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I keep coming back here. My whole breakup is here, over a bunch of threads I started.

 

I deleted all emails, contacts, connections... Whenever I feel weak, I read all my threads again to be reminded why and how this breakup was incremental, how she let me go bit by bit over months and how cruel that was.

 

When she pounced back on me 1 month ago I could have done the same thing to her, give her hope and then change my mind, and again...

 

I dont have that in me. I had to get rid of all that weight that was on my shoulders.

 

I'm sure she thinks I found someone else and that's the reason I went silent, but I have not. Unlike her, I'm doing this on my own.

 

All those long emails she sent me, all the hurt and pain she's going thru now, the regrets, I went thru it from the start, and alone, and with her in the background feeding me hope first and then pulling the rug from under my feet.

 

At least I'm giving her the peace I so desperately needed from her when it was my turn.

 

Am I doing better? Yes. Am I thinking of you all the time? Yes.

 

I hope that in the end you are happy with your decision to leave and you just panicked because I became unavailable to you after you hurt me enought.

 

Otherwise, you've made the both of us miserable for nothing.

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