qinboxmail Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I've been with my gf for three months. She doesn't want it until marriage. She dated many guys before however she's still a virgin (that's what she told me). Anyway, she thinks that I should wait until marriage. How do you handle this situation smoothly ? I mean I want to do it because I want to enjoy spending time with her and feels close to her. Thanks
Knittress Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 What to do? You have to decide what you want more - her or the sex. But do NOT, under any circumstances, imply that there's anything wrong with her for not putting out or make her feel crappy about herself. Just make up your mind soon because toying with her heart is jerk-ful.
uncool Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 What do you mean "how do you handle that situation?" she sounds like she has her head on strait. Have you never gone out with a classy chick who actually has morals before? If you're planning to get married then you shouldn't have a problem with it. Do you want to marry a slut that you can't trust & might cheat on you? Can't you be with her without boning her? if you think you have a hard time controlling yourself "Unload your gun" before you go out with her to see if that helps She's testing you to see if you might be husband type material or if you just want only her body how old are you?
SmileFace Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 What do you mean "how do you handle that situation?" she sounds like she has her head on strait. Have you never gone out with a classy chick who actually has morals before? If you're planning to get married then you shouldn't have a problem with it. Do you want to marry a slut that you can't trust & might cheat on you? Can't you be with her without boning her? if you think you have a hard time controlling yourself "Unload your gun" before you go out with her to see if that helps She's testing you to see if you might be husband type material or if you just want only her body how old are you? Yes, because abstaining from sex before marriage means that she is to be trusted and won't cheat .Yes, Morals ! lol Why do you have to handle this situation. She is no more wrong than you for wanting to have sex before marriage. How about you find someone who is looking for the same as yourself. Staying in this relationship will not be far to her or yourself.
musemaj11 Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 What do you mean "how do you handle that situation?" she sounds like she has her head on strait. Have you never gone out with a classy chick who actually has morals before? If you're planning to get married then you shouldn't have a problem with it. Do you want to marry a slut that you can't trust & might cheat on you? Can't you be with her without boning her? if you think you have a hard time controlling yourself "Unload your gun" before you go out with her to see if that helps She's testing you to see if you might be husband type material or if you just want only her body how old are you? He is obviously not in his 50s like you ... These days, women wont even marry a man unless they get to 'test drive' him first.
Author qinboxmail Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 He is obviously not in his 50s like you ... These days, women wont even marry a man unless they get to 'test drive' him first. i'm around 26
xpaperxcutx Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 The question is why have you managed to stay in a relationship with her for 3 months? If she doesnt believe in sex before marriage, chances are she had already told you from the very beginning before the two of you became exclusive. If you had know about this from day one, why had you agreed to date her knowing she won't sleep with you? If anything, I bet you entered the relationship thinking you could change her mind.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 she sounds like she has her head on strait. Have you never gone out with a classy chick who actually has morals before? If you're planning to get married then you shouldn't have a problem with it. Do you want to marry a slut that you can't trust & might cheat on you? "Morals" have nothing to do with this. Sex before marriage isn't immoral. There's nothing wrong with her views on premarital sex. They're her views, and they're evidently strong views. She's entitled to them. But, you're also entitled to your views, which are just as valid as hers. So, the possible outcomes are these: 1. One of you changes their views to be equivalent to the other person's. 2. You compromise on something you can both live with until after marriage (oral, e.g.). 3. You accept that the two of you are simply incompatible. Which is nobody's fault; sometimes it's just the way it is. Know this, though: contrary to what some people may tell you, you're not a sleazeball just for wanting to have sex with your GF of three months. And a girl isn't a slut just because she has sex with a guy not to long after meeting him. Sex isn't the only important thing in a relationship, but it's pretty damned important. Personally, I wouldn't wait until marriage to have sex with somebody -- what if you discover, after marriage, that the two of you are incompatible? Then there's a huge aspect of your married life that's unfulfilling.
fishtaco Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 If anything, I bet you entered the relationship thinking you could change her mind. This. But hopefully she's a technical virgin. Hard to imagine anyone would actually do the no sex till marriage thing these days.
Author qinboxmail Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 The question is why have you managed to stay in a relationship with her for 3 months? If she doesnt believe in sex before marriage, chances are she had already told you from the very beginning before the two of you became exclusive. If you had know about this from day one, why had you agreed to date her knowing she won't sleep with you? If anything, I bet you entered the relationship thinking you could change her mind. I already know that since the beginning. We cuddle and kiss and everything. It just leads to sex. We do other physical things together but never sex. Just that thins she does lead me wanting to have sex with her.
AverageJoe Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 What to do? You have to decide what you want more - her or the sex. But do NOT, under any circumstances, imply that there's anything wrong with her for not putting out or make her feel crappy about herself. Just make up your mind soon because toying with her heart is jerk-ful. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do not imply there is something wrong? Are you kidding me? Yes, you have to be kidding. This game she is playing pales in comparison to what you are suggesting he not do! She is toying with him! Hey pal, yeah you qinboxmail. If you want to live the rest of your days submitting to a women that can play the game of witholding sex from you anytime she desires as a device to get what she wants. Live it up! That is what is going to happen. If I were you I would kick her ass through the uprights. Otherwise, later on you will be left questioning yourself why you had to stray. Hell, you dont even know if it is any good to begin with. Wow!!
fishtaco Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 I already know that since the beginning. We cuddle and kiss and everything. It just leads to sex. We do other physical things together but never sex. Just that thins she does lead me wanting to have sex with her. Yeah. Some women like to do that. That's called a tease. I don't know if this applies to your situation, but for me, if I'm dating a woman, and she says no sex until xyz condition is met, usually until we're exclusive, then I'd say, ok, no spending the night at each other's place, no fooling around, until we're both ready for sex. Basically, if you know sex isn't going to happen, then don't pretend it's going to happen. They have their rules, well, so do I.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 This. But hopefully she's a technical virgin. Hard to imagine anyone would actually do the no sex till marriage thing these days. You're kidding me right? There are actually people who save themselves for marriage, it's a rare thing but it happens.
