Women who "look out" for themselves.

[irc333]

I was wondering, why do women feel the need to have someone "look out for them" when they're plastered? There was this woman at one of these Christmas gatherings, apparently she had one too many drinks, and there was this guy friend she was hangin' all over (she knows him pretty well, so it's not like he's a stranger), he was a bit tipsy, too. And he started feelin' her up a bit...and her more sober female friend was telling him to knock it off....but the irony of it, she was grabbin' his butt. LOL

 

I was thinkin', "They're adults, let them do whatever." Apparently it irritated her female friend that they were enjoying each other in a drunken stuper. Let them feel each other up, big woop.

 

I was wondering, was the female friend really "looking out" for her friend, or was just jealous and using that as an excuse.

 

I'm also the kind of guy that doesn't feel sorry for nor coddle people that are irresponsible when it comes to that kind of thing, and if something happens, well it's their own fault for getting themselves into that situation.

 

I'm the kind of friend that doesn't bail friends out of jail after they've been pulled over for drunk driving, I'm the kind of friend that lets the spend the NIGHT in jail. (Teaches 'em a lesson actually - Tough Love)

 

I guess there are men with guy alcoholic friends that are like this, too. I usually I try not to even associate with people like that in the first place, so a friendship with someone like that would never blossom.

[phineas]

I won't take advantage of a drunk woman. Much. LOL!

I won't fondle them in a public place or try to get sleep with them or anything.

But i'll try to get them to flash me.

 

Usually I can. LOL!

For some reason the sober friends don't mind me doing that.

[Stung]

Alcohol often hits women harder than it does men. Some men are very deliberately predatory around women who have been drinking. They actively try to befuddle their judgment, take advantage of them sexually, sometimes resorting to rape. Women often try to watch each other's backs to help prevent this.

 

I have had friends who knew they were lightweights or had bad judgment after a few drinks ask me to look out for them when they were drinking, and I did it gladly. My interpretation of that has generally been to make sure no guys got too handsy, no guys walked out of the establishment or into the bathroom with them, and to get my girlfriends home safe, either driving them myself or putting them in a cab. I think my friends should occasionally be able to drink, dance, blow off some steam, without having to pay a penalty of being taken advantage of or raped. If they meet a good guy and there are sparks, they can always exchange contact information and go on a date later.

[Pfiend101]

Alot of women use alcohol as an excuse to act like a whore. That's what some really want to be.

[AlektraClementine]

I don't think it's incumbent upon me to teach anyone but my children "lessons". What we think others should do is so subjective.

 

If my friend needs her "back watched", I'm glad to do it.

 

Men, one thing you may not be aware of is that while you have to face fears in your lifetime, you will more than likely never have to worry as much about your physical safety as women do. Not suggesting that bad things can't happen to you, but being dragged away to a secret location and violently raped isn't probably high on your list of concerns. This can happen when a woman is sober. A woman being a little drunk or a lot drunk (with accompanying flirtatiousness) should never be considered a solicitation for undesired intercourse. Too often, it is.

 

With that said, if I'm hanging out with girlfriends and one is a little too "uninhibited" and hanging around men I don't know, you're damn straight I'm going to keep an eye on her.

[that girl]

I do watch friends' backs. Not because I'm worried they will make some drunken mistake, because I'm worried they might be raped. People are less able to resist when they are drunk.

 

I also wouldn't let a friend, male or female, stumble out of a bar alone and drunk to find their own way home.

 

I'm also the kind of guy that doesn't feel sorry for nor coddle people that are irresponsible when it comes to that kind of thing, and if something happens, well it's their own fault for getting themselves into that situation.

This is heartless. There is such a thing as common decency.

 

I'm the kind of friend that doesn't bail friends out of jail after they've been pulled over for drunk driving, I'm the kind of friend that lets the spend the NIGHT in jail. (Teaches 'em a lesson actually - Tough Love)

Are you seriously comparing being raped because you were too drunk to resist the guy to drunk driving? Or are you too thoughtless to understand why women look out for each other?

[irc333]

Now, if it got that far, I wouldn't allow that too happen, but these were just amongst friends hangin' out that all knew each other....in a public place/party.

 

I do NOT condone this kind of thing, and would intervene if it got too far. BUt they were just touchin' each other, tickling, etc. And SHE was doing the same to him.

 

I think they were attracted to each other anyhow.

