Distant78 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 For karnak, distant, and particularly bent, who seems to think that our brains and bodies are all unisex...I said biologically programmed to cheat...I was not saying that our brains are not capable to resist or overcome that urge. Male humans are physically programmed to reproduce just like most other male animals..with a high sperm count, high sex drive, and the ability to take on as many women in a 3 day weekend as the number of hours that I have. Now I don't need some 500K$ government study or the countless number of "click and paste" internet scholars on this forum to tell me what I consider to be common sense. Argue all you want, believe what your gonna believe, tell us men what we are thinking, but it isn't going to change it one bit. As far as the same question goes for women, biologically ...maybe. Mentally, I would not know as I not a woman, nor would I presume to tell them on this forum how they think or feel. Whatever. As I said before, we are all responsible for ALL of our actions. Some phony article is not going to change that. Don't lump me in your biased group. Leave me out of it.
goingstrong Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I think your irksome tirades leave much to be desired. What tirade are you talking about? I find your condescending posts to be irksome as well.
bentnotbroken Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 What tirade are you talking about? I find your condescending posts to be irksome as well. Since you are the only one viewing condescension, maybe your problem would be alleviated by putting me on ignore so my posts can't offend your sensitive nature.
goingstrong Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 (edited) I'm a big boy, I can handle you. Besides, you respond to my posts first, not the other way around. Edited December 5, 2010 by goingstrong
bentnotbroken Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 I'm a big boy, I can handle you. Besides, you respond to my posts first, not the other way around. Playground mentality. Got it.
goingstrong Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 It takes two to tango...your in the gutter as well.
Spark1111 Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Actually, forget the men vrs. women argument re:cheating. It's moot, since a Swiss study done quite a while ago, in an attempt to learn of the miracles of DNA testing, shockingly learned that one-third of all babies in this study were NOT the biological children of the men raising them. Fidelity is always a choice. The higher your level of education, the lower your propensity to cheat. How about that? And you do not need a Ph. D. to understand the dynamics of infidelity. Just read and educate yourself. There is a ton of stuff on the web.
karnak Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 (edited) Fidelity is always a choice. The higher your level of education, the lower your propensity to cheat. I have to disagree on that. I have a degree and I know the academic circles quite well. There are many people with a very high education, who have very successful careers in the science field, who are completely messed-up concerning the standards of couple fidelity and emotional honesty. Social morality is usually learnt at home, not in school or universities. Edited December 6, 2010 by karnak
jthorne Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 And BS's and WS's, and people who have never been any of the 3 Ah, again, you twist my words. Did I say ALL OW? No, I did not. Of course, there are many people here who had not been exposed to infidelity before they were involved, myself one of them. But there is no denying the fact that A NUMBER of people, as I said in my post, have had family member's who either cheated or were long-term AP. As to your post on drug addicts, I will step up and say that I think in a majority of cases, drug addiction is not genetic. Like infidelity, it is the result of poor coping skills. Who is instrumental (but not completely responsible of course) in the development of those coping skills? The parents.
jthorne Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Let's agree with the genetic argument for a moment, and consider what that means. Does it mean that a WS who reconciles will cheat again? Does it mean the WS who leaves and chooses the OW/OM will cheat again? If they are so genetically predispososed, why wouldn't they?
bentnotbroken Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Let's agree with the genetic argument for a moment, and consider what that means. Does it mean that a WS who reconciles will cheat again? Does it mean the WS who leaves and chooses the OW/OM will cheat again? If they are so genetically predispososed, why wouldn't they? Good questions. And what of those who "might" be predisposed who don't cheat, yet have ever opportunity, flirt openly and still don't cross the boundaries?
jthorne Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Good questions. And what of those who "might" be predisposed who don't cheat, yet have ever opportunity, flirt openly and still don't cross the boundaries?Right. Anyone could use the genetic argument to make themselves feel better. My father's side of the family is predisposed to being overweight. So when I chose to eat that piece of dulce de leche cheesecake, I had an excuse, no, explanation, right? Using this predisposition argument, a BS might want to think that they were cheated upon because the WS couldn't help it. Or the WS might say they cheated because they just couldn't help it. The argument doesn't work so well for OW/OM because they want to believe that the WS is cheating because of them and their love and their amazing soulmate connection. They want to believe the WS who leaves for them will never cheat again. So what's the moral of the story? Somewhere down the line, the WS has to ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY for their actions and actually DO something about them.
jthorne Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 One last thought before I finally get my morning coffee: if one chooses to believe the study, it really doesn't bode well for cheaters. Sure, it's an excuse/explanation/whatever word you want to use. However, accepting that on face value means accepting the end result: a genetically predisposed cheater is not good relationship material. Who wants to take the risk on a person that is likely to cheat on them?
Spark1111 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 I have to disagree on that. I have a degree and I know the academic circles quite well. There are many people with a very high education, who have very successful careers in the science field, who are completely messed-up concerning the standards of couple fidelity and emotional honesty. Social morality is usually learnt at home, not in school or universities. Ahh....but then they haven't educated themselves to the fallout of affairs, the self-destruction caused by self-entitlement, or self-loathing. They CHOOSE not to educate themselves on this one specific topic:infidelity. That's different, IMO.
Spark1111 Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 One last thought before I finally get my morning coffee: if one chooses to believe the study, it really doesn't bode well for cheaters. Sure, it's an excuse/explanation/whatever word you want to use. However, accepting that on face value means accepting the end result: a genetically predisposed cheater is not good relationship material. Who wants to take the risk on a person that is likely to cheat on them? Touche! Whether you are a BS or OW/OM.
karnak Posted December 6, 2010 Posted December 6, 2010 Ahh....but then they haven't educated themselves to the fallout of affairs, the self-destruction caused by self-entitlement, or self-loathing. They CHOOSE not to educate themselves on this one specific topic:infidelity. That's different, IMO. Yup. You're right.
jthorne Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 Tony T started the thread. I'm curious what his position is on this?
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