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NC message or no message?


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Posted

When I initiate No Contact, should I send an NC message? I've been reading that you're supposed to but people have told me to let him make all the first moves and just be unavailable in the meantime. Advice?

Posted

IDK. I told my ex that I would give her the space she wanted. That was before I found out the truth. I regret telling her that.

Posted

I wouldn't tell them. Just implement it right away. Telling them you're doing NC is redundant and is a strike against you since you have to contact them to say it. Just disappear.

Posted

I'm not a big fan of it:

A descent goodbye creates peace in the long run.

A poor or no goodbye creates hate in the long run.

 

Put it like this. How would you like to be treated and do you have the integrity to live up to it yourself?

 

This doesn't mean that you need some sort of heart sobbing goodbye. Just a simple: I need to continue on with my life and at this moment I don't think it's good for any of us to hang out too much.

Posted

I think it depends on the details of the individual case. In my case it was not appropriate to send one, but for some people it's definitely a good idea.

Posted

in my case as well it wasn't appropriate to send one. if the dumper tells you they need their space, sending a no contact message to them just seems stupid.

Posted

No, do not send a message. It's like you're begging for a response or expecting them to say "no, don't go".

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