tobydog Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Well after a few weeks of being stronger he has been today to take all his stuff and stock. My mum was here so she had a short chat with him. Just about debts etc He returned the keys, ignored his son and so that is it. The garage is empty and I am back at square one crying and heartbroken. I drove him away and it is all my fault. I can't bear the guilt, I thought he would come back but no, never, my mum said she could tell he was done with me and his life with me. How can I accept this? I still can't.....I can't believe what a total selfish fool I have been and how he has just gone from our lives. I miss him and realise I love him, but I didn't show him that. I can't bear this anymore, it's like I have to go thro the last 12 weeks all over again.......
willowthewisp Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 No, I will not let you go down the path I have been, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Sending you a massive hug. Keep posting hun.
Author tobydog Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 Thanks Willow How can I accept it is over? Like a fool I think he will wake up and regret this? Hugs to you too xxx Debbie
SlevinKalebra Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Well after a few weeks of being stronger he has been today to take all his stuff and stock. My mum was here so she had a short chat with him. Just about debts etc He returned the keys, ignored his son and so that is it. The garage is empty and I am back at square one crying and heartbroken. I drove him away and it is all my fault. I can't bear the guilt, I thought he would come back but no, never, my mum said she could tell he was done with me and his life with me. How can I accept this? I still can't.....I can't believe what a total selfish fool I have been and how he has just gone from our lives. I miss him and realise I love him, but I didn't show him that. I can't bear this anymore, it's like I have to go thro the last 12 weeks all over again....... Toby, we all look at our roles in a relationship dying. It's not easy but it is important. That said, stop taking the blame for everything. The line in bold from your original post speaks volumes as to his character. Be strong for yourself and son. You will get through this.
Author tobydog Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 Well he sent me a nasty text last night telling me to get lost. I think he will report me to the police for harrassment even tho I only mailed to let him know he could see his son....Help I am back to shaking and having panic attacks
worlybear Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Say to yourself- HE IS A GIT. He has treated you and your son like crap and you do NOT deserve this! He is the one with the problem-not you. Don't bother texting him and go completely non-contact. It is up to him now to make arrangements to see his son if he wants to. Focus on yourself and your son. Go and see the doc for some meds to help you for the moment. Thinking of you. Hugs:bunny::bunny:
Author tobydog Posted December 5, 2010 Author Posted December 5, 2010 Thanks Wbear! Hugs to you too!xxx It's hard to accept he hates me and is going for the house and his son, who he has barely acknowledged the last 12 weeks. I feel so bad again, it's just become so acrimonious......
willowthewisp Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 (edited) Debbie, have you seen a good Family solicitor? They may be able to write a letter to your husband asking him to attend mediation to set up a contact schedule with your son. If he ignores this, then going for custody will be very difficult as the judge can see he has made no attempt to formalise arrangements. In addition, this will allow you to be able to go NC with him and when you are asked why you did, you just produce all the nasty, visious and abusive emails, text messages he has sent when you have tried to arrange contact for your son. Edited December 5, 2010 by willowthewisp
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