 

 

And I didn't say anything about not letting anyone find they're way hhome, of course I'd be their designated driver.

 

 

Im just saying, I don't feel sorry for them if I ever hear something happens.

 

 

I do watch friends' backs. Not because I'm worried they will make some drunken mistake, because I'm worried they might be raped. People are less able to resist when they are drunk.

 

I also wouldn't let a friend, male or female, stumble out of a bar alone and drunk to find their own way home.

 

 

This is heartless. There is such a thing as common decency.

 

 

Are you seriously comparing being raped because you were too drunk to resist the guy to drunk driving? Or are you too thoughtless to understand why women look out for each other?

Edited December 5, 2010 by irc333

[harmfulsweetz]

For some men, a drunk woman is the exact kind of woman they prey on. I don't mind my friends drunkenly getting it on with someone if it's clearly mutual, although I may suggest they take the number and call at a later date, to avoid making mistakes. If they want to, and are happy with the guy, sure.

 

However, I don't see the issue with women watching out for their friends. The last thing anyone wants to do is take the chance that there is a rapist in the room. I always check that any man's attentions is wanted and keep an eye, if she's too drunk to make that decision, I get her home.

 

Women and men are different, there's far more risk for women drunk than men drunk. I've seen guys who prowl bars alone, touching up the nearest drunk girl, waiting to pounce.

[that girl]

Now, if it got that far, I wouldn't allow that too happen, but these were just amongst friends hangin' out that all knew each other....in a public place/party.

 

 

Rape doesn't generally happen in public places. It is the guy who will quietly led her out when she's obviously off her face drunk that you have to worry about.

 

And it is because of rape that I keep on eye on friends.

 

Im just saying, I don't feel sorry for them if I ever hear something happens.

 

That is very heartless.

[O'Malley]

Yes, Virginia, there are *some* men who are intentionally looking to manipulate and/or assault women (or men) who have been drinking, or to put GHB or similar drugs into their drinks. Often times they are acquainted with the victim.

 

I'd rather prevent a tipsy or intoxicated friend from making a hazy, spur of the moment decision about leaving with someone that they've been chatting with, than to allow them to go off by themselves into a potentially dangerous situation with their faculties impaired.

[BobSacamento]

I kind of feel like if you have to ask then you are probably one of the creepers who these women are trying to defend against.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I know guys who watch out for each other too. Isn't that what friends do?

[zengirl]

I was wondering, why do women feel the need to have someone "look out for them" when they're plastered? There was this woman at one of these Christmas gatherings, apparently she had one too many drinks, and there was this guy friend she was hangin' all over (she knows him pretty well, so it's not like he's a stranger), he was a bit tipsy, too. And he started feelin' her up a bit...and her more sober female friend was telling him to knock it off....but the irony of it, she was grabbin' his butt. LOL

 

I was thinkin', "They're adults, let them do whatever." Apparently it irritated her female friend that they were enjoying each other in a drunken stuper. Let them feel each other up, big woop.

 

I was wondering, was the female friend really "looking out" for her friend, or was just jealous and using that as an excuse.

 

I'm also the kind of guy that doesn't feel sorry for nor coddle people that are irresponsible when it comes to that kind of thing, and if something happens, well it's their own fault for getting themselves into that situation.

 

I'm the kind of friend that doesn't bail friends out of jail after they've been pulled over for drunk driving, I'm the kind of friend that lets the spend the NIGHT in jail. (Teaches 'em a lesson actually - Tough Love)

 

I guess there are men with guy alcoholic friends that are like this, too. I usually I try not to even associate with people like that in the first place, so a friendship with someone like that would never blossom.

 

Well, that girl seemed to be complicit, so it's hard to say if her friend was really "looking out" or what the dynamic is. My friends and I all look out for each other while drinking. Not just because of natural intoxication, but because, hey, being slipped something DOES happen. So, it depends on the kind of looking out. When I'm drunk, it might be easier for me to get grabbed, drugged, etc, so I count on my friends to stick with me and help me out, but I don't hang all over a guy like that (unless I would sober) just because I'm drunk, so hard to say.

 

I wouldn't say she's an alcoholic because of it, though. And it isn't terrible to stop a friend from doing something you know they'll find embarrassing or regret the next day, in my opinion, so long as you aren't overly intense about it.

[Els]

Dude... If you watched a friend propose to a woman while drunk, would you stop him?