Denial, Anger and all the rest

[Islandsaway]

Going through a break up is NOT fun to say the least. You end up confused and filled to the brim with ALL kinds of emotions. Theres the denial, this isn't happening... so easy to drown yourself in hope. Then theres anger, how could someone I care about and love so much just desert me, how can they not see whats right under there nose ..theres the hows, and why why whys...the tears and the stomping. And then the down right i don't wanna move from my bed depression.

 

I'm stuck somewhere bewteen denial and anger, and half the time think I'm only facing the day because I think he'll figure it out. Then I get mad because he hasn't or wont.

 

How do you sort through all the emotions I just want my life back.

[Hannah]

Honestly just think upon what has happened as for the best. Think positive not negative. I know its easier said then done. so,,,,,,,,

*Go out with your friends.

* Treat yourself to a nice shopping trip.

* If there is things that remind you of him and they make you upset get rid of them or if they are too hard to throw away put them in a box to hide them away and every once in a while you can look back on your relationship positively and have no regrets.

* Try to tell your self that most things happen for a reason and maybe something bigger and better lies for you in the furture.

I hope this helps you

Good luck

[sigh]

what can i say...im in a lot of **** myself..

Anyway, what i cant tell u for sure is that the break up will only be 'successful' if:

*It was an unbearable relationship for u

* If it was a mutual breakup

*If any one of u cheated

*If u hate him enough

 

Any reason other than these will make u keep going back to him/her.

 

Let me know if any more help needed...and what exactly happened...take care baby

[emptydude]

Originally posted by Islandsaway

Going through a break up is NOT fun to say the least. You end up confused and filled to the brim with ALL kinds of emotions. Theres the denial, this isn't happening... so easy to drown yourself in hope. Then theres anger, how could someone I care about and love so much just desert me, how can they not see whats right under there nose ..theres the hows, and why why whys...the tears and the stomping. And then the down right i don't wanna move from my bed depression.

 

I'm stuck somewhere bewteen denial and anger, and half the time think I'm only facing the day because I think he'll figure it out. Then I get mad because he hasn't or wont.

 

How do you sort through all the emotions I just want my life back.

 

That life is over, you need to move on. I actually just got through the bargaining stage, and find myself flip flopping back and forth between stages. Try what Hannah suggested. Your friends are there for you! During difficult times like these, it really gives you an opportunity to see what real friendship is all about. But whatever you do, adhere to the no contact rule. PLEASE! The dumper probably will never come back to you to go back to your old lives, so the only thing your setting up for yourself is more torture. You'll get through this, it just takes time. I'm only still on week one, and I feel alot better than a few days ago. You'll get there, just keep talking to people and you'll feel better.

[Islandsaway]

I met the guy of my dreams, we spent the last year together and it really was great. We travelled and lived together out West, we have very similar personalitys and get along amazingly.

 

I am 24, and he is 20. We seem to keep coming back to the fact that he is 'unsure' about being with me, whether or not he's ready for what we have. He has to figure himeself out and what he wants for himself. HIs biggest concern was that we keep letting opportunities pass so that we can stay together (i.e. travel, job opportunities etc.,) he wants to be able to pick up and leave and not think twice about it...or think about me. So we've broken up.

 

I'm lost, I really fell head over heels for this guy. I feel like I shouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't know completly in his heart he wants to be with me, but I do. I wonder at times though if he is just afraid of what we have, I don't understand how he cannot see what we have together. He says he loves me, and seems really confused about the whole thing himself.

 

We've decided to stay friends, and he talks like someday (2 weeks..or a year who knows...) we'll end up back together. How can I help him, he seems so lost and confused, is this an I'm 20 thing? I don't know what to do. Seeing him is hard, ecspecially when he still treats me the same, tells me he loves me etc., his friends say he still talks about me lots, but he seems almost stubborn that breaking up is the best thing to do.

 

I wish I could just hate him, I wish he was horrible to me, but the truth is he's been sweet and understanding and wants to help me work through what is going on. All I want is for him to realize what we have, it's there somewhere...maybe I'm just hearing what I want to when we talk but I knwo he's having a hard time letting go too... why does he have to do this?

[sigh]

ok sweetie, heres my point of view

 

Firstly, im an advocate of the guy being ATLEAST the same age as u...Not younger (and 4 yrs?)..and ill give u the reason why..

Even puberty hits girls early and guys a few years later..so its nature's way of telling us that this is how it will work best...Guys our age or younger are much immature than us and they need time to grow and be sure of what they want..And i think its only fair.

 

You dont want to be with sumbody who is only half sure that he wants u..u dont rite?

 

Please stick to the NO CONTACT rule....staying friends doesnt help...it increases the torture..Believe me, there will be somebody who will want u and only u and u have to wait for him...What ure feeling for this guy might be love but love has a big chunk of emotional dependency in it...try getting over that...the love part maybe difficult though..

 

Take care and keep updating us..