Anybody know when someones true colors begin to surface???

[poorguy]

I'm just wondering-it's sort of a general question. I've been seeing a girl now for like 4.5 months and she's met my family, I've met hers. We've introduced each other to our friends-all of that. It of course started out amazingly but now she's begining to kind of become bitchy and bossy.

 

My ex girlfriend has been dating her new guy for I think six months and she's complaining about how verbally abusive he is and emotional and a terrible temper, but they moved in together so her fate is sealed for now I guess lol

 

So what's everyone's elses experience with this?? Did it go too fast to soon with you?? What and when did the negative begin to come out

[qinboxmail]

I'm just wondering-it's sort of a general question. I've been seeing a girl now for like 4.5 months and she's met my family, I've met hers. We've introduced each other to our friends-all of that. It of course started out amazingly but now she's begining to kind of become bitchy and bossy.

 

My ex girlfriend has been dating her new guy for I think six months and she's complaining about how verbally abusive he is and emotional and a terrible temper, but they moved in together so her fate is sealed for now I guess lol

 

So what's everyone's elses experience with this?? Did it go too fast to soon with you?? What and when did the negative begin to come out

 

 

My gf is being bitchy and bossy with me today. OMG. I hate it. When she says something I have to listen to her or she'll throw a tantrum for hours.

[nice-easy-day]

In my experience if you spend a lot of time together, in about 3 months you'll see their true colors start to come out.

[carhill]

Guess I should learn to hide my true colors better

 

IME, it's been around 3-5 months, sometimes sooner. When I was younger, the sneak peek was during the lady's 'time of the month'. Rarely was it inaccurate. With my exW, it was when she didn't eat properly (hypoglycemic). Live and learn.

[nice-easy-day]

the sneak peek was during the lady's 'time of the month'. Rarely was it inaccurate.

 

second that.

[hearttobreak]

In about 3 months. I just experienced it. WOW. Did I dodge a bullet from a mad woman.

[Lemontang]

Yeah usually about 3 month. By then they are fairly relaxed and more themselves. But if you want to see true real colours wait until you have a crisis of some sort (death in the family, parents divorce, loss of job, severe illness etc....) You'll get to see a real side of them then and sometimes it's not pretty.

[Distant78]

Yup. About four to six months in and they will show you how they regularly act. If you watch them really closely within the first few dates, you can catch the subtle red alarms...

[alphamale]

What and when did the negative begin to come out

usually right after the first time we had sex

[poorguy]

I know it's a general question. Does anyone ever feel like at that point because you've had some good times and inroduced them already to everyone that getting rid of them is sort of difficult to do?? It's like instead of just getting it over with it begins to drag out. It's like it''s easier to just keep up appearances then just go your own ways???

[Els]

It really depends how much time you spent with each other in the first place and the dynamics of the R (casual/committed, etc).

 

My experience has been 6 months - 1 year for the first flaws to surface. I don't think it is solely attributable to 'revealing one's true colors', but more the fact that BOTH partners are putting in less effort to be a good partner than they do at the beginning. Rose-tinted glasses also fall off, and both of these become a vicious cycle.

[phineas]

I'd say it comes out when they think they have you emotionally & believe you won't walk.

 

The last one I was "with" somehow missed the fact I was divorced due to a wife's infidelity & selfish behavior.

 

It seemed as soon as she knew she "had me" she changed to her true self.

A selfish user.

 

I walked.

 

As for not ending it because you have integrated her into your friends & family?

Please, they probably saw her true colors long before you did.

 

Her family loved me. I wasn't the typical jerk she was always with.

My family....well they weren't too broken up when they learned she wouldn't be coming around anymore. LOL!

[poorguy]

Anybody else have an opinion?? Christ my new girl was amamzing at first but she is really turning into a f-ing nag now!!! So friggin soon too!! Not about my situation though just in general

[pandagirl]

For me, it's two things:

 

1. When they feel emotionally secure with you

 

2. When the relationship was faced with real conflict, and I saw how he choose to deal with it. I feel like hard times will really show true colors.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I show my "true colors" always, I hope; also hope that other people I am involved with do the same.

 

It does take a while to be comfortable enough to let another person know if you're having a bad day, or to show what might not be very pretty emotions. If I subject someone else to some unpleasant fallout due to my own state, I will acknowledge that and apologize or otherwise make amends asap.

 

If your girlfriend is behaving like a beeyotch all over the place now, it sounds like she misrepresented herself and that your relationship with her is not destined to be very much fun.

[daphne]

When I was younger, the sneak peek was during the lady's 'time of the month'. Rarely was it inaccurate.

 

Sadly, that's when I'm at my worst as well.

[daphne]

I guess I've been fortunate. It seems to be around 6 weeks. In hte past it could take me forever to notice but that's why my radar is a bit finer tuned now.