colliejoanie Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 And M is P_ssed. How can he be mad at me??? HE told me he wanted to be friends for now. He said he's not ready for a relationship. I asked what that means for "us" and he couldn't tell me. So, I got back on a dating site. I've been talking to a few people, but haven't actually met anyone. I really don't have it in me. I LIKE M, but I feel like he's giving me the runaround. And then I get a text tonight from him. "NICE. K was on Plenty of fish and saw your profile. Thanks". Then he called. Very upset. I let him know that I like him. That I've been very upfront and honest with him about that, and in asking him where we stand. That I'm willing to wait for him to figure his stuff out. But I have no idea how he feels about me. Long story short........Was I wrong to be on a dating site if he's told me we can only be friends and he doesn't know when/if that'll change???
hoping2heal Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 And M is P_ssed. How can he be mad at me??? HE told me he wanted to be friends for now. He said he's not ready for a relationship. I asked what that means for "us" and he couldn't tell me. So, I got back on a dating site. I've been talking to a few people, but haven't actually met anyone. I really don't have it in me. I LIKE M, but I feel like he's giving me the runaround. And then I get a text tonight from him. "NICE. K was on Plenty of fish and saw your profile. Thanks". Then he called. Very upset. I let him know that I like him. That I've been very upfront and honest with him about that, and in asking him where we stand. That I'm willing to wait for him to figure his stuff out. But I have no idea how he feels about me. Long story short........Was I wrong to be on a dating site if he's told me we can only be friends and he doesn't know when/if that'll change??? No you aren't wrong and quite frankly I'd run like hell from anyone who tried to make me feel guilty about it, considering. I don't know if this guy is just plain really immature, has control issues, is unstable, or what - but no, never ever should you be expected nor should you allow yourself to put your own life on hold for someone else let alone someone who tells you they only want to be friends, and then tries to give you a guilt trip about dating. Really??!! Some people
DreamInside Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 You have every right to be on a dating site. He is trying to have his cake and eat too while starving you.
whichwayisup Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 tell him "what am I supposed to do? i like you alot, yet you don't like me enough to want to date me , or get serious. "
SoleMate Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 He's completely out of line. (I'm surprised you even felt the need to ask.)
xpaperxcutx Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 He doesn't want but he also doesn't want others to have you.... pretty selfish of him really.
BobSacamento Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 I guess you can respond back with: "Well now you know where you can find me."
xpaperxcutx Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 I guess you can respond back with: "Well now you know where you can find me." Bob you always have the best responses. Marry me.
threebyfate Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Dog in the manger. Some guys seem more prone to this. They don't want you but no one else can have you either. Silly. I can't believe you said you'd wait for him to sort things out.
Author colliejoanie Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 Dog in the manger. Some guys seem more prone to this. They don't want you but no one else can have you either. Silly. I can't believe you said you'd wait for him to sort things out. Well, I do like him. And I'm THAT girl that will see potential, and not proof. Back up.....I WAS that girl. We had another "discussion", actually three more. He told me that seeing me on that site was like finding out that his ex had cheated (which is what he's trying to deal with right now). I get that. But I'm not able to be on this friggin roller coaster any more. So, we're DONE and done. Pretty sad for me because again, I do like him, but it's a good experience to learn from. I have major trust issues as well that played into everything..... Anyway, Bob........you make me laugh. Thanks!
threebyfate Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 I also used to be someone who saw potential and accommodated for it. After a couple of figurative knifings through the heart, I learned to stop looking for potential and to start looking for the here and now. Can't deliver, sayonara. One of the best lessons ever learned in life!
phineas Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 No you aren't wrong and quite frankly I'd run like hell from anyone who tried to make me feel guilty about it, considering. I don't know if this guy is just plain really immature, has control issues, is unstable, or what - but no, never ever should you be expected nor should you allow yourself to put your own life on hold for someone else let alone someone who tells you they only want to be friends, and then tries to give you a guilt trip about dating. Really??!! Some people Yep. Last woman I "dated" was like this. she couldn't seem to decide if she wanted to date me or not. But expected me not to date anybody while she figured it out. More like she wanted me to save her place in line while she mingled. LOL!
hoping2heal Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Well, I do like him. And I'm THAT girl that will see potential, and not proof. Back up.....I WAS that girl. We had another "discussion", actually three more. He told me that seeing me on that site was like finding out that his ex had cheated (which is what he's trying to deal with right now). I get that. But I'm not able to be on this friggin roller coaster any more. So, we're DONE and done. Pretty sad for me because again, I do like him, but it's a good experience to learn from. I have major trust issues as well that played into everything..... Anyway, Bob........you make me laugh. Thanks! Okay well, I'm glad you realise it's time to move on from this guy. You going on a dating site after the guy you are interested in says he only wants friendship is nothing, not even close to the equivalent of - someone cheating on their partner in a relationship. He shouldn't even bother thinking about dating until he gets his head on straight because he is still seeing things in a very skewed manner.
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