bl22 Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Ive noticed that some posters on here made massive errors of begging and pleading with there ex for months to get back together and work things out. The reason i post is because when me and my ex broke up i did the begging and pleading for around 2 weeks before going complete NC. At the time I didnt know there were rules to follow after a breakup and thought i was being honest but she saw me vunerable, hurt and desperate for 2 weeks...we was together for 2 years prior to that and for the most part was a loving great relationship. The pleas were made through phone and text, I never went down to her house pleading face to face or her work. She would stil say she loved me and doesnt want this to be the last of 'us' when i was trying to make her see, but i realise now i just made things worse. Im not holding out for a second chance anytime soon because im not over her but Id hate to think just because of 2 weeks trying to convince her will have cost me a possible 2nd chance down the line. How long of begging/pleading before there view of you is completely changed? 2 weeks isnt a long time compared to 2 years.
durkadurka Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Begging is never a good thing. Talking is. I think, with time, all things heal. But it's really important to improve yourself in ways that are observable and tangible, and let those do all the speaking for you?
Author bl22 Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 Yeah but if someone isnt willing to talk then you dont have much choice at the time specially when you're not thinking clearly. I must add i didnt allow myself to get 'friendzoned' or become a backup to her. Just told her its all or nothing if you want me to come see you so we can talk things out then i can, and she said she'll always love me but we cant be together right now. That was that, havent contacted her in nearly 2 months now, same for her to me.
durkadurka Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Yeah but if someone isnt willing to talk then you dont have much choice at the time specially when you're not thinking clearly. I must add i didnt allow myself to get 'friendzoned' or become a backup to her. Just told her its all or nothing if you want me to come see you so we can talk things out then i can, and she said she'll always love me but we cant be together right now. That was that, havent contacted her in nearly 2 months now, same for her to me. Doing things in extremes never helped anyone unless there's an obvious sign they want to get back together. It just pushes them further away. I got the exact same line recently, it's a joke, I think if two people are meant to be they can find a short or long term solution. Right now my ex's short term solution is a rebound.
Author bl22 Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 i was saying its all or nothing to show her how im not going to be lead on or be messed around by her not knowing what she wants. If i hadnt have said that she'd probably would have caused me more pain giving me hope whilst she detaches from me slowly easing her decision, making it easier for her. Dont worry i know how it feels, she left me for someone else. stil hard to come to terms with since i trusted her with everything.
durkadurka Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 i was saying its all or nothing to show her how im not going to be lead on or be messed around by her not knowing what she wants. If i hadnt have said that she'd probably would have caused me more pain giving me hope whilst she detaches from me slowly easing her decision, making it easier for her. Dont worry i know how it feels, she left me for someone else. stil hard to come to terms with since i trusted her with everything. She'll pick the safe option which is nothing. Meh. I'm the winner right now, I've put away 20k in the bank since she left, and she's broke, living in her sisters bedroom, her dad was laid off, they have no health insurance, car insurance or house insurance and live off of UI. I should get some satisfaction out of that.. but I don't.
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