I was thinking of her or say good night, or something randomly amusing, though the latter strikes me as a bit childish. Do girls tend to like that sort of thing? Thanks!
Madgick1 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 If she texts you, do you have to respond with a text? Can you respond with a phone call?
Author mathguy Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 (edited) This particular girl is very much into texting. When I first got her number, she even said something along the lines of "I'll get yours when you text me later" as though texting was a given. Typically, when I call her, I leave a message and she'll get back to me later by text(!). It's not that I'm offended or anything, I understand this preference against a traditional phone call isn't limited to me. I'm just new to the world of text messaging and have no idea how to interpret some things. Edited December 5, 2010 by mathguy
ReadyforLove Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 1) How should I view this behavior on her part? I don't want to read too much in to this, but it does make me wonder what she could be thinking. She sounds immature. How are you supposed to get to know her via a spurt of random texts? 2) Should I ever try to text her a second time (or call her) in such a circumstance, or should I back off and wait 'til later? It keeps bugging me that it's possible she or I just didn't get a (sent) message and she's thinking I'm the one not responding, but if there's a good reason she didn't text back I don't want to seem 'clingy' by asking if she got it, either. This is why you shouldn't be texting. You are putting way too much thought into whether or not the SMS went through, if she read it and is just ignoring you, were you not witty enough etc. Texting is for boys. Phone calls are for men. Pick up the phone and call her. 3) In this phase of a relationship, are random, one-time texts acceptable or appropriate or will they turn her off? It could be something nice to let her know I was thinking of her or say good night, or something randomly amusing, though the latter strikes me as a bit childish. Do girls tend to like that sort of thing? She is obviously not looking for anything serious. Sounds like she wants a pen pal so the text won't turn her off any time soon. My question to you is, do you honestly think you can form a solid relationship via text? Are you asking this girl out on any dates at all?
Author mathguy Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 (edited) Thanks for your reply, ReadyforLove! 1) She doesn't strike me thus in person, and we can actually carry on a fairly good conversation via text; more than just a series of one-liners for sure. I thank recent phone-typing technology for that. It's not the quality of our conversation I'm having trouble with, but her tendency to drop out of one unannounced, and what I should think & do about it to keep things on good terms & moving forward. 2) Tried that, she gets back to me via text. Back to square one. 3) I'm not trying to form a relationship by text alone, but with exams looming & homework load high we can't exactly get together much at the moment. Since she doesn't like actually talking via phone (with anyone), well, options are few. ____________________________________________________ Just because I know it's coming: Before anyone says "it's her problem," that's great to hear (really) but I'd still like to know how to handle it if I'm interested in her regardless. Because if it's her problem, I'm not offended in the slightest. Edited December 5, 2010 by mathguy
westrock Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Have you asked her out on a date yet? If not, then in the middle of your next text conversation just text her saying you would like to continue this converstaion over a coffee as you would like to see her in person and hear her voice rather than texting and specify a date/time.
Author mathguy Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 Hi westrock, Yeah, we've been out once. Not happening again 'til exams are over but it should happen again soon after, I hope.
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