Lots0fLove Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Hey I am in a Dilemma because my last relasionship was in August and I been single since than but have been dating and everyone I have dated we took it serious and than it clashed, furturmore I don't know how to date with out catching any type of feelings and wanting to rush it a bit cuz I feel like my biological clock is ticking and I know u may think I am pathetic because I am only 23 to feel this way but I do. So I am a very vounerable person so the next person arms that gives me the attention I want I surrender and thinking about it I think its a bad thing I just want to be saved from all my loneliness. Dating and getting to know several different men at a time is so much work and so much getting to know each other u have to basically explain who u r over and over and over again and it never ends and obviously I have not met Mr. Right just yet! What to do?!?! what to do?!?! I need help on how to not be so vounerable and learn how to date with out me thinking so fast into the future. Thanks ahead of time Maria.
Surrealist Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Well, Maria first of all welcome to the forum. I think you have residual issues from your previous relationship, as you have indicated, you have yet to get over. This is causing rebound situations and you are entering relations with the problems as you mention such as wanting to rush things and so on. You may not realise it, but what would be best for you at this time, though everything points otherwise, is to break from dating, or certainly being very proactive toward it, and concentrate on building the foundation of self-esteem and self-love through recovery and activities and any other hobbies that make you happy apart from looking for that in another person. Your relationships will be far more healthy and successful when you enter them as a more whole person rather than a broken person.
Author Lots0fLove Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 first of Thank you for welcoming to the site, I think your right about me needing some distance in time alone with myself I do love myself and I do active activitys to keep me busy and stable not all the time but I do things I love occasionally, when I date men I do let them know what I am looking for and what type of person I am I try to be as free minded loving person as I can be but I am bitter not only from my last relasionship but from everyone who ever double crossed me in the past. I know there is a whole healing process but what I was told from a doctor is dating often is actually healthy but I feel its not cuz I feel hopeless and its just dating. I dont know I am so confused on a lot of things with love and life. Well, Maria first of all welcome to the forum. I think you have residual issues from your previous relationship, as you have indicated, you have yet to get over. This is causing rebound situations and you are entering relations with the problems as you mention such as wanting to rush things and so on. You may not realise it, but what would be best for you at this time, though everything points otherwise, is to break from dating, or certainly being very proactive toward it, and concentrate on building the foundation of self-esteem and self-love through recovery and activities and any other hobbies that make you happy apart from looking for that in another person. Your relationships will be far more healthy and successful when you enter them as a more whole person rather than a broken person.
Surrealist Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 You're certainly not alone with feeling confusion about love and life and relationships. I find myself feeling a fair amount of disappointment and disillusionment and I'm not one given to fairytale romances. Keep reading some threads and hopefully you might find the information you need though lots of people here do have problems and often come to the forum to vent, so they may be helpful where good genuine advise is provided. Best of luck with your journey.
Author Lots0fLove Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 Thank you, yes its overwhelming on here tho Idk where to start or what to read or either I should vent a lot of things people bring up I been there so I can help them but its like when u been threw the road and u end up back at route one its like everything u learned kind of blanks out and u get lost in things so I may know the answer to some of my questions but I love other people's inputs its just more helpful and very helpful to know if others experienced the same things as I. Thank you for ur kind words. You're certainly not alone with feeling confusion about love and life and relationships. I find myself feeling a fair amount of disappointment and disillusionment and I'm not one given to fairytale romances. Keep reading some threads and hopefully you might find the information you need though lots of people here do have problems and often come to the forum to vent, so they may be helpful where good genuine advise is provided. Best of luck with your journey.
Mellisa Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Hey I am in a Dilemma because my last relasionship was in August and I been single since than but have been dating and everyone I have dated we took it serious and than it clashed, furturmore I don't know how to date with out catching any type of feelings and wanting to rush it a bit cuz I feel like my biological clock is ticking and I know u may think I am pathetic because I am only 23 to feel this way but I do. So I am a very vounerable person so the next person arms that gives me the attention I want I surrender and thinking about it I think its a bad thing I just want to be saved from all my loneliness. Dating and getting to know several different men at a time is so much work and so much getting to know each other u have to basically explain who u r over and over and over again and it never ends and obviously I have not met Mr. Right just yet! What to do?!?! what to do?!?! I need help on how to not be so vounerable and learn how to date with out me thinking so fast into the future. Thanks ahead of time Maria. Sweetie,seriously,23 with a biological clock ticking?What's the rush?You've got plenty of time ahead of you! You sounds desperate and dating in that state wont do you any good.What are you so afraid of being single?Being single and alone isnt that bad!There are plenty of older women out there who are single and happy. Seems like all the datings scenes haves made you stressed out.Maybe it's time to take a break and adjust your mindset.There are more in life than finding the one.You have to enjoy being with yourself first before you find someone you can enjoy being with.
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