Should I contact her or let it go?

[Obsidia]

Okay, here's the story..

 

In July a good friend of mine was coming home from France and introduced me to her cousin at a get together -- Her cousin and I hit it off. Now it's December and we're not seeing or talking to each other much anymore.

 

In early November I feel like I may have scared her away when I asked her if we should be exclusive. I felt like it was the right thing to say because we were having sex and I wasn't interested in having a sexual relationship with anyone else. That night she agreed, but later on that week she told me that she wasn't really sure anymore. And I respect that, I've been completely single for about two and a half years now (none of that on/off bs). We both agreed it's easier to be single than to be in a relationship. I don't have the right or want to pressure her into doing anything she doesn't want to do, like being in a relationship. I also didn't want to appear like I was someone that needs a relationship, I don't. I've been doing fine on my own since coming out of a three year relationship that ended with my ex cheating on me (typical). Anyway, when she changed her mind is the time I decided to back off and give whatever it is we have some space. On a side note, at her apartment she once asked me, "what are we?"

 

I responded just two people that enjoy each others company and are very attracted to each other -- She laughed, smiled and agreed.

 

Now it's the first week of December.. I haven't seen her in three weeks because I've been busy visiting friends and family out of state for the holidays and our work schedules tend to conflict during the week. We haven't really had a conversation in over a week. I'm wondering if I should just let this go by the wayside or fight for her. I kind of miss this girl, but I've been alone for a few years now and I'm used to it. On the other hand this girl definitely meets my relationship standards which is why I was willing to fight for her. Just throwing this out there, I've been sleeping like **** and I think it's because she's been on my mind a lot lately. After talking to someone pretty much every day, seeing them once or twice a week since July and then they pretty much fall off the face of the Earth is one of those wtf situations. I don't know if I should contact her and tell her how much I miss her, or if I should ask her cousin for advice, or just let it go.. I'm really confused by the entire situation.

 

I'm just looking for some helpful opinions on what I should do next. Constructive criticism is welcome, but if you're just going to be an ******* don't even bother replying. BTW I'm 22 and she's 20. Thanks for reading!!

[sanchez88]

i think its better for u to tell her how u really miss her, just express ur feelings towards her, how much u miss her. at least let her noe, rather than both of u dont noe ur feelings towards each other, and just leave things hanging just like that....

just tell her how much u miss her, and see how it goes

if she miss u as much as u do... then i think its worth to keep things going...

 

but if she doesnt miss u as much as u do, or u can tell that she doesnt miss u at all,

i suggest u better leave her alone,

it really sucks to miss for sumbodi and that person doenst miss u as much, in the end u will suffer...

im 22 too.. im learning too... so i think the best for u is, just tell her how u really feel and see how it goes...

 

all the best ma prend...

[samantha_123]

Okay, here's the story..

 

In July a good friend of mine was coming home from France and introduced me to her cousin at a get together -- Her cousin and I hit it off. Now it's December and we're not seeing or talking to each other much anymore.

 

In early November I feel like I may have scared her away when I asked her if we should be exclusive. I felt like it was the right thing to say because we were having sex and I wasn't interested in having a sexual relationship with anyone else. That night she agreed, but later on that week she told me that she wasn't really sure anymore. And I respect that, I've been completely single for about two and a half years now (none of that on/off bs). We both agreed it's easier to be single than to be in a relationship. I don't have the right or want to pressure her into doing anything she doesn't want to do, like being in a relationship. I also didn't want to appear like I was someone that needs a relationship, I don't. I've been doing fine on my own since coming out of a three year relationship that ended with my ex cheating on me (typical). Anyway, when she changed her mind is the time I decided to back off and give whatever it is we have some space. On a side note, at her apartment she once asked me, "what are we?"

 

I responded just two people that enjoy each others company and are very attracted to each other -- She laughed, smiled and agreed.

 

Now it's the first week of December.. I haven't seen her in three weeks because I've been busy visiting friends and family out of state for the holidays and our work schedules tend to conflict during the week. We haven't really had a conversation in over a week. I'm wondering if I should just let this go by the wayside or fight for her. I kind of miss this girl, but I've been alone for a few years now and I'm used to it. On the other hand this girl definitely meets my relationship standards which is why I was willing to fight for her. Just throwing this out there, I've been sleeping like **** and I think it's because she's been on my mind a lot lately. After talking to someone pretty much every day, seeing them once or twice a week since July and then they pretty much fall off the face of the Earth is one of those wtf situations. I don't know if I should contact her and tell her how much I miss her, or if I should ask her cousin for advice, or just let it go.. I'm really confused by the entire situation.

 

I'm just looking for some helpful opinions on what I should do next. Constructive criticism is welcome, but if you're just going to be an ******* don't even bother replying. BTW I'm 22 and she's 20. Thanks for reading!!

 

 

As much as it hurts I think you should let her go... She doesnt feel the same way as you do because if she did she would make more of an effort to be with you. It sounds like you are a bit loney and focusing on her way to much. Why did you get so attached to her right away? Why havent you had another long term relationship? My advice to you for next time would be is to built a relationship first before you sleep with somebody. Because it wont be as hard to let them go. And get so emotionally involved....

[DuskCrush]

In these kinds of situation...no one can really advise you. Only you can know what you want to do...so search your heart...explore the depth of your emotion and the answer will be clear.