lovelearner Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 A guy told me upfront he's not ready for a serious relationship(listed a couple of realistic reasons) yet said he really likes me and keeps seeing me, behaves very caring and sweet on dates yet gives absolutely no attention to me in between. Does this mean he does like me and wants to date me and see how it goes, or it simply means" he's not that into me", period?
Idalis Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Sounds to me like he means what he says, doesnt want a relationship, but he's probably fishing to see if your down for a fling.
strength-abounds Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Sounds to me like he means what he says, doesnt want a relationship, but he's probably fishing to see if your down for a fling. Agreed. I am fairly certain that this dude is looking for a FWB, not a serious relationship.
that girl Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Why on earth would you think being nice to you means he want more from you? Lots of people are nice- waiters, random people at parties, small children. It doesn't mean they see a long term bond with you.
Author lovelearner Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 That's the thing I don't understand. If I'm not interested in a guy I wouldn't behave like I really care about him. Why would a guy that is not interested in me at all and has no feelings for me behave like he really cares about me? Like make me breakfast and help me dry my hair?!
Surrealist Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Another possibility is that he is lazy when he is not with you and turns it up when he is with you. He could be looking for a fling as mentioned, so he is going to invest at the time when the situation can readily arise, namely when you two are together in person.
Mellisa Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 A guy told me upfront he's not ready for a serious relationship(listed a couple of realistic reasons) yet said he really likes me and keeps seeing me, behaves very caring and sweet on dates yet gives absolutely no attention to me in between. Does this mean he does like me and wants to date me and see how it goes, or it simply means" he's not that into me", period? I'm wondering what those realistic reasons are hehe..All i can say is that he likes you on dates.You havent slept with him yet have you?If he continues to ask you out, being caring and sweet,he might like you or he might just want to get you into bed.But even if a guy likes you, it doesnt translate into "i want a serious relationship with you".He has warned you not to get your hopes up high.
Lucky555 Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 ya sounds like my situation. I thought by getting to the point i was going to get somewhere with the guy im seeing and instead it turned out he wants to "work on things/see where it goes" LOL!! Well if he wants to date thats when we will see how it goes, if he wants a relationship then its a commitment to me. Other than that don't accept the scraps he gives you sweetie!!! Otherwise relationship means that I will do my part in the relationship, see where it goes means i will date and will not be sleeping with him! haha Some men are going to try to get away with just having a "for now girl" not a girlfriend this way they can be "single" but have their "cake" if you know what i mean. lol Don't let him string you along, either your dude wants the same or he doesn't but dont let him try to decive you so he can get laid. Seriously the guy im seeing was attentive and sweet while i was with him but when im not he so far isn't calling/text/or sending me messages to see me again. Wait when he needs to fullfill a NEED he will contact me and I will tell him if he wants to see where it goes we are only dating. The guy im with wanted to be exclusive IT didnt mean relationship!!! I found this out and posted on the forum thanks to some great people they helped me figure it out. hope this post helps you.
MJ2 Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Sounds like he legit isn't able to devote the time and engery a successful relationship requires. You're probably the type of woman he's normally interested in when he's looking for a LTgirlfriend... So, one of the many possible answers regarding his mixed sgnls could be, that he's trying to get to know u a little better & hoping you r still in his life when he's ready to commit!? Just my guess. Have u asked him?
make me believe Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 That's the thing I don't understand. If I'm not interested in a guy I wouldn't behave like I really care about him. Why would a guy that is not interested in me at all and has no feelings for me behave like he really cares about me? Like make me breakfast and help me dry my hair?! You're reaching and trying to give his actions meaning because his words are telling you things you don't want to hear. You are two different people so it really doesn't matter how you would behave if you weren't interested in a guy, because that doesn't mean it's how he does (or should) behave in the same situation. You need to go by what he is telling you, which is that he does NOT want a relationship with you. Are you sleeping with him? If so, that's why he acts all sweet & caring when you are together. Because he knows if he acts like a total jerk, you might take the sex away. If you're not sleeping with him already, he's doing all of this stuff to try to get you to sleep with him.
Recommended Posts