Funf Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 I've been dating a guy for little over a month now, so not too long. I've dated and been in relationships with many guys in the past, but I've never felt this way before. We instantly clicked and nothing seems forced. I'm introverted but it's so easy to talk to him. He says that we are very compatible and I have to agree with him. But right now times are a little rough. It's the end of the semester for both of us and we both have presentations, projects, exams, etc. Then, of course, there's Christmas and New Year's and we both have to fulfill our family/friend obligations. We're not seeing each other that often recently and I know there's nothing that can be done about that. The next time I see him, a span of 10 days will have elapsed between that time and our last date. At first, I was okay with all this. When we get together, we really enjoy each other's company. Time always seems to fly by and it makes the wait worth it. Also when we're together, he makes it clear that he wants to see me again and we talk about future things. But since it's been a while since I last saw him, my mind is starting to go down dark avenues. I'm starting to compare us to my friends who talk to the people that they're dating on their phones every day and see each other every other day. I just have a big fear that with everything going on that he's going to forget about me and move on. As the saying goes "Out of sight, out of mind." What can I do?
refurb Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 A few points: 1. Just because you don't behave the same way when in a relationship as your friends (talking everyday), doesn't mean your relationship isn't just as strong/healthy. 2. If the both of you feel the same way, it's unlikely that he'll succumb to "out of sight, out of mind". When I really click with a girl, all I can think of is her and when I'm going to see her next. 3. Why not shoot him a quick email or text? Don't do it because your trying to keep him interested, make it genuine. If you know something is happening in his life, ask him about it. Open up some lines of communication. Good luck! RF
refurb Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 (edited) Duplicate Post. Edited December 4, 2010 by refurb I'm stupid
youngskywalker Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 But since it's been a while since I last saw him, my mind is starting to go down dark avenues. I just have a big fear that with everything going on that he's going to forget about me and move on. As the saying goes "Out of sight, out of mind." What can I do? There isn't a whole lot you CAN do but there are some things you SHOULDN'T do. Don't let your mind go down those dark avenues and definitely don't let your emotions cause you to react. Remember this... guys do like to chase! It seems like you've expressed interest in him; that's good. I wouldn't do a whole lot more. If this guy really likes you then your short time apart will make him miss you. Don't be afraid to LET him miss you. You can't expect that after one month you're going to be talking on the phone every day. Yeah, I've had relationships that after one week we were talking every day but adults or people that are really busy (like you are with school) don't always invest that much so fast.
whichwayisup Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 You are so full of doubt. Why? I've been dating a guy for little over a month now, so not too long. I've dated and been in relationships with many guys in the past, but I've never felt this way before. We instantly clicked and nothing seems forced. I'm introverted but it's so easy to talk to him. He says that we are very compatible and I have to agree with him. But right now times are a little rough. It's the end of the semester for both of us and we both have presentations, projects, exams, etc. Then, of course, there's Christmas and New Year's and we both have to fulfill our family/friend obligations. We're not seeing each other that often recently and I know there's nothing that can be done about that. The next time I see him, a span of 10 days will have elapsed between that time and our last date. At first, I was okay with all this. When we get together, we really enjoy each other's company. Time always seems to fly by and it makes the wait worth it. Also when we're together, he makes it clear that he wants to see me again and we talk about future things. But since it's been a while since I last saw him, my mind is starting to go down dark avenues. I'm starting to compare us to my friends who talk to the people that they're dating on their phones every day and see each other every other day. I just have a big fear that with everything going on that he's going to forget about me and move on. As the saying goes "Out of sight, out of mind." Read the bold parts. Trust that. It's only been a month, you two aren't at the stage to talk daily. That's OK. I doubt very much he's going to forget about you!! Have some faith.
Author Funf Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 You are so full of doubt. Why? Read the bold parts. Trust that. It's only been a month, you two aren't at the stage to talk daily. That's OK. I doubt very much he's going to forget about you!! Have some faith.Part of the problem is that he has a lot of great friends that are all really close to each other. I haven't met his friends but this seems to be the picture that he paints. I have a hard time trying to see where I fit into this picture. I don't see what I can give him that he can't get from his friends. Since he has so many friends, especially some good females friends, I don't see what makes me so special that he will want to continue to pursue me. There's nothing that sets me apart. The last guy I was with and I moved really fast. We were talking every day and seeing each other most days out of the week...within one month of dating. I never had to worry whether or not he'd forget about me. I just don't know. I want these bad feelings to stop
Author Funf Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 Would it be okay to shoot him a small email wishing him good luck for a project that's due Monday or would that seem too clingy/needy?
westrock Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 I don't see what makes me so special that he will want to continue to pursue me. There's nothing that sets me apart. Just because you can't see what sets you apart does not mean that he sees it that way. Would it be okay to shoot him a small email wishing him good luck for a project that's due Monday or would that seem too clingy/needy? Yes, send it to him. Keep it brief.
youngskywalker Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Would it be okay to shoot him a small email wishing him good luck for a project that's due Monday or would that seem too clingy/needy? What you're really asking is this; should I break contact with him. The answer is NO! If you try to portray yourself as not interested then he will read it as such. Just go with the flow. If you do decide to shoot him the email, then leave it and wait for him to contact you again. It's a tic for tat game. You do have to give a LITTLE up in this process. I'd say give him a casual email and then wait. You do have to show some interest in him. Just don't give more then he is giving at the same time.
Author Funf Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 (edited) What you're really asking is this; should I break contact with him. The answer is NO! If you try to portray yourself as not interested then he will read it as such. Just go with the flow. If you do decide to shoot him the email, then leave it and wait for him to contact you again. It's a tic for tat game. You do have to give a LITTLE up in this process. I'd say give him a casual email and then wait. You do have to show some interest in him. Just don't give more then he is giving at the same time.I'll opt not to email him... He did say that he wanted to have a date either Monday or Tuesday so I'll wait and let him decide when to call me. I don't know why I have to make this all so difficult. It seems like he makes most of the phone calls so that worries me that he thinks I'm uninterested but I don't want to bother him since his schedule is really tight this week. However, whenever he calls, I always answer the phone and I think I do display interest (or at least I hope) on the phone. I laugh with him and joke around and the conversation flows really well. Again, I don't know why I'm making this difficult and overanalyzing everything. In past relationships, I fluctuated from being too clingy and too cold so I'm doing the best I can to stay somewhere in the middle. I'm just really finding it hard to find that happy medium because all I do is worry. Edited December 4, 2010 by Funf
youngskywalker Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I don't know why I have to make this all so difficult. Honestly, from what you have described I don't think you have anything to worry about. It seems like a natural and healthy start to a relationship.
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