honestlyhurt Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 So she leaves in June... (lived together for 1.5yrs) Was back and forth for a while, and it seems I broke every rule. With too much time on my hands, I called, texted, plead, begged and finally calmed down in Nov. She made visits, sometimes for sex. That stopped in Oct. The last time she was over was Oct 29th (no sex) just dinner and a confusing conversation about her not knowing what she wants. She seems to be okay. Strong. Says its not worth fixing with all thats happend. She will text me back from time to time, I have to initiate, but does not want to talk about the past. Shes so busy with work, and school and the only thing she has on her mind is a vacation trip over the holidays. I have kept my cool speaking to her, and am polite and honest on the phone making small talk. I have even invited her over for cocktales and got a call that said I am sorry I am too busy right now maybe in January. Things seemed to have cooled off, shes not throwing other guys in my face now. She does have a crush on someone 2 hrs away (text relationship). I guess I am looking for advice at this point. If I back off, will she call? Perhaps this trip may clear the air? ahh what do I do?
durkadurka Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Meh I just went through the exact same thing with my ex. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe you have, maybe you haven't but the fact is you need to move on. No one wants an emotional cripple.
tobydog Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Don't they feel sorry for an emotional cripple?
durkadurka Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Don't they feel sorry for an emotional cripple? Why would anyone want to get back together with someone who's a mess?
Author honestlyhurt Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 So what everyone is saying is... show strength? Be tough. Careless.. I am better than I was months ago... but still wish the tables would turn.
durkadurka Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 So what everyone is saying is... show strength? Be tough. Careless.. I am better than I was months ago... but still wish the tables would turn. Not strength, because obviously that's going to be fake, just be balanced. No one expecting you to be a super hero, just find direction in your own life and be happy for yourself. Just don't define yourself by what you believe will help you get her back, girls can see that. Just do what will make you be attractive to yourself, because ultimately that's the most important. On a side note, believe me, you don't want to see the tables turn because seeing someone else miserable sucks. My ex broke up with me for, amongst other reasons, needing to go home to save her family. 6 months later she's broke, living in her sister's bedroom, has no health insurance, no car insurance, her dad has been laid off and her brother is having to join the army. She's also dating an ugly guy who's 50% (11.5 years) older than her. I thought that seeing all of that bad stuff happen to her would make me happy, but instead, it's made me sad for her. It's a no win scenario man.
Author honestlyhurt Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Okay.. So after speaking with her for a couple hours, she goes from anger, to sadness to everything else... I cant talk to her anymore. I feel like I have done all the damage here, making her feel trapped. Then she talks about letting her enjoy her holidays, and connecting for a coffee in January. I am shocked, and feel like I am being strung along. Its a constant battle. If I completly go no contact now..... will she realize what she is doing? Its almost like shes all over the place and I all I do is sit here and have my arms open. I think she loves the chase. She doesnt believe that I will go no contact. If I do.. can things still change? can she still want me?
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