StarryEyes86 Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I met this guy online who is an airline pilot and after about a month of texting, he asked me out on a date. I went on a date with this guy about two weeks ago. We went out to sushi and then we went to the beach and made out a little and then he said he wanted to see me again and that he would get in touch with me about a second date. The day after, I didn't hear from him at all. I figured he was busy with flights so a few days later, I sent him a text wishing him a safe flying day. Still no response. Then a week ago, around the time we were expected to go out again, I sent another text just saying hi. He didn't respond so I assumed things were over and fizzled out. But then he finally responded, telling me he was busy with work and that he got a job promotion to fly bigger planes and that he'd be leaving for flight training for six weeks and then transferring to another airport in another city and state. I texted him back telling him congrats and that I was a little bummed. He then told me he was bummed too and that he was looking forward to hooking up with me. I figured, okay, since he's leaving, might as well get some fun out of it. We exchanged dirty texts and pictures...it was fun and hot. So a few days ago, we got together and messed around a bit (no sex) and then he wanted to make plans again for one more date before he left. I had already closed off a bit and just in it for the physical part since he was leaving, but he also just wanted to chat and even gave me a good night kiss. This time he gave me a specific day as well for our date. So day after...I sent him a casual text from work saying we had a power outage (just trying to chat). No response. And then yesterday, the day we were supposed to go out, I didn't hear from him all day. I decided to call him before I headed off to class and find out if we were still on for that night. About an hour later, he texts me and telling me (again) that he was busy studying and prepping for flight school and that he needs to cancel our date so he can get study material from a coworker and then apologized. I was done. I sent him one last text just saying not to worry about it and if I didn't see or talk to him before he left, I wanted to wish him good luck with everything and to take care of himself. I figured it was done and over. Then he texts back, "Ok thanks! I'll be in touch." I haven't responded, and I don't know if I should. So I'm looking at this and thinking, WTF? I was wanting to know...it's pretty obvious it's over and I shouldn't expect to hear from him, am I correct? What exactly is going on in his head? I'd love to know what was going on on his side of this. My past experience has been if a guy wasn't interested, then they ignore you even after you try to contact them...and that's all fine and dandy. It just seems that every time I gave up on the guy, he would contact me. He seemed like a really nice guy and we really clicked and had good chemistry. Any insight and/or advice would be great. Thanks!
ReadyforLove Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I was wanting to know...it's pretty obvious it's over and I shouldn't expect to hear from him, am I correct? What exactly is going on in his head? I'd love to know what was going on on his side of this. My past experience has been if a guy wasn't interested, then they ignore you even after you try to contact them...and that's all fine and dandy. It just seems that every time I gave up on the guy, he would contact me. He seemed like a really nice guy and we really clicked and had good chemistry. Well it would be pretty hard for him to ignore you since you kept texting him over and over. A rule of thumb, send ONE text and if he doesn't respond, do NOT text again. It just makes you look really desperate. His interest level wasn't very high until the end when you began to hint at possibly boinking him. You need to consider this one a loss and keep it moving.
Author StarryEyes86 Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 Fair enough. Lesson learned. Thanks for the advice
nice-easy-day Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 But then he finally responded, telling me he was busy with work and that he got a job promotion to fly bigger planes and that he'd be leaving for flight training for six weeks and then transferring to another airport in another city and state. I texted him back telling him congrats and that I was a little bummed. He then told me he was bummed too and that he was looking forward to hooking up with me. I figured, okay, since he's leaving, might as well get some fun out of it. We exchanged dirty texts and pictures...it was fun and hot. So he's out of town right now... and will be moving to a different town in the future. You know it's just a fling so I don't see what the problem is here. Why not just text him and tell him you want to have some fun when he comes back in town for awhile? You're treating this like a potential relationship, which it's not from what you said. Don't expect him to treat you like a g/f. He knows that and so do you.
Author StarryEyes86 Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 So he's out of town right now... and will be moving to a different town in the future. You know it's just a fling so I don't see what the problem is here. Why not just text him and tell him you want to have some fun when he comes back in town for awhile? You're treating this like a potential relationship, which it's not from what you said. Don't expect him to treat you like a g/f. He knows that and so do you. Oh wow...I didn't see it as a potential relationship at all, especially since I'm not looking into anything long term and just casually dating people. I guess the problem was that I would think he wasn't interested, but then he'd contact me and then after tentatively planning a date, he backed out. I guess I felt like my chain was being pulled a bit. I was seeing it as a fling as well. I guess I could see how it could be perceived otherwise...oh well. Can't change the past. I'm not going to text him back though. Thanks for the suggestion
nice-easy-day Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 (edited) Oh wow...I didn't see it as a potential relationship at all, especially since I'm not looking into anything long term and just casually dating people. I guess the problem was that I would think he wasn't interested, but then he'd contact me and then after tentatively planning a date, he backed out. I guess I felt like my chain was being pulled a bit. I was seeing it as a fling as well. I guess I could see how it could be perceived otherwise...oh well. Can't change the past. I'm not going to text him back though. Thanks for the suggestion I don't really see why you wouldn't text him back. You already sent dirty texts and pictures. Stop treating this like a game. It's not. When he's back in town and the both of you have nothing to do one night and both of you are horny you're going to hook up. He's knows that's all it is, you do to. So treat it that way. The best thing you could do, is if you know what day he's coming back to town, text him a day or two before he comes back. That will keep things fresh in his mind and he'll come to you. Easy as apple pie. Mind you: I don't promote this kind of loose behavior, I'm just telling you how to do it for informational purposes only. Edited December 3, 2010 by nice-easy-day
Author StarryEyes86 Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 (edited) I don't really see why you wouldn't text him back. You already sent dirty texts and pictures. Stop treating this like a game. It's not. When he's back in town and the both of you have nothing to do one night and both of you are horny you're going to hook up. He's knows that's all it is, you do to. So treat it that way. The best thing you could do, is if you know what day he's coming back to town, text him a day or two before he comes back. That will keep things fresh in his mind and he'll come to you. Easy as apple pie. Mind you: I don't promote this kind of loose behavior, I'm just telling you how to do it for informational purposes only. LOL, well I'm not one of those "loose" chicks either. I'm really picky when it comes to guys and I can count my partners on one hand...but anyway, going off of what ReadyForLove said, I don't want to come across as desperate, even in a hookup/**** buddy fling. I figure, he has my number and if he really wants to hookup, he'll know where to find me. Unless you have an alternative/non-seem-so-desperate way to go about this (plus I don't even know how to really respond to something like, "I'll be in touch")...I'll go on my merry way and move on. Edited December 3, 2010 by StarryEyes86
nice-easy-day Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 LOL, well I'm not one of those "loose" chicks either. I'm really picky when it comes to guys and I can count my partners on one hand. That's great. I believe you that your history doesn't qualify you as a "loose" chick. But what you're doing now does qualify you as a "loose" chick. Maybe you need to go back and read your OP and ask yourself if that's what you really want.
Author StarryEyes86 Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 (edited) That's great. I believe you that your history doesn't qualify you as a "loose" chick. But what you're doing now does qualify you as a "loose" chick. Maybe you need to go back and read your OP and ask yourself if that's what you really want. You and I probably have different definitions of loose women. It's a moot point anyway so it's not worth arguing, plus you have a point. But thanks for the advice and I'll rethink about what my original post said. No worries... Edited December 4, 2010 by StarryEyes86
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