AverageJoe Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 You're kidding me right? There are actually people who save themselves for marriage, it's a rare thing but it happens. I imagine he isnt. Maybe you are kidding yourself. You do know why it is rare, dont you?
xpaperxcutx Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 I imagine he isnt. Maybe you are kidding yourself. You do know why it is rare, dont you? I don't mean rare in the obselete sense but rare in that there are people who place as lesss value in being physically intimate in a relationship than they do emotionally. And those relationships are as successful as the ones where sex is the central point of keeping two people together. A perfect example, my cousin. Virgin at 27, but was married a year ago to her husband, and I can tell you, right now, she's smart and beautiful.
AverageJoe Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 I don't mean rare in the obselete sense but rare in that there are people who place as lesss value in being physically intimate in a relationship than they do emotionally. And those relationships are as successful as the ones where sex is the central point of keeping two people together. A perfect example, my cousin. Virgin at 27, but was married a year ago to her husband, and I can tell you, right now, she's smart and beautiful. I dont know what this has to do with him. Missing the dots. Here is a litmus test. Next date you are on, tell your date you will never, ever have sex with him. Ever. If it isnt a central point, you will get a second date.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 I dont know what this has to do with him. Missing the dots. Here is a litmus test. Next date you are on, tell your date you will never, ever have sex with him. Ever. If it isnt a central point, you will get a second date. This whole thread is about him... The point I'm trying to make is there are sexless relationships. Period. But obviously the OP is clashing with his gf because he wants sex but she doesn't. They're not compatible. If he doesn't mind being celibate until marriage go for it. Obviously I'm not one to condone trying to force or manipulating anyone into sleeping with me.
Pfiend101 Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Personally I would move on. I wouldn't buy a car before I test drive it. Who is to say that she wont want to have a lot of sex once shes married..... or has issues with sex. It's her personal choice so either wait or move on.... bottom line.
musemaj11 Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Even male monkeys won't trade resources if they know they won't get sexual access in return. Many male humans r stupider than monkeys. I hope u haven't invested much in her. Be smarter than a monkey bro.
Enema Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I'd stick around if she was one of those girls that keep the vag sacred but offer up the dirt track, nomsayin?
lamaman3 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 What do you mean "how do you handle that situation?" she sounds like she has her head on strait. Have you never gone out with a classy chick who actually has morals before? If you're planning to get married then you shouldn't have a problem with it. Do you want to marry a slut that you can't trust & might cheat on you? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
irc333 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Personally, I wouldn't wait until marriage to have sex with somebody -- what if you discover, after marriage, that the two of you are incompatible? Then there's a huge aspect of your married life that's unfulfilling. Personally, this might not be entirely accurate....that "test driving" the goods before marriage is something someone should do BEFORE marriage...I think there's a myth saying, if you DID wait, that your marriage will turn out crappy. I think this is a misconception. TO agree to this , says something about someone's state of mind, the attitude and what you're holding onto as you enter marriage that you'll make it work. Personally, I think if things start out bumpy at first....practice makes perfect. You can work on this kind of thing in the bedroom and have YEARS to improve on such a thing.
Distant78 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I'd stick around if she was one of those girls that keep the vag sacred but offer up the dirt track, nomsayin? LOL!! Wow...
Knittress Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do not imply there is something wrong? Are you kidding me? Yes, you have to be kidding. This game she is playing pales in comparison to what you are suggesting he not do! She is toying with him! Hey pal, yeah you qinboxmail. If you want to live the rest of your days submitting to a women that can play the game of witholding sex from you anytime she desires as a device to get what she wants. Live it up! That is what is going to happen. If I were you I would kick her ass through the uprights. Otherwise, later on you will be left questioning yourself why you had to stray. Hell, you dont even know if it is any good to begin with. Wow!! ::shrug:: I thought they were teenagers. I, and most of the women I know went through a 'waiting for marriage' phase - even the sl*ttiest of the bunch (who is now married, btw). Most folks settle into a more 'what's the point in holding out while life passes by' attitude during college, and those that don't? Well, I'd suspect there isn't much fire going on in that furnace... Some folks are cool with that. I'm sure not. But that's no reason to be unkind about her or her beliefs.
AverageJoe Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 ::shrug:: I thought they were teenagers. I, and most of the women I know went through a 'waiting for marriage' phase - even the sl*ttiest of the bunch (who is now married, btw). Most folks settle into a more 'what's the point in holding out while life passes by' attitude during college, and those that don't? Well, I'd suspect there isn't much fire going on in that furnace... Some folks are cool with that. I'm sure not. But that's no reason to be unkind about her or her beliefs. Oh, I agree with you completely. Its not her fault at all, it is HIS. But to hint that he should not do anything about it, is just counter-productive. After three months of struggle he has turned into the very thing he was after. A pussy.